Exposing the Psychopath?

Exposing the Psychopath?
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I've read that is the only fear they have. I did it, I told his CEO & brother everything about him and provided evidence. I had to, I knew he'd keep coming back if I didn't. It seems to have worked. I was so low by the final discard, I didn't care anymore.
A part of me must have known and I was saving evidence for months.
I felt I turned the table on him, I betrayed him. Bet he looks at women differently now.

Anyone else expose theirs?

Lily

Janie53's picture

Lily

My advice is not to play with matches for it creates fire. These men are sick and we really don't know exactly what they are capable of. I have witnessed intense narcissitic rage from him as well as have proof of him wanting to kill me.

NC is the way to go!
Stay true!

Janie

lilygirl's picture

Janie

Point taken, the problem is I was already burned from being in a relationship with him. I truly was not myself. Today, screw him, not worth my time.

He was killing me.

lily

Janie53's picture

Lily

And so you are true to you! Way to go!

Janie

cristina's picture

Yes,I exposed him to the OW

Yes,I exposed him to the OW and her family.He was supposed to fly to me but then he told me he will go to a ptsd center to get better for us(he lied he had ptsd from Iraq).Instead he moved in with OW and was so dumb to write checks in her name.I checked his online banking and found her name,of course he told me she is the landlord.But my gut was telling me different so i found their pic on her facebook profile.I sent messages to her whole family,exposing his lies and they believed me because they also had a gut feeling about him,he seemed fake to them.So now they hate him and he isnt allowed in their homes,only OW believed him,even though I gave her the password to the email account he used with me,she saw all our emails and ims but he convinced her its all a set up lol.Oh boy,she will have a rough awakening.

lilygirl's picture

Cristina

Amazing how we are under their spell. Poor OW, hope she wakes up soon.

I knew mine was already in trouble at work and I also knew his brother couldn't figure out why all the women in his life left him. The last one left in the middle of the night and moved to a different state, Dah! i just connected the dots for everyone.

He was doing an excellent job of self destruction, just couldn't resist a little push.

Lily

onwithmylife's picture

lilygirl

I exposed him to himself,he now knows i talked to a relative of his and he and I talked for an hour about the narc, and now he knows that, he got real mad and pissed at me and called me a backstabber, will never hear from him again........

lilygirl's picture

onwithmylife

How long ago was that? I really don't think mine will ever Hoover again, I'm too dangerous. That's what I hope.

lily

onwithmylife's picture

lilygirl

this all transpired last fall via letters, now that he knows I know he is disordered, as did his relative, he will never contact me again, the same may happen for you ,time will tell,,,,,,,,,,,they re very cowardly and when you expose them, run like frightened little kids.......real sick and you will heal in time it took me over 2 plus years to recover from the man.

lilygirl's picture

onwithmylife

Thanks, I'm watching all the Sheridan You tubes, so very helpful.

I want his and his kind out of my life forever.

Whenever he pops in my head, I tell him he's not welcome here.

I hope you're right, I feel stronger now, feel like I could tell him to go away, when I exposed him I didn't feel that way, I was desperate to protect myself.

Wow, two years! It does seem some are worse than others.

Lily

onwithmylife's picture

lilygirl

I spent 15 years with the man and he was a huge part of my life. I have very little support system so the void is still there after these years, 3 years out, tough...........

lilygirl's picture

onwmylife

I can't imagine 15 years. Did he get worse over time?

This site has been a life saver for me. Friends can not understand how mind bending being in a relationship with a psychopathic is.

I've pm a few women who were also with sexual perverts. It's amazing the similarities. So comforting to be able to tell someone what happened.

My husband of 26 years died. Made me a perfect target for the psychopath. I understand the void & loneliness.

Much love.

Lily

Allie's picture

I envy you

that you exposed him, I have envisioned this in my mind. I have so much 'dirt' on my psychopath that it would, at the very least, cause extreme disruption in his life. Things I have documented for many years (ex. naked pics of his wife he sent me as a manipulation). The reason I don't use this information is because I want to protect my loved ones and myself. I don't want to have to look over my shoulder the rest of my life. My psychopath WOULD seek revenge, I don't doubt that at all. I just watched a movie yesterday, "The Stranger beside me" based on the book by Ann Rule about her relationship with Ted Bundy. That is my psychopath, he may not have actually killed anyone (?) but he has so many similarities to Ted that I know that revenge against him is not even an option.

lilygirl's picture

Allie

If you want to envy me, please envy the fact that I was married to a wonderful man for 26 years, he was kind and loving and never abusive.

