I go thru this exercise often:
The reality: Do I miss going to his filthy two room cabin, bringing all the food, cleaning his filthy two room cabin and cooking? Being ignored as he writes another song?
Do I miss him kicking the shit out of me at night, (he had restless leg syndrome). or the night time farting? Or him turning on all the lights at 1 a.m. because he couldn't sleep and had to read Calvin & Hobbs?
Do I miss him getting drunk and stoned every night and telling me about the beautiful babe he met in Jamaica when he was 25? (heard that one a dozen times)
Do I miss him constantly trying to coerce me into having sex with strangers so he could watch?
Do I miss him coming to my beautiful home and trashing it, puking in the sink and leaving it for me to clean up? Telling me to go for a bike ride by myself as he was working on a song.
Do I miss his toxic breath, with all the drugs he takes, it's chemical warfare going on inside his body.
Do I miss his constantly telling me about other woman and checking them out in front of me?
Do I miss that he was always on swinger sites looking for sex? Or chatting up a stranger and ignoring me?
Reality check: I miss my husband who was kind and clean and healthy. Who knew what love was and never once cheated on me.