Boy did i break the rules

Boy did i break the rules
Posted April 25, 2012 - 9:25pm
0

I broke NC bigtime, just about every way you can break it. First he asked me to meet him for a steak dinner (which he did actually pay for). Weak, I accepted. He was acting to damn weird the whole time. It wasnt even like I ever knew this person. He wasn't charming, he kept making jokes about sex, and at one point I told him to cut it out, that I actually m issed sex. His response was 'I don't." Otherwise uneventful, he took me home, end of story.

Next night, he asks me to come over. All of a sudden after months of nothing he wants to have sex. So I did. And it was technically amazing, but not like it was before. in a weird way for me it provided closure. I realize it really HAD all been fantasy, and the reality didn't even begin to measure up. I know this would not work for hardly anyone, but for me, it ended it.

‹ He even has the OW harassing me... So it's Friday tommorrow, we need a narc challenge. ›
Dee30's picture

Bluegirl back to NC

April 26, 2012 - 11:07pm — Dee30

He just reeled you back in his game. *sigh* I've done that myself before. I'm not sure exactly if that would really bring you closure. I've done that same thing many months ago after our breakup and he wanted to reel me back in and i slept with him. It didn't bring closure. It kept me ADDICTED. No contact is a rule for a reason because they can easily fool you with a bunch of baloney and mixed messages and then wham! They have just gained a sweet dose of NS from you. NC is still something I've tried to stay strong to, but I've slipped up before too. It happens. Just dust yourself off and remain NC. The more you go back, he will make you more confused. Good luck xoxo

Tar Heel Blue's picture

Are you

April 26, 2012 - 8:46pm — Tar Heel Blue

really ready to end it??

How did having sex with him again put an end to it?

Seems like, to me, that the only message you gave him is that you're available anytime he needs a good fuck.

How in the hell did that tell HIM it was over??

Sorry, honey, but I don't think you're really ready to go NC and get over this loser.

We're here for you when you are.

THB

Hunter's picture

You sure did.. NC for

April 25, 2012 - 9:58pm — Hunter

You sure did..

NC for you..

Hunter

bluegirl's picture

Exactly! NC for me. Now to

April 25, 2012 - 10:01pm — bluegirl

Exactly! NC for me. Now to deal with the husband, who is not a Narc, but a mean son of a bitch in his own way

Deidre99's picture

I truly hope this brought

April 25, 2012 - 9:39pm — Deidre99

I truly hope this brought closure. I am worried for you though that you opened a Pandora's box and now he will think you are back in the game. It is nothing but a game. Just concerned for you. :(

bluegirl's picture

Thank you Dedre. I am too.

April 25, 2012 - 9:45pm — bluegirl

Thank you Dedre. I am too. Why isn't this hurting more yet? This was a couple of weeks ago, and I haven't even been tempted to call. Of course, I'm dealing with the breakup of my marriage as well, and there are many, many things I wish I could fix or take back there. The ex is being crueler than N ever was, and the problem is I keep telling myself I deserve it. Finally though, I said enough..enough of the namecalling, insults, vile language. My husband wasn't perfect and he contributed his part to the whole situation. Ii almost died (not a suicide attempt) and didn't really care if I had been saved or not It's been a rough couple of week, more than you can imagine, and more than I can write here, but I feel I can almost see that light at the end.

Deidre99's picture

You are going through a lot

April 25, 2012 - 10:01pm — Deidre99

You are going through a lot and you might be feeling numb at this point. Our brains can only process so much trauma. I would definitely keep nc with your ex N. He is just using you and always will. They tend to prey on vulnerable people. I am not sure about your ex husband. Maybe you could share your story here so we know how to best help.

bluegirl's picture

For certain reasons, I think

April 25, 2012 - 10:16pm — bluegirl

For certain reasons, I think that would be best done by private e-mail if anyone is willing to listen.

Movingforwardnow's picture

bluegirl

April 25, 2012 - 10:23pm — Movingforwardnow

you are welcome to PM anytime. I am willing to listen.

movingforwardmow