Perhaps at the time I didn't feel strong enough and felt like if I exposed him he would leave me alone once and for all. There must have been 100 discards in 7 months and I kept taking him back and getting weaker.

I'm a very petite woman and somewhat quiet. I've often been underestimated. I tend to hold my anger in until it is out of control. Not good. But I do believe he never saw it coming.
What does Sheridan say, we weren't victims, we were targets. Hmmm

I refuse to be his target practice any longer.

Today, I'd just say his karma will get him.

Viva la No contact.

Lily

Goldie's picture

He does not look at women differently now

N's and N/P's hate women anyway, so exposing them just feeds into what they already believe to be true about women. They have no love or respect for women. You do not want to mess too close to the bone, if this man is a psychopath. He doesn't care what you do in particular; he does care if you cost him his job especially in this economy.

I have exposed them before when necessary. Doesn't faze them at all aside from the fact that now they need to exert effort towards damage control. He will tell long winded tales regarding how you are the crazy one and how all the evidence was fabricated.

I have seen them talk their way out exposures which included video or taped evidence.

I have NO doubt his brother already knows what he is, afterall if he is N or N/P his brother grew up with him and has already seen it all. Apparently the brother still is able to maintain a relationship with his brother if even on a professional or some other level.

His CEO will determine whether or not the evidence affects HIS and the companies bottomline and if it does he is done and if it does not then he gets another chance depending on how valuable he is to the company.

Most family members and companies do not care about what WE are going through unless it affects them directly. So exposing them very often nets zero results for you or zero consequences for them. Don't forget, he has also been playing them all along.

Also, you need to be careful when screwing with a Psychopath and their families or employement situations because in the event that your actions cause them problems, you may face their wrath and possible repercussions from your actions.

Even people who are NOT P/N and have someone interfere with their families and employement situation have been known to go off.

I'm sure revenge can be temporarily sweet, don't do anything which is going to come back to haunt you.

Revenge is also a fix, a hit, and most certainly is contact. It keeps the buzz alive and it keeps your addiction alive and kicking.

God bless,
Goldie

neverlookback's picture

Lily`

Goldie is right - I need to send you a few more Sheridan clips so you really GET the TOTAL lack of remorse psychopaths have - remember all you and I were to them were just blow up dolls to them and they used our bodies for their sick perversion, THATS IT, we were NOTHING more to them no matter what it SEEMED like - You questioned me about maybe his GF needs to know what he is, I have good reasons for never exposing him - 1st because he does not have a conscience and any attempts on my part to expose him will only cause him a small inconvenience - it wont hurt HIM personally because when push comes to shove if I caused his GF to wake up and leave him guess what? He will just replace her he wont care about losing HER he will only care about replacing what he needed her for and it would be a damn inconvenience alright but only temporary - I am sure he has many women waiting in line to live with the good looking, exciting charming millionaire. I do understand that for the safety of patients this fricking licker should not be practicing medicine and mine should not be pretending he is the law giving him even more power to be a sexual predator - I know its frustrating but sometimes we cant save the world Lily, we just have to save ourselves especially when escaping a psychopath - just too damn risky and dangerous x0x0

Goldie's picture

So true NLB

When I FINALLY was done with my X and he knew it. He said: Damn it, now I have to start all over again and I will always have a place in my heart for you.

I almost laughed out loud. He said this with little emotion as though this was all the closure he needed and that was that. I was the one feeling the relationship he was not. All those prior attempts to stay in it on his parts were strickly because he did not want to lose decent supply.

Once he knew it was over, he literally was like YUP, o.k. I get it now you are done. Bye.

So I was the one wasting all those months crying and emoting. He was feeling nothing, just trying to keep the con alive.

Chilling isn't it?

God bless,
Goldie

lilygirl's picture

Neverlookback

Wise words as usual. But I wish one of his ex's had warned me. By the time I found out he was a swinger and having unprotected sex it was too late. A discreet note would have made a world of difference.

It's not about hurting him. It's all the people he is hurting, both of ours.

Yes, I'm saving myself now, nothing else to do, NC means I don't care or know what he's doing.

Hey, you haven't made me laugh today, what's up?

