Kyntoep's Story Narc - 2

Narc Addict-story 2

I shared my most recent story a few days ago. I have been involved with 5 of these creatures. Here's story #2.

My background is I've been with 5 men who have devestated my life. My father is an alcoholic and my mother is a crack addict. I have 7 brothers and I'm the only girl. I'm second oldest so I wasn't the princess I was the caregiver. By the age of 17 I was out of the house and took in 4 of my brothers to raise and get them away from horrific abuse for the next 8 years. I'm a mother of 3 wonderful children. The good in me is I have a wonderful career, I'm very strong, I'm compassionate, generous to a fault, I have a genuine desire to better the world around me, and I love deeply. I also sadly am an alcoholic. All of these things combined make me a prime target. And yes I have a seriously bad pattern. I am getting MDMR therapy for PTSD and codependance. I'm determined to change.

I was a 24 year old single mom. Tending bar in a high volume night club and having the time of my life. I walked into a party one night and met this really hot surfer dude. We invited h to go to the river the next day and he showed. He was on me like crazy. I was very flattered. He came home with me that night. By the weekend he told me he loved me and asked me to marry him. Within 6 months we were married. He showered me with love, attention, gifts, and affection. He treated me like a princess and he adored my son. I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world.

I had our first daughter 12 months after we got married and our second 12 months after that. He told me his mom stayed home with him and that's how he wanted his children raised. Because of my families issues he hated them and alienated them completely. I didn't see any of my family for 7 years. When our first daughter was 9 days old she started screaming. And I swear she did not stop for 12 months. About a month into it my ex told me when she can say 'daddy my tummy hurts let me know. Until then I don't want anything to do with her.' I was pregnant with our second child and my son was 4 and I was going to school mostly online or telecourse and had to be hospitalized 2x for exhaustion. He would get furious if she cried at night do I would walk the neighborhood for hours not to disturb him.

He worked non stop and got my son involved in sports. His schedule was get up at 5 out the door at 5:30, home by 4:30 dinner was to be ready, change go to coach my sons fb/bb/wrestling get home by 9, dinner again, shower, bed 6 days a week. I literally never saw him. We started growing distant and I started getting resentful. My friends called me the sports widow wife. Then he started ignoring me. We would go to parties and he would hang with the adults while I took care of the kids. I would ask him why he ignored me he said he didn't want to hang with the kids that's what I was for. Then he started pulling further away. When the girls were 3 and 4 I went to my sons wrestling tournament. I set up a blanket and play place right by him a few minutes later he got all his stuff and moved it to the other side of the gym. I packed and moved by him. He moved again. I followed and said why do u keep moving. He says because I don't want to be by you. He said you don't get it I don't need you here and I don't want you here. Just leave me alone. I started getting really resentful. So we started arguing. One night he started running after me and I tried shutting the door he kicked the door into me and broke my hand. I'm on the floor screaming and he's standing over me telling me I'm a stupid fat worthless piece of shit. He wouldn't take me to the hospital so I drove myself. He agreed to go to marriage therapy. The therapist said all the problems revolved aroundy upbringing and I was clingy and he was great. I spent 6 months being told it was my fault he broke my hand, callede every name in the book, told me I was a fat disgusting pig daily. Btw I was a 6/8. And he was a strong and good man. Huh.

We had been married 7 years and I was graduating with my second degree. Which he told me nonstop I was too stupid and a quitter and u would never get the first one. He also told me i had the best I would ever have and he was the best I would ever get. He would even tell me 'if you really lived me you would lose 20 pounds because your disgusting.' anyways. His company went bankrupt. And he got a job in construction sales. The hitch was he had to go to a small coastal town during the week for a few months. I freaked. I said if you go me and the kids ate coming too. He said no. And that's when all hell broke loose.

2 weeks into it he started not answering his phone. Them would call back from the car. I started getting really uncomfortable with his behavior. He started drinking a lot and started telling me I don't have to call you every day your not my mom! We were fighting a lot. He told me and the kids to come down for a mini vacation. The place was messy (company condo) and I started cleaning. Went to dump the trash in hisses yet bath. Women's toiletry items were in the trash. I freaked. He said it was a coworker. Then he got real sweet and bought me stuff. Wrote a long letter about me being the love of his life. I believed him. A month later he came home for the weekend and it was my bday. We are at dinner he says I'm going to costa rica for 2 weeks with my friends. I was really upset. I'm taking care of everything at home and he's going on a luxury vacation and I'm not invited? Wth? He says it's my money and I will spend it how I want. I'm like do what? He left me with 3 kids no money or food and went on his trip. He came home and said u want a divorc and left. I was devestated. A week later he wanted his family. I forgave him. He told me and the kids to come to the condo for a mini vacation again we went. The place is a mess again. He says don't worry my maid comes tomorrow. I'm like who is this person? Theauds come the next day. And one of them pulls out a pair of black satin thing panties out of the dryer hands them to me. I confronted him. I swear he looks me straight in the eye and says without any forethought 'those are your panties you brought them here and planted them to cause problems in our marriage.'. I call him a liar before I know it he's got his hands around my neck and he's strangling me and beatings against the wall. The neighbor heard and started beating on the door. He ran to calm the neighbor and I hid in the bathroom. Within minutes he rips the door off the hinges and starts beating me with it. Neighbor breaks front door in he runs down the street I get the kids and hail ass home.

