Sounds like your N left you? If he moved out & took what he wanted in 24 hours & is not currently contacting you & asking you for money. If all this is true, then it seems that he doesn't want contact with you. Probably because he's got something else that's keeping him busy right now. If that fails, he may be back. So be careful.

The lawyer can make the financial negotiatons. I would advise that. A narcissist is not a person one wants to engage with in financial matters. They are con artists, liars, and break their word all the time. Now that YOU are of no use to him, he has no reason to be decent any more. This is when the wife sees the real man -- Mr. Hyde.

I left mine. No children. He replaced me the day I left. But he tried to remain in contact as a control thing & on the hopes he could get me back because NW did not want to buy my share of the house & the bank would not give him a mortgage. He wanted the house. In the end, his parents gave him cash to buy me out. Once the house was secured, he wanted a divorce & I heard very little from him. Uh, approximately 6 weeks after I told him I was leaving. I was no longer useful.

It is exactly three years since I left him. When I left him he was weeping that he was "finished with women." The next day he was madly in love & engaged to a NW whom he had really just met, living with her, even before our divorce. She left him after 10 months, and then he had another women within a month. What else? I have no idea. NC. He never thinks of me. Why should he? He never thought of me when I was there. Only how he could use me or how much money he could extract from me.

NC is really a state of mind. Even during the divorce, any necessary contact was not "engaging" him. I was so detached. I wanted no contact. I did not fall into the traps. I did not argue or accuse him of anything. He found other women. I was no longer useful.

There is always the option of having your lawyer do whatever negioation is necessary.
Stay true!

Janie

I have looked at that website, and find it interesting.

I think two people going through a divorce, need to just figure out how much contact makes sense. For some here on this site, they are ''low contact.'' Meaning, legal matters and matters dealing with the children, are discussed via email, etc. But unfortunately, when dealing with a narc, the narc may take those openings, to blast the soon to be ex. Insult, get enraged, be nice, etc. All in an attempt to get the soon to be ex back in the game.

If I were going through a divorce with a narc, I probably would only let him contact me via text. No email. Because someone typically won't drone on and on and on...via text. It's harder to do than email. But, that's just me. And if the person proved that he is going to use that as a means to harass me, I would go NC, and then work through the legal stuff through a lawyer. It's hard no doubt, I imagine...but, for one's sanity, that seems to be the wisest.

I don't think that baggagereclaim maybe understands that if you are divorcing an abuser/narcissist, then different rules may apply when it comes to NC.