The exbf was 6'2, beautiful brown eyed guy, impeccably dressed and groomed. I'm a pretty attractive 5'7 woman . I've seen pictures of his ex, she's pretty, I've seen his new wife's pic she's cute and petite. We all look different but attractive. I'm sure we sit there and compare ourselves to each other and that definitely effects self esteem, wondering if you are prettier than the OW. I don't think it even matters, they use anyone and everyone. Both my narc exes were handsome so I guess they all come in different forms. But whatever. They are jerks. Just like that.

A tall EXN? Lol! Mine was well over 6 foot , big build - reminded me of king kong! Beating his chest when things didn't go his way!
Seems to prefer petite ladies- guess that's to make him feel big and important looking down on what he considered his minions!
So sorry you were upset by seeing a picture :-(( you have no idea how much I tortured myself with FB for about a year after our break up- I knew I wasn't dealing with a normal person but was still clueless about N/P !

If you feel strong enough to deactivate FB even if it's temporary to allow yourself to heal first , there will come a point where you won't care who he is stood next to the poor woman is clueless like we were too!

Xx

I'm really sorry, I know that is a horrible feeling. When dealing with my ExN this is what I had to go through, all over town running into his exes and their family members. I couldn't even sit on my friggen porch without feeling invaded by his past. It used to make me sick, they were everywhere. Now I'm one of them, I hope it makes NS feel ill when she sees me and the trail of others all over town. Gross! It doesn't matter what they look like. You wouldn't feel any better is she was a toad like him. She won't be all smiley for long...

my Ex-narc about 5'9 sandy blond hair, bright blue eyes and very concerited about his looks. I'm a attractive 4"10 petite 98 lb women. I think that was one of the things my Ex-Narc mirror himself to me was the fact I took pride in taking care of myself and that when he tried to bring me down because he was alway trying to outshine me...so stupid! I was very supportive of him if he wanted to improve himself but I did't appreciate him trying to bring me down and trying to control me with his D&D.

I hate Facebook for those things that blindside us sometimes. I think I've blocked all mutual friends, and blocked him, and HIS WIFE, from seeing me or anything I post. But sometimes things catch you unawares and it's like a punch to the gut, and sends you reeling. Just be thankful it's not YOU in that picture with him!

By the way, my xN is a short little f*ker, too. 5'8" and about 150 pounds. He HATED that, as well as the fact that I'm the same height. He NEVER let me wear heels, the insecure bastard. I'm seeing that more and more often as a description of these guys. Their (lack of) stature must contribute greatly to their feelings of inferiority and feed the narcissism in them. "Little man" syndrome runs rampant among them. Very interesting!

Good job on posting here instead of doing something on Facebook that would have set you back!

Hugs!

THB