Lily

neverlookback's picture

LOL

Ok, lets see ok Why does a narc take a shower with the door open? ....... so the mirror doesnt steam up? Ok another one, why does lily buy toilet paper now? because she got a psycho out of her life!!!! har har har

Thats the best I can do

lilygirl's picture

Neverlookback

It worked, thank you. LOL

I still miss Dennis. ha ha

Lily

neverlookback's picture

Oh no you dont

Dennis was a sick LITTLE thing and he was not worth destroying your life over - You will one day have another Dennis who will treat you right!!!!!!

lilygirl's picture

Dennis

Remember Dennis was his imaginery friend! Joke, I don't miss him at all, but I think I'll get the movie Harvey for laughs.

neverlookback's picture

I know

who Dennis was, lol and as I said he was a sick little thing that was not worth it - Mine also had an imaginary friend and he called him DICK, lol

lilygirl's picture

Goldie

Thank you. Like I said I did this within an hour of the last discard. I didn't know he was a psychopath, I didn't know about NC, although I wanted it & it was my primary reason for exposing him.

That last week, he was horrific, he had been given a verbal warning at work, and every call was about the fing shiny headed Mormon CEO, and how dare he.... And we were to go on a trip to his brother's and then he cancelled saying he was afraid of what I might tell his brother.

Honestly it was almost involuntary. I hope the CEO at least watches him, he is a danger.

Me, I'm done, I don't care, I have NC, I'm beginning to see him for the monster he is.

He has changed me forever, he has stolen a part of my soul. Never again.

Lily

flowers's picture

i tried

but it backfired. when i told MY friends about him being a Narc, they didnt believe me, they said that it is fine to say he has not been nice to me, but going as far as saying N would be character assassinating. Since then, i have not said a word to a single soul except here on this forum.

He continues to be the charming, intelligent, charismatic, 'a great friend' that he used to be to the others, but not to me.

ruby01's picture

lily

"Bet he looks at women differently now."

Bet that he doesn't.

I'm sorry if that is harsh, but it's the truth. Your words had no affect on him other than confirming that his words and actions affected you. That's all he needs to know.

midnight7's picture

Exposing a N is a pointless

Exposing a N is a pointless exercise and backfires more often than not. Ns present as 'good' citizen a great deal of the time, they are difficult even for experts to diagnose, most people, unless in close quarters with them, have no real understanding of what we have experienced and are are inclined to disbelief. Not one person I know - friends/family/even a couple of therapists (now dismissed) truly believe what I have been through - they cannot conceive of it. Ns are psychopaths and they never show remorse, supply is always available so they have no problem with devaluing you, telling lies, and generally attempting to ruin your reputation if you have exposed them and as we have often exhibited unstable behaviour due to their abuse in the end people often believe the N. It really isn't worth the bother and exposure is more about revenge than any other motive. If Ns are be a real nuisance we have recourse to the law with restraining orders etc. NC is the best response to a N - walk away, never look back, grow, heal, recover in the silence and peace that follows. Live a good, active, productive life, in control of how you respond to the world, with healthy people around you - this is the best revenge.

abreva's picture

which is why I won't see a "therapist"

If the therapist doesn't believe you -
they write that down in their notes -
if there is custody at stake -
the N/P can get ahold of those notes -
and RUN WITH THEM and USE THEM AGAINST YOU FOREVER.

I prefer to keep my personal life PRIVATE
this forum is much more private than a therapist's office.
and you people actually understand it first hand.
much more valuable.

I like this advice because it is Do-Able - and has nothing to do with THEM:
"NC is the best response to a N - walk away, never look back, grow, heal, recover in the silence and peace that follows. Live a good, active, productive life, in control of how you respond to the world, with healthy people around you..."

lilygirl's picture

Abreva

I'm getting the bigger picture. Please find this and watch it; "Stop Being Food for the Reptilian Complex" - Epic Sermon from Thomas Sheridan.

Amazing.

lily

abreva's picture

I appreciate Thomas Sheridan & this is a great sermon.

Lily,

I will eventually decide if I will expose the EXNH-Psychopath in various ways -- so this topic is really important to me. I feel it is best for me to become financially independent before I even begin to "go there". I know he is scared that I will go public because he has threatened me already about it. He wants me to be SILENT. I have a problem with people trying to control my voice. I am not ARIEL.

If I do expose him, I feel that I will have to have the commitment of it being my Life's Work, possibly. That it might overtake my life -- and I'd have to be willing to be a martyr possibly.