A week layer he shows up with flowers, letters, tears pouring down his face, begging for another chance. We spend the next month being happy. Now reading every book on the planet to be a better wife. He's still traveling. His patents come to town for Christmas. We have Christmas and jump in the car to head to the beach condo for fun. That night I say 'baby how come you didn't get me a Christmas gift?' the next thing I know he jumps on top of me wraps his hands around my throat telling me he's gonna kill me. His dad kicks the door in and pulls him off me. I grab my stuff jump in the car and head home. I leave the kids with his parents. New years hits and I go to a friends for a party. I get home at 12:30 and they are all at the house having new years and didn't even tell me they were coming home. I walk in and he calls the police. I'm like What's going on. He had prewarned the police I'm a crazy dangerous drunk. They get there and see not and make him leave me and my kids alone. The next morning his parents asked if they could take the kids for a movie. I went to the store come home and his patents had cleared out with the kids and all their stuff. I filed for divorce.

2 weeks later he comes back with the kids. I take my son to a sporting event and let him get served. After he got served that man cried screamed begged pleaded. And moved back home. 4 months of normal. Then they needed him back for an emergency on the job at the coast. Within one day of going back he won't call or answer. He comes home weekends for the next month and started hiding his phone and acting strange. One night I feel the bed vibrating it's under the bed locked. Then a few days later I'm hanging up clothes and hear it vibrating. It's in his high school letter jacket. Locked. The next day I'm putting away his under ware it's in his drawer vibrating and unlocked. Ha! Hundreds of missed calls all the same number. I do a reverse check. Yep a woman. I confront him. He looks me straight in the face and without hesitation says one of my employees is having an affair. I can't stand people who would do something like that so I fired him. He's trying to get his job back. Uh huh.

Other incidents like lipsticks rolling out from under seat. Of course that was mine too. Receipt to hotel in Vegas. No idea where that came from. Until I wake up one morning and he's gone with the kids again. 2 weeks go by. He shows up I want my wife!!!! Cry cry blah blah. 2 months vanished. I can no longer take it. My company promotes me and moves me to another part of the state. He's so proud of me we are back together. Little worthless fat stupid couldn't accomplish anything is the number one sales manager in the insurance company in the country. He's home and life is good for about 6 months. Them the company sends him back in that damn coast job.

He's back on weekends and things are going great! He says he's gomna have to stay on the job 2 years. Can't stand being away from me anymore please quit your job put the stuff in storage and get to the coast with the kids so we can be a real family again. I do. I get there with the kids. Walk in the condo. He says with a huge smile 'thanks for bringinge the kids. You have 5 minutes to kiss them goodbye. Then I'm calling the police and having you arrested for criminal trespassing on my employers property. I freak! He calls the police. They get there and say we know all about you and that you're crazy. Get out. And his girlfriend he'd been seeing for 2 years and had been living there for 3 months stood there laughing in glee. I went back home.

I'm without my kids no job and no home. I go to a friends and ask to crash on the couch. Put out a resume get a great job immediately. Start tending bar at nights too. In 3 weeks I take my first check and rent a house. I go to get my stuff from storage. Sorry ma'am your husband had us auction off the unit and send him a check. He successfully stripped me of everything.

By week 4 he had me in court for the divorce and sued me for custody. He told the judge u was mentally ill and unstable. The judge said you have 24 hours to get those kids to their mom. With beds and clothes.

It took 14 months to finalize everything. The social worker determined through the social study that my ex should have supervised visitation, was abusive, manipulative and controlling. And that he shouldn't be allowed to parent until he finished a bunch of classes. The social worker testified that my ex had 'something' wrong with him that there was no hope of ever fixing.

The grand justice? The girlfriend left him 3 months after the divorce was final. Lol. He showed up out of the blue 3 months after that and asked to takes to dinner. He looked ate across the table and with tears rolling down his face he says 'I lost my family didn't I? I really lost my family.' I said yes you did and you will never get us back. He got up and walled out of the restaurant.

Our divorce has been final 6 years this September. I've watched him go through 14 serious relationships, have had phone calls in the middle of the night that he hit them or they caught him with a woman. To this day he's never apologized. And has never accepted one ounce of responsibility.

I did get one good honest thing though that I almost think was real. Through my recent nightmare marriage he's been real 'supportive.' And he wasnt trying to get in my pants or anything he said 'Kyndal I hate seeing you with this monster. You are the most incredible human being I've ever known in my entire life and you deserve better than I or he has ever given you. You deserve to be treated as wonderfully as all of the people around you ate treated by you.'

Closure. Kinda. He asked for money 30 minutes later. Lol.

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