Just finished having a real hard cry....not because I don't understand it all but geez its hard for me to believe after giving so much of myself out of all these years, 2 kids, stood by his side thru it all, ALWAYS accepted him back why I have been reduced to not even 1.00....I have 0.00 to my name....he's making sure he doesn't give me any money...doesn't mind buying takeout food but only if he's getting it for himself. He gave me $20.00 last week in which I bought $20.00 of food for the house with....its just sickening to me that he's gone out his way to make sure I dobt have anything....that's a long story within itself but I refuse to ask him for anything....id rather go without than ask him for anything....I'm currently still n the home so I've tried to remain civil/cordial....on way to pick up food this eve he had gone to mailbox in which I no longer have a key for. Our mail had already been seperated but I saw a card with a lady on front long hair....it was a Victoria's Secret

$10.00 off card sent to him (from VS co) saying happy bday his bday is on the
27th....so I ask him who's this for he's like idk...like really y would a man be receiving this VIA the mail again idk....grant it (it could be promotional as he insisted but we've been married 4yrs and in this house 4yrs together 9 NEVER NEVER has that ever happened not to my dad, brother etc.....) It just seems funny toe and all the emotions of what I'm vesting right into this storm with is staring me in my face....u guys r a great support system, I know what i need to do but its like gosh.....just let me peacefully go....he's already in his D&D phase even tho he denies it....(I suspect he is already dealing with some1 because he's password protected work/personal cells, changed login on cell phn accts and cc accts and email accts.....but blatantly won't admit it) that's because the least time he left me I found out VIA his cell phn...he left me for her and stayed with her for
2 years while I was taking care of our newborn daughter....long story short I am prepared for these next few weeks to be rocky....but I've been strong enough up until this point to not cry as much.....just be strong, stay focused, etc...but im stuck....3kids, my family has been helping me a little bit here/now...but its hard to realize that this is what it is.....but I'm sure of it....so keep me n ur prayers tonight whomever is up.....I'm bawling.....and extremely hurt....but i know I have to keep faith, stay focused and keep moving forward.....2 months r less to go.....where my world has to be drastically turned upside down, my kids lives turned upside down while he goes on/continue to live.....I know we will survive and I'm pretty much stronger than I've ever been thru this entire relationship....but the slugs just keep coming and coming and I cant find a job for the life of me so he likes that I'm penniless.....so sad, when at one point this was my KISA....drudgingly coming out pf thr fog!