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Bwaaaaahaaaaa! ROTFLMAO!
Wallace
Member since:
1 year 39 weeks
1 year 39 weeks
Last activity:
1 week 4 days
1 week 4 days
Bwaaaaahaaaaa! ROTFLMAO!
Posted April 28, 2012 - 4:53am
Had an earth-shatteringly funny thought last night. For some reason I just suddenly pictured the OW (my ex best friend/bridesmaid who is currently with my exNH) sitting on a beach in the howling wind getting sandblasted while being forced to watch exNH kitesurf! He he he he! I am just so glad it's not me anymore! He used to drag me down there to watch him so I could tell him how special he was and used to give me holy hell if I didn't go bc then I was being "unsupportive", Yeah right! And he even likened it to a mother going to watch her son play school sport (I should have waved the red flag around like mad at that comment). Aaah shame, poor little man....having to be praised all the time to boost his fragile little ego. So now I only go to the beach on still days when I WANT to go and if I don't feel like going, then I don't! FREEEEEEEDOM! My online name comes from the feeling I had when I left him - William "Braveheart" Wallace shouting freedom - a friend of mine said instead of a sword I should wave my vibrator around in the air - lol! So come on ladies, post some freedom stories of things you DON'T have to do anymore now that you're on The Path Forward. Have a super duper weekend!
xxx
© E. Scott Enterprises | Lisa E. Scott
We are not certified mental health professionals and this site and message board is in no way a replacement for professional therapy, legal or medical advice.
I've always wondered what the
April 29, 2012 - 8:26pm — ThisIsTheEndI've always wondered what the deal was with narcissists being hypochondriacs. Mine was constantly "sick." He would complain about his "symptoms" for months and how they would never "go away." He also was 31 but claimed he needed a "hip replacement."
Do you ladies think this has something to do with supply? Is this just another way to get attention and have people feel sorry for them? Or do you think it could be something deeper?
~TITE
yes, it's a way to get
May 1, 2012 - 4:07pm — Belle de jouryes, it's a way to get attention. Mine would say: "I can sense that I don't have enough time ahead of me, something tells me I' ll die young"...of course he was healthy as a horse. He would always complain about chest pains, stomach pains etc. He loved to see me worried about his health...The sick bastard...
No clue
April 29, 2012 - 8:59pm — Reason2BelieveAs to why Wanna B was always complaining about
Not having slept well - that was he first statement out of his mouth EVERY morning
Headache
Foot hurt
Back hurt
Knee hurt
Shoulder hurt
Twisted back
Neck sore
Not sure if it was for attention or sympathy, but trust me, that crap went in one ear and out the other with me. I hate that whiney ass stuff, so he never complained about one symptom a second time. But the next day,he was on to another complaint. Sometimes, I would tell him it was time to trade him in for two 25 year olds- except, I have no desire to raise children again. That would shut him up.
I have little energy left to try and figure him out. All I know, is that whining is a real red flag for me.
Reason
I needed a good laugh, and
April 28, 2012 - 3:35pm — Deidre99I needed a good laugh, and this did the trick. lol ;)
Any man who ever tells me again...'you should be supportive,' I'm running in the other direction. Like you say...like we're parents going to their recital or something? lol
I mean...you need 'support' kite surfing? hahaha
I believe that support doesn't need to be asked for, it's just given by someone who loves another. Most likely, you were supportive of a lot ...but maybe you didn't care to go to the beach. Heaven forbid you don't do as you're expected! You have desires of your own, oh the horrors!
hahaha @ the vibe comment. No doubt. A vibrator is quite a nice invention indeed...better than a lot of men out there, and it doesn't complain about anything.
I can't believe I just posted that out loud here. :=P
Speaking of support
April 29, 2012 - 8:28am — Reason2BelieveI think Wanna B did the final D& D when he gave up on thinking that he could get me to allow him to move in to my house. What would come next? He would quit his day job and mooch off of me. NFW.
Piece of squid shit.
REASON
You'd all eventually get bored
April 28, 2012 - 11:50am — Movingforwardnowreading all I could write on that. The site would explode or go offline from too much activity so I will only post a few of my bazillion things I can do now"
1. Go where I want when I want
2. Get my hair, nails or toes done when I want, if I want
3. Buy clothes for myself
4. Sleep peacefully
5. No longer forced into sexual perversion
6. Concentrate on loving me and my kids and no longer have to put exnarctard first, second, third, fourth, fifth, etc...
6. Breathe
7. Swim in the pool without the fear of him trying to drown me
ok......that's it for now but oh the list is endless.....
