Weekends seem to hit hard forme. Need to plan some more activities so I can avoid the despair I seem to go through each weekend. I continue to be confused and just want to get off this merry go round. I have been talking to a therapist who believes husband of 18 years is a narc. She is a relationship therapist and has advised working on the relationship is not a good idea. She suggested a book to read called "After the Affair". It goes into how the betrayed partner feels etc but also how the cheating spouse also feels. It all fits so well so I am confused as to where this be ones narcissistic behavior or just the emotions a cheating spouse goes through. He claims he loves me and he know what he has to do with regards to OW. (meaning end it). He says his dream is I will take him back after he sorts himself out and shows me how wonderful he can be and we more or less live happily ever after. Reading on this forum for several months now says anything coming out of his mouth is lies. Just after reading this book gave me some hope that marriages do survive affairs. I guess both partners have to be willing. Seven months is a long time for him to come to a decision. So yes he is selfish and is not willing to sacrifice anything in order to give our marriage a chance. I was feeling so strong earlier today, but have fallen in a heap again. Little things can trigger the hopelessness etc. thanks for hearing me everyone.