I'm educating myself now. I'm healing up. I'm getting stronger. Might be a lot of merit in just being peaceful and quiet and focusing on happy things -- going THAT direction -- and letting the OTHER people in the EXNH-Psychopath's world handle the evils that he does. I'm OUT. I spent a decade with him. THAT'S ENOUGH. Since I'm essentially NC, I have no real idea of the troubles that befall him. I'm sure that there is lots of trouble. He is out of control, and he will never stop. Some authority could step in and handle it -- and I might never even know. THAT might be the best for me and my heart, my children, my life, and the bees and butterflies and hummingbirds would so appreciate all the flowers I would plant. Ahhhhhh.

No matter what, it will be a thoughtful process -- no sudden moves on my part.

Smiles.

Used's picture

lilygirl

Unfortunatly, This action is the action of a woman scorned...and I believe it will be treated as such...
I truly understand your pain, and even your need to ease your pain by exposing him....
It wont work and you will only feel worse...
Yes I did expose exn to his ow , when she CAME TO ME...to say they had always been in a r/s, but I know now THAT WAS ABOUT ME, my pain in finding this out...
I finished with him and never went back again....
YOUR SILENCE WAS YOUR REVENGE.....

heritage's picture

I exposed him big time.

I exposed him big time. Hunter is right. You don't win. I saw it with his ex wife. He won the entire divorce. Then after he raped me and I filed charges in the town where he lives and also has his practice, he is friends with alll of the cops in town. He does their teeth for free. So my case went to the grand jury and he had no fears. He would keep in touch with his cop friends to know what was happening.

His payback to me now is he has his cop friends pull me over in the town. I have had 5 stops within a year. He did the same to his ex wife. He's a coward. My neighbors have told people about it and some have left his practice. Also, the school district told him he is not allowed to do seminars there anymore. The judge decided not to release the sexual assault charges to the media. If he had I would be dead. He always told me when I was with him they he's got people who can dispose of others, never to be found again. His father was a soldier in the mob. His brother who died, had a person killed and they dumped his skull in the river. He has others do his dirty work. He pays big time and they do it. They protect him.

Also, his ex brother in law is my gyn, so I went to him for std test after the rape and told hium what happened. He did not know I had been seeing him for 5 years. This is his ex wife's brother. His ex wife and I met and I disclosed alll his money hiding under his cousins name during the divorce. So I have exposed him big time.

I also have met with the FBI twice for protective purposes, have filed information on him with 2 police depts in case something happens to me and the Prosecutor's office has alll the info on him from his criminal charges.

He has gone through my neighborhood a few times. He does not know where I work. He has a state trooper friend that makes phone calls to get info for him. He told me he could always find me no matter where I was.

Used's picture

legacy123

What a terrible time you went thru, and how strong a woman you must be....that post is horrific.....

lilygirl's picture

So you should have just let him get away with it?

I can't imagine being raped and not speaking up? Can you move away, that is horrible!

Do you regret it?

Lily

heritage's picture

No Lily I do not regret it. I

No Lily I do not regret it. I have to live with what he did to me the remainder of my life. The detectives and prosecutors office believed me and that is when the decsion was made to give it to the grand jury. There was also some evidence. Had I not done it, I may have not beeen able to live with myself. 2 weeks after the rape he permanently injured me fixing a crown. I ended up with an oral surgeon, a physical therapist because my jaw couldn't move for 3 weeks and also an Ent because of the nerve damage in my ear. He always told me he could harm patients and they would never know. I had been with him 3 1/2 years at this point. He had no remorse and he had a b lank stare when he injected me. My face was black and blue for 2 months. My gut told me it was on purpost then my heart fought my gut feeling. And after the anal rape, he told me it was an accident. I believed him because I thought he loved me and would never harm me. He told the detectives he didn't remember the rape. He is a hardcore sociopath and narc.

lilygirl's picture

Legacy

You have my deepest compassion. When I was 20 my dentist tried to rape me. I stared him in the eyes and told him I would stop at nothing to ruin him if he touched me. He left me alone.

When I was 22 a park ranger tried to rape me at gunpoint, same thing I looked him in the eyes and told him every facial characteristic he had and told him I would go directly to the police and that he had two choices to leave or to rape me and kill me. He started sobbing and gave me his gun.

I don't make a good victim.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I can only imagine the scarring.

I like that my size fools them. Assholes.