I never think about the xN
April 28, 2012 - 11:47am — midnight7I never think about the xN anymore. I am changed to the very core from the experience but I chose not to be limited, confined, and defined by it. I am living a full life, with good friends around, in control of my emotional landscape, my own firm foundation in the world. The psychopath xN still a sad human being, still desperate for supply, still controlled by his disorder unable to see all the beauty and wonder in the world that we do every day, unable to experience deep feeling, love for another. The xN is insignificant. I am free.
I will be so thankful
April 28, 2012 - 2:31pm — Tar Heel Bluewhen I reach the point in my recovery that you have reached.
Congratulations and good job, I know it's been a long hard road.
You're an inspiration, thank you!
THB
Dear Tar Heel Blue - you will
April 29, 2012 - 12:45pm — midnight7Dear Tar Heel Blue - you will get there, it is an incredibly slow process. I cannot believe what I came to endure, what I normalized - the Ns emotional, physical abuse, infidelity, constant ill health, an STD, the Ns pathological/compulsive lying - but we do survive and one takes the opportunity to construct a world we have always longed for, one we thrive in, are productive in, we set goals which we then achieve, find good people to be with and where we are in control of how we respond to all. Mindfulness has been most useful (Buddhist and psychological concept). You are on your new journey now - free - embrace this change x
There are so many things I DON't miss
April 28, 2012 - 8:29am — Tar Heel BlueLike:
-Panicking because I realize my cell phone is turned off/out of power/out of range, because I know what I'll be accused of doing, and what I'll have to defend myself against
-Constantly being reminded of my physical "shortcomings" so that he can feel better about his short scrawny ass self
-Repeatedly being told every single day which women have or want to have sex with him, and having to hear how many women are giving him second looks and how they obviously want him
-Hearing the same OLD things over and over about how I have "let him down" in the past
-Being told that everything he's done to hurt me has been MY fault...it's because of something that I did YEARS ago that he has to do this or that to hurt me
-Having to feed his damn ego and oooh and aaah over him after he finishes working out, telling him that yes, I can see how pumped up he is and yes, he looks awesome, and yes, I can tell how his muscles are growing and the veins are popping out all over his body. What a man!
-Having to listen to him tell me, repeatedly, what a STAR his is in martial arts, and how nobody else he knows has 7 black belts in different martial arts
-Being told what I can wear and where I can wear it, having to wear FLAT shoes all the time so I won't be taller than him
-Having to watch stupid movies about gladiators and Roman times and shit, pretending to be interested
-Having to listen to him "sing" and tell him what a WONDERFUL voice he has and how I could listen to him all day (gag)
-Being told that for years I've been nothing but a FUCK but that doesn't mean he doesn't love me (????)
-Having to listen to his list of physical ailments endlessly, every single day. My back, my legs, my head, I'm sick, I think I'm coming down with something, blah blah blah
-Being accused of having "someone else" simply because I neglect to ask him WHAT HE IS WEARING every single damn day
-Being cut off mid-sentence if I start to say something about MYSELF, only to have the subject changed back to HIM
-Being told where to meet him, when to be there, how long we can stay, etc etc and expected to drive however far it takes to get there
-Being told I'm everything then treated like I'm nothing.
I could go on forever. That felt great.
xxx
THB
"-Having to feed his damn ego
April 28, 2012 - 1:56pm — Alissa"-Having to feed his damn ego and oooh and aaah over him after he finishes working out, telling him that yes, I can see how pumped up he is and yes, he looks awesome, and yes, I can tell how his muscles are growing and the veins are popping out all over his body. What a man!"
Hahahaha NO MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was feeding his ego all the time too, saying all the things that you said (ohhhhhhh those veins!!!!!!!!!!!!) LOLOLOLOL
Disgusting
April 28, 2012 - 2:20pm — Tar Heel Bluearen't they?
I have 2 comments -
April 28, 2012 - 1:06pm — wshFirst - how in the hell did you stand this asshole for more than a month! Yours make mine sound like Prince Charming!
Second - I can't believe he LET you watch "gladiator" movies! Those guys are GORGEOUS!
I'm so sorry you had to deal with someone THAT f'd up!
But happy for you that you are OUT now.
Stay strong! Better days ahead.
The more I read
April 28, 2012 - 2:28pm — Tar Heel Bluethe more I realize how AWFUL he was to me, and how fucked up he really is. I took it for 19 years, but NO MORE! And that list is far from complete, believe me. He never physically abused me, but the mental and emotional abuse was horrendous.
I think he wanted me to watch those movies so I'd tell him how much BETTER he looked than all of those hot sweaty muscular guys on screen. Gag.
I'm sorry that any of us had to put up with any of these messed up, selfish people for a single day. The only difference between them seems to be the degrees of abuse and how long we were able to stand it. And I'm so glad and grateful that we are all out, and pray that we STAY out.
