Just really wanted to say thank you to certain members on here who have been so supportive of me over the past 6 months.
My first posts were utter despair dotted with incomprehension. I was a complete shell. A zombie with no direction.
My recovery has been one step forward three steps back...mostly due to my lack of confidence in myself. My life has been filled with constant abuse and criticism and my way to escape was to behave better, protest less, try harder, apologize more.
Now for the first time in my life, (thanks in most part to some particular members here xx) I am starting to speak. Starting to speak my truth and then hopefully live it.
I also realize that whilst many may not agree with my ramblings, I never speak, either on here or in my every day life just to hear my voice and I do not come from an inflated or superior viewpoint, only from a caring, grounded and hopefully supportive angle.
I have also learned that not everyone will like me, maybe because they just don't or maybe because I may trigger feelings within an individual that they may not want to or are not ready to face...I know that this has happened to me on numerous occasions....it can be uncomfortable.
To truly look introspectively takes enormous courage...we don't often like what we see...but i sincerely thank those of you here who have helped me face my demons and most importantly are continuing to help me exorcise the N from my soul.
He is still there but I have hope that one day I'll be free again.
Best wishes and heartfelt appreciation,