One tool that can stop this is blocking and deleting his phone number.

Why do you still have it after a year?

They say women forget the pain of childbirth. They say any woman who could remember how painful it was to have a child would never have another one. They say we block the pain out.
`Course, kids are worth the pain they cause us (and not just at birth).
Narcs aren`t.
Kids are worth the pain they caused us because they carry our hope for a better future into the future. Narcs aren`t worth shit in hell because they fuck up both the past and the present on the basis of a future which is totally illusionary. All that pain and then no baby. No future, no hope, no nothing. Just a laughing narc on the retreat, and you with a big hole in your heart and no baby. No past, no future, no hope, no nothing.
Yeah, they play with our hopes for the future. Hope it`ll be better in the future. Maybe he`s changed. Maybe it was me. And they play with our investment in the present, too. They play with "Even if it`s phoney, let`s pretend, because I`m as horny as hell". They play with, "even if it`s phoney, I`m feeling unloved right now and even phoney love is better than nothing". They play with "Let`s pretend for a night that I`m loveable". Worse. They play with, "Let`s pretend for one night I`m something which could inspire the kind of devotion I DESERVE". Even worse. They play, "Let`s pretend I`m worthy of love" (and stop pretending in the morning). They play Let`s pretend I`m beautiful, desirable, sexy, irresistible - everything I want to be (and actually AM) and by pretending it, they can unpretend it, too - the next morning, when they D&D and ST us ( as so often before) suddenly we are no longer sexy, desirable, worthy oflove or even attention, we are northing. They make us everything first, and then they make us nothing.
I have been through this, I have felt it. I felt like everything when I believed myself loved and desired by him, and I felt myself nothing when he D&D`d me.
I will not go through this again. The pain was worth it when I had my children, there was a baby. With the narc, it was only pain and no baby.
Never again will I allow a man to control whether I feel like everything or nothing. Never again will I allow a man - or anyone else - to shape how I feel about myself.

I think you`re trying to con yourself. We all do. We want to re-write the past (get rid of red flags), change the present (so he`s the way he seemed at the start again) and dictate the future ("there must be SOME win after so much investment"). And when our insticts are screaming at us that this is not possible, and we don`t want to hear them, then we start conning ourselves (the way the mother of a serial killer might sob, "There must be some mistake. He was so sweet when he was a baby".) WE look only for a quick fix for our own immediate pain, not at the results.

So we go there for a night, con ourselves into believing we``re loved for a night, fuck our brains out for a night if we`re that way inclined (don`t forget they ENJOY disappointing us) and then get D&D`d even worse the next day. Pain all the way down the line, sweetheart. And no baby.
Forget it. Forget HIM. Do the work. And then look around for someone who deserves you, because he sure as shit doesn`t .....
Thinking of you

You felt all day like you wanted to pull your hair out and sratch your eyeballs out of your face.

Isn't this what we would can a RED FLAG?

I'm stunned.

Help us to help you. What are you thinking?

God bless,
Goldie

DON'T GO OVER THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GO NC, NEVER CALL HIM AGAIN!!!!!!!

DON'T CONSIDER ANOTHER MINUTE WITH HIM!

DON'T EXPLAIN SHIT TO HIM, GO NC...YOU MADE A MISTAKE..
THAT'S O.K.!

We will talk you out of it...DO YOUR REALLY WANT BACK ON THE ROLLER COASTER???????

HELL NO!

NCNCNCNC

TW

1 year and 43 weeks! What the hell am I missing for you to ask such a question?
And that is a rhetorical question! No need to respond.