Strength has been a long time coming for me, but I'm hanging on. Thanks for your encouragement, and I know you're right, there are better days ahead. Thank God.
xxx
THB
OMG!
April 28, 2012 - 11:16am — Wallace- My exNH used to also complain about how sore his back was and used chronic pain as an excuse for every bit of narky behaviour he ever displayed. Also didn't sleep well - usually because I "disturbed" him at night. I don't miss that ongoing moaning and groaning - but funnily enough his back was never to sore to kitesurf!
- I don't miss walking on eggshells never knowing what mood he was going to be in
- I don't miss having to run through conversations with him in my mind anticipating every answer/argument/tantrum before I broached any subject that was on shaky ground
- I don't miss having to go to gym with him and the tantrums when I didn't want to go - despite the fact that I had flu/severe IBS/back pain!/gastroenteritis etc - I would always just have to suck it up and go with him. The one time he refused to go with me to my dad's birthday dinner bc I didn't want to go to gym with him!
- I don't miss being his maid that he would have sex with every now and then
- I don't miss crying myself to sleep every night
- I don't miss that feeling of anxiety in the pit of my stomach when his car used to pull up in the driveway
- I don't miss Ninja Warriors, Takeshi's Castle, Ice Road Truckers, Whatever the Fuck Else the Stupid Narc used to watch and I never got to watch what I wanted on TV
- I don't miss the spiteful comments about my clothes, hair, sense of humour, friends, work, family
- I certainly DON'T miss the tantrums, the glares, the rage episodes
- I don't miss the semi, never-quite-firm-enough erection
- I don't miss the lack of foreplay or intimacy or that feeling after sex where I just felt like a human blow-up-doll
- I DON'T MISS HIM AT ALL!!!!
....I do miss his dog, though....Lol!
No More
April 28, 2012 - 7:56am — ruby01Walking on eggshells just to hang on to a pathetic loser!
No more listening to him babble
April 28, 2012 - 7:47am — jenniferNo more listening to him babble on and on and on!! "My head hurts, my stomach is upset, I'm depressed," etc OR if he's having a good day, I have to listen to stories of how he impressed people at work or wherever with his funny story or charm or skill, etc. I felt more like his mommy! ugh!
Let's see.......
April 28, 2012 - 7:31am — wshno more cleaning up HIS messes; no more putting up with his pig friends (or HIS pig-ness for that matter); no more finding porn on the computer; I can go/do/be anything I want without being told how "wrong" I am; I can take vacations that I want & actually DO things (not just sit around watching him watch women); no more putting up with his f'd up family; no more listening to him whining that he's "bored" (if no one else is around);
Hell.....I could go on all day. It feels so wonderful to get to be ME again! To be WHO I AM without put-downs and complaints.
FREEDOM ROCKS!!!
Where do I begin????
April 28, 2012 - 6:23am — Reason2BelieveHmmm, let's see now, I do not miss:
Walking into his apartment and finding him (late afternoon) sitting in his pj bottoms.
Sitting in his apartment on a beautiful Sunday afternoon watching him sit in his chair glued to the TV, because he has to watch an "important" sports game.
Having to wait an hour for the Viagra to kick in and watching 2 reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond as foreplay.
Looking at the 3 tons of recyclables sitting in his kitchen because he's too lazy to take them down the dumpster on his way to the car.
Listening to him complain that (a) he didn't sleep well last night (b) his stomach is bothering him (c) he must have pulled his back out lifting some damn thing at work
(d) his throat is sore- hopes he is not coming down with something or he may not be able to sing this weekend (e) how much he hates his day job, boss, co workers, drivers on the road, customers, lady at the check out counter, idiot who got his coffee order wrong, blah, blah,blah.
Having him spending so much time stinking up the bathroom because of his delicate stomach and to make things worse, the attempt to disguise the stench with massive doses of airfreshener.
Hearing comments about his Wanna B rock star "special" status. (I can wear what I want to the party-I'm a musician)
And most of all,not having to look at the fat, bloated tick prance around naked.
That was fun! Thanks for the idea!
Reason
I dont have to cook him the dinner HE WANTED!
April 28, 2012 - 5:11am — Trainwreck56Did a lot of cooking for the NARC, or if he cooked at my house, he made a horrendous mess, which I had to clean up!
Don't have to do that anymore, don't have to sit in his favorite shit hole bar all day saturday and sunday, then go back to my place to cook some more, and have him D & D ME!
NO MORE OF HIS LOUSY SHIT SANDWICHES...NO MORE OF HIM PLANNING EVERYTHING, which was also contingent on how much he had to drink, or drinking be centered around all our
activities!
Don't miss his sorry ass at all!
TW