Time for you to seek the professional advice of a divorce lawyer in your state. If you have three minor children, then the mother should remain in the house with them. And he should move out. And pay child support based upon the guidelines predicated upon income & the number of children.

YOU have a lot of legal rights here. YOU do not have to slink away.

If he's violent, get a restraining order.

You need to make a decision. It's all about you & your children. Even what you write above is all about him & what he does. The first step is to decide that you're finished with him. Let him go off with NW. Gives him a place to live & out of your space. After you decide that you're done with his emotional, psychological, financial abuse -- consult with a lawyer as to your legal rights & options under the law. Third, make the plan & execute. And DO NOT tell him anything. It's all a secret.

Divorcing a narcissist is the most harrowing & horrible experience. Let your lawyer handle all negotiations. Do not make any private deals with the N. He will try to manipulate you. DOn't be fooled. If he's already tight with money when you are the wife, what he will do when you are divorcing him will knock your socks off.

Where in TX are you?

I know of some resources depending on where you are?

Clearly he is abusing you severly on an emotional level at this point. We do not know all the details in a post in order to tell you what you need to do. What I would strongly recommend is that you go to the Woman's Center in your area and FIND OUT what they have for resources.

You go to or call the WC and talk to them about free therapy, support groups and find out what they think you should do. They are expert in this field and trained to advise you as to housing, shelters, restraining orders, referring you to legal aid, ect... Make sure that he does not find out you are doing this, often they do become violent when they learn you are trying to leave. Use your head. Protect yourself and your children.

You need to speak with an attorney who specializes in domestic abuse issues. The Woman's Center may be able to steer you in that direction as well. They generally DO NOT charge you for a consultation.

Obviously, if he becomes violent call 911.

If you feel you are unable to do this, then PM me and I will walk you through it and help you to find the resourses in your area. They will still require YOU to make the call.

Let us know what you decide to do.

God bless,
Goldie

might be the worse thing you can do, I'm sure his presence causes havoc and is a severe emotional drain of all of you,
which makes the situation intolerable!

The children are you first priority and so are you, to hell with him and the OW!

Play it safe, check out options, maybe staying with friends?
Shelter, possibly! Do what's right for all of you..JUST BE
SAFE, don't tell him you are leaving, just go!!

You never know how he will react when he know your leaving!

Follow your GUT instinct! Do whatever you have to do, let lawyers and the courts sort out the rest!

HUGS

TW

Do you have a support group you can turn to that might allow you to stay with them for a while? At this point, unless you or your children are in any danger, I would toughen it out until the right moment.

Do you have any savings or is there a way you can try to get a job? If I were you I would secretly meet up wih a lawyer (many of them offer free consultations) and discuss alimony and child support.

Where there is a will there is a way.

for you hun, cant imagine how hard it must be. I think, if you can, try to stick it out. If it was just you maybe going to the shelter would be the best thing, but as you say, it would be a big upheaval for you children. I take it from what your saying that you have somewhere to go in just over a month? could that not be brought forward?
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