Lily

Harper03's picture

Knowing your situation and

Knowing your situation and his job situation and what he was doing... It would bother me knowing his behavior and when he was under the influence seeing patients.

You were in a tough spot!

HUGS...

lilygirl's picture

Thanks Harper

A month later and NC and all the help from this site, no, I wouldn't do it now.

But, it's done and I hope he is stopped from killing someone with his alcohol and drug addled brain.

Lily

Trainwreck56's picture

Know how you feel, MY X lunatic

abused drugs and alcohol, they almost killed us, but they didn't!

We are out that's all that matters!

ncncnc

TW

lilygirl's picture

Trainwreck

he's an emergency room doctor. Can you imagine having your life in his hands?

Trainwreck56's picture

SHIT "ER DOC", I HAD THE DISPLEASURE

OF LIVING WITH ONE FOR 2 YEARS, back like 23 years ago!

NARC BIG TIME, WONDERFUL AT FIRST, IDEALIZE, DEVALUE AND DISCARD!

UNREAL! You would think an ER DOC would behave differently, this DR. was a DRUG ADDICT!

THIS LUNATIC WOULD GO TO THE ER AND BE ALL HUNG OVER FROM DRUGS.. BOOZE, ECCCH!

BEEN THROUGH THE SAME SHIT, SISTA!

TW

lilygirl's picture

drug addict

TW: Same thing, smoked pot until he couldn't walk or talk, always alcohol abuse, then add the prescription drugs and hours of porn every day. He may be carrying a host of STD's, loves unprotected swinger sex. Yeah, that's someone I want making life and death decisions for me.

Trainwreck56's picture

Same shit! OMG

I ended up seeing a shrink for a couple of years after that
Major FUCK UP IN MY LIFE!

Got over it, thank GOD, went back to school got advanced degrees, and WHAM, met a lower class of the same fucking PIG!

I have a great job, make great money, WTF!

NEVER AGAIN!

UGH

TW

lilygirl's picture

they pick the one's with the most energy

He sucked me dry, I wanted to die when he was thru with me, actually I was so depressed the entire time I dated him. I've cried less in the last NC month than the 7 months I dated him. He was a cruel MFer.

I don't ever want to date again, his perverse sexual addictions and emotional cruelty have fixed me.

I have a good life, I'm healthy, have a great job, am educated, could buy and sell him 5 times over. I don't drink or do drugs, my worst addiction is to my bike. I sleep like a baby every night since NC.

I'm done with men.

Lily

Trainwreck56's picture

Good for You!

Lily save all your goodness for someone that is deserving of you!

That's where I'm at, and if you never meet them, that is OK
too!

We all have our sanity back and PEACE!

TW

Harper03's picture

TW

Mine is on his way to being a dr. What is with them and this profession????

Trainwreck56's picture

Harper, profession is not what the issue

is, you would want to think that they might HOLD themselves
to a professional standard of behavior! NO!

They come in all shapes and sizes, what they do for living
has nothing to do with a PSYCHOPATH!

They are what are what they are!

I have this attorney that I have to deal with, who has LITTLE MAN'S COMPLEX!

HE FUCKS WITH MY JUDGE & I ON OCCASION,AND WE F-HIM BACK, DISCRETELY!

LOL!

I THINK HE MIGHT BE A NARC......I HAD A PISSING MATCH WITH HIM ONE TIME, HE WAS TOTALLY OUT OF LINE HE LOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL

TW

He gets the message NOW LOUD AND CLEAR!

I

Harper03's picture

I know... It's just scary to

I know... It's just scary to think of them treating patients.

Harper03's picture

But, I am very aware NOT ALL

But, I am very aware NOT ALL DR's fall under this category!

Trainwreck56's picture

No way!

SAFER TO JUST RUN AWAY!

The Wrath of these Lunatics is not worth bringing on yourself!!

They are just tooooooo unpredictable are very dangerous!

I know you wanted revenge, the best revenge is NC!

I could, but I won't WASTE my time and energy ON HIM is best spent on ME for a change!

Sorry to hear that, but its O.K., whatever the fall out if there is any will be for him to deal with! I'm sure he
will spin everything around on you!

TW

Hunter's picture

You will not win.. Have you

You will not win.. Have you been reading ?. These people are extremely Dangerous..

You DO NOT UNDERSTAND..

Looks at women differently.. He does care about men, woman children, anyone.. IT'S ALL ABOUT HIM..

HE WILL BE BACK..

Hunter