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I MADE IT!!!!!! So why am I crying?
coffeeaddict66
Member since:
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2 years 1 week
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1 year 7 weeks
I MADE IT!!!!!! So why am I crying?
Posted April 27, 2012 - 4:33pm
Hello everyone,
Well, the final day of court was yesterday. The judge signed off...it's done. The divorce is final. After all I have been through, picking myself up, plastering that smile on my face and going to work every day, I finally made it.
I took today off to celebrate. Got a new hairdo, did some shopping, finally the day I have waited so long for.
And here is sit crying like a lost puppy. Why can't I get over this. He doesn't hoover, he moved over an hour away, so I never see or hear from him, and heaven knows between work and finishing school I have enough to keep me busy. I dont even think of him.I was over that a long time ago, its like I dont even remember him.
So why? Why am I crying like its day 1? All I can think about is how broken I am. The damage I am left with is inside of me and no matter how hard I try, I can't fix it. Why?
© E. Scott Enterprises | Lisa E. Scott
We are not certified mental health professionals and this site and message board is in no way a replacement for professional therapy, legal or medical advice.
Thank you all for your kind words and patience.
April 28, 2012 - 12:59pm — coffeeaddict66I was so exhausted last night, I don't think I have
slept that hard in years. I guess, as many of you mentioned it was that final release of emotion.
When I woke up this morning, the world truely looked so much brighter. Colors are so much more vibrant and it seems like it is actually easier to breathe.
It is a fresh start and I guess I had to get that last bit out. Thank you all for your encouragement.
Brighter days ahead to all of you!!
Coffee --It even tasted better this morning:)
CoffeeAddict
April 28, 2012 - 9:31am — Janie53Congratulations on your divorce. I personally don't know your story but know we are on this forum for the same reasons. You clearly have been through hell and now have the freedom to exit!
It must feel odd, we get used to the familiar. Take is slow, get to know yourself again. Learn your likes and dislikes. Think of something you want to learn about, even if simply by googling it. No race here. Be patient and gentle to yourself. You will like the changes.
"There are many things that can get you down, but there is only one that can keep you down is you! Life may not be great every second of the day, but there are seconds in the day that make life great. Focus on those seconds and they will become minutes, and those good minutes become hours... and remember we can train our brain to override the negative with the positive ~"
Stay true to you and I bet you'll like what you see!
Janie
It's a big hurdle you've
April 28, 2012 - 2:54am — JourneyIt's a big hurdle you've crossed, there is a lot of emotion in that. Crying is good for us, it is a release. Good for you for taking care of yourself today, a new hair do, shopping...
It is like the calm after the storm, after the anxiety has passed and now you are left with a new chapter which hasn't been written. That can be both a lonely and gratifying place.
My prediction is the days will get a lot brighter from here!! xo
Tears are healing and
April 28, 2012 - 2:33am — dulcinea441Tears are healing and sometimes we just need to let them flow. I still cry over the relationship with the narc even though I no longer love him. Those wounded inner recesses of the soul just take a long time to recover from all that abuse.
It's funny, because these days when I cry, I actually get this feeling in my chest like toxic waste is spilling out of my heart. It actually brings me relief, unlike in the past. There's a lot in there that still needs to be cleared, so I never pass up the opportunity to get rid of it with a good cry when the occasion arises!
Coffee, way to go. We have
April 28, 2012 - 1:39am — Done sourcingCoffee, way to go. We have been on the site approx the same amount of time, and here we are with new lives with the Narcs as gone as can be done.
Built up stress needs to be released, and even Done sourcing has done some crying these past couple of years. Feeling like it is day one doesnt mean you are ignorant or clueless as what the narc was. You also have done life for quite awhile without him in your life. You have come a long way already. You just got the official signal that it is over, even legally. Your first single weekend, and you can do what you want when you want with who you want...much has already unfolded for you, and more will...and you will have a good life with joy and peace. Easy does it!
ds
I have gone through divorce
April 27, 2012 - 9:57pm — bluegirlI have gone through divorce (going thru another) and N or not, it is just a sad day. I remember sitting and crying for hours after mine. It was cut-and-dried. He didn't even show up. I hated him, and he was a horrible human being I never wanted to see again.
Still, I sat and cried. I think we cry for what could have been, and what we thought was.
Well done you
April 27, 2012 - 6:20pm — BritTears are good, get it all out. Relief and release.
Now is your time, struggle over, happiness is what you deserve and it's all there waiting for you now.
Celebrating with you.
Brit x
GOOD FOR YOU!
April 27, 2012 - 6:11pm — Trainwreck56There have been times in my life, where I accomplished
something wonderful quite a few times, and I was worried and distraught If I could even do it! I did it!
WAY TO GO WOMAN!!! YOU DID IT!
CELEBRATE!
CELEBRATE THE TEARS OF JOY! VERY PROUD OF YOU!
HUGS AND BLESSINGS!!!! MEGA!
TW
congratulations
April 27, 2012 - 4:55pm — abrevaYou know why - don't you?
You are crying because you CAN.
It feels like Day 1 because it is.
Oh think they are tears of
April 27, 2012 - 4:46pm — HunterOh think they are tears of joy!!
You've been thru the ringer .. It's ok ..
Now it's time to live again ..
Hunter
You're right
April 27, 2012 - 4:59pm — coffeeaddict66I think you're probably right, but you know what...I don't have a clue how. I have been on a military mission to get myself through this and now that I have I don't have a clue what it means to "live".
I have been so focused, I have no friends or social life and I am clueless.
Its like I've been in prison with a life sentence and suddenly got released. Now what the heck do I do???
Pathetic isn't it???
coffeeaddict
April 28, 2012 - 4:07am — UsedYOU GET YOUR LIFE BACK AS I DID.....
I divorced myexnh after 31 years and thought NOW WHAT?...
I had no friends , no social life, and kids had left by then.....
I went back into the fray and made another life entirely....
8years later met the exn, but thats another story....
Dumped him, and have now settled for a contented happy life, and so will you coffeeaddict...
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR FREEDOM....OWN IT!!!!!!! IT IS YOURS NOW....X
you did what you had to do to accomplish your goal
April 27, 2012 - 10:48pm — abrevaI will not agree that it's pathetic.
i am proud of you
now go out there and live.
big smiles.
I understand. I almost wish
April 27, 2012 - 9:58pm — bluegirlI understand. I almost wish we knew if some of us were in the same area. It might help to get each other for simple things live dinners and movies, or walks in the park.
Well if your ever in Chicago
April 27, 2012 - 5:01pm — HunterWell if your ever in Chicago I'll take you out on the town.
" My kind of Town.. Chicago is "
Join some clubs
Hunter