I am pissed

I am pissed
Posted April 24, 2012 - 8:42pm
0

Ok. I was feeling good and then f-ing bam! During my relationship with narctard I had a gut feeling the whole time about him and my BEST FRIEND! I even mentioned it to him many times....always ended up in a fight. Of course my faul because I am insecure and blah, blah, mother fucking blah.

Needless to say prior to our relationship ending my friendship with her ended. the final D & D came the night before his 50th birthday. The ex best friend called him and of course he palyed it off as if it was innocent. I was done by this point. I AM NOT STUPID! They both are blocked on FB but there is one mutual friend (or so I thought was a friend) that he and I still have (Yes I have blocked this person now) but tonight on his (the mutual friend) FB he friended my ex best friend.

Long story short the whole group defriended her when I did and called her a crazy bitch balh, blah, blah...but my gut always told me there was something going on. The only connection between this mutual friend and my ex best friend is narc tard. Yes, this is no doubt his latest supply.

The thing that pisses me off is the fact that whenever I called him on his behavior with her he'd tell me I am crazy blah, blah, balh, and now it has all been revealed. So I am pissed at myself becuase I should have listened to my gut all along.

Yuck! I know hse will not be treated well. I know he will beat her, verbally abuse her, berate and belittle her so why do I care? I don't think I care, I think I am most upset because this was, she was, a thorn in my side during our realtionship and I was always made to feel like I was the crazy one, making shit up.

FUCK!

Sorry for the rant, but if you can't rant to your fellow survivors who can you rant to?

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eyeswideopen35's picture

Pretty much the same thing

April 25, 2012 - 11:52pm — eyeswideopen35

Happened with me too moving forward now. She wasn't my best friend but his co worker.
My gut instinct was screaming to me in the last month we were together. It was so strong I couldnt sake the feeling something had happened with them.
For a month everyday I asked him, he denied... He kept telling me I was insure and it was my issue, that he had no interest in her blah blah blah
But I still couldn't shake the feeling, I was even dreaming of them together most nights,
so after over a month he finally admits it, tells me he has no interest in her, but being with her made him feel alive and happy like he did when we first got together blah blah
We have been separated for three months now and I got curious at Easter time and looked as his Facebook and found out they are together! I was shattered, I clearly gave him too much credit!
I broke NC and msg him, I know bad move, but I wanted him too know I knew he was a lying cheating bastard! I was so angry, but now I think it's just clarified to me more who is really is and that I'm better off without him...
Lesson learnt ALWAYS lister to your gut...
And shopping ALWAYS equals PAIN

Redhead's picture

Had the same thing happen to

April 25, 2012 - 7:54am — Redhead

Had the same thing happen to me....she wasn't a best friend, but she and her now ex husband attended many dinners & parties at our house. She is no friend of yours & they both deserve each other!!

Cabo's picture

the gut feelings

April 25, 2012 - 5:30am — Cabo

I have learned a huge lesson in all of this - your gut is telling you something for a reason.... I will always listen from now on. It is there for a reason...

goldie's picture

MFN

April 25, 2012 - 1:07am — goldie

I mentioned this very thing in group last night. We often are not ready to accept the true extent of their vile corruption and lie's until we are out of it for awhile. I believe if we saw them for who and what they truly were while we were still in it we might snap and do something awful to them.

So better we realize and accept when we have some NC under our belts. They have NO conscience and lack remorse or guilt so I am not surprised by anything they do at this point. They do whatever they damn well please.

As for your friend, she thinks she pulled one over on you, and I am sorry to have to say this, and i know you are not a cruel person, but.........let's see who remains standing in this mix.

Get it out and then when you are done facing the truth, let it go........

They have each other now, yippee, let's see how that plays out.

Sorry you had to learn this, the truth does set us FREE.

God bless,
Goldie

Movingforwardnow's picture

I guess I need a kick in the ass....

April 24, 2012 - 9:17pm — Movingforwardnow

Hunter, Goldie, Lisa, Sparrow, Spinning, whoelse is good at the tough love? Give it to me!

Sparrow's picture

I'm confused? You claim he

April 24, 2012 - 9:38pm — Sparrow

I'm confused? You claim he will beat her and..............what is it you are missing? He is a horrible man and you know this as well as you know your own name. Be glad she is in the picture. Keeps him far away from you.

Your gut was most likely right. Trust it from here on out.

Be strong!

Movingforwardnow's picture

Thank you Sparrow

April 24, 2012 - 9:43pm — Movingforwardnow

I just had a lapse in judgment when I allowed it to upset me.

He will treat her no different then he treated me. Verbal Abuse, Fiancial abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse. She has to learn the lesson on her own.

Grateful tonight that it is no longer me and my children as witnesses.

I will trust my gut from here on out.

Thnak you for the reminder!

janemarie's picture

Not that you needed

April 24, 2012 - 9:01pm — janemarie

Not that you needed anymore...but here is some more validation for you of both him and her.....

Stay strong....you had a hunch all along...this is just a bump!!!!!

Keep fighting the fight....xoxo

Movingforwardnow's picture

janemarie

April 24, 2012 - 9:05pm — Movingforwardnow

UGH!

I just had to get it out on here so I don't allow it to consume me. Neither of them are worth the salt in my tears.

movingforward and onwards and upwords

thanks for the reminder to stay strong.

xoxoxo

Tar Heel Blue's picture

Anyone would be pissed

April 24, 2012 - 8:55pm — Tar Heel Blue

if they were going through what you are! We all understand your "rant" because we've had them ourselves, either privately or shared on this forum. Anger is healthy if you express it in a healthy way, as you have. Anger turned inward results only in depression and takes a toll on your health.

So get it out, girl! That's one of the steps we go through. We're here to support each other through them all.

As I've been told so many times by our sisters here, keep up the good work! You're getting better!

THB

Movingforwardnow's picture

THB

April 24, 2012 - 9:07pm — Movingforwardnow

Thanks for understanding. That is what is so great about this forum. Any one of us could post about anything and someone on here gets it.

Amazing.

Thnaks for your support.
mfn

Layla's picture

The depths of their depravity know no bounds.

April 24, 2012 - 8:55pm — Layla

What is done in the darkness will always come to light.

And the light shines on, doesn't it? And it's not pretty.

Everything about these PDs is immoral, and disgusting.

Keep moving forward sister! You are doing great! Feel your feelings, get them out, and keep one foot in front of the other the whole while. You'll get out of the muck.

love~ Layla

Movingforwardnow's picture

Thanks Layla...

April 24, 2012 - 9:09pm — Movingforwardnow

I figured it'd be best to get it out here instead of getting it out on his brand new truck or her f-ing ugly face.

So post away is my answer.

NCNCNCNCNNC

Tar Heel Blue's picture

We don't want you to get arrested

April 24, 2012 - 9:24pm — Tar Heel Blue

for going all "Carrie Underwood" on his pretty little souped up four wheel drive! (But thinking about it is gratifying, isn't it?)

Now, after you've got that image in your head, let it out. And don't give the mf-ing loser any more of your energy, turn that energy inward and focus on yourself.

It's all going to click into place for you, and you won't give a shit about him anymore, someday. I'm working on that, too.

THB

Movingforwardnow's picture

LOVE THAT SONG

April 24, 2012 - 9:33pm — Movingforwardnow

Lewisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a whole in all four tires, carved my name in his leather seats....something like that. Just picturing myself doing that feels good.

Thanks.

Or, of course, there is the infamous needing2know going rambo on his ass with a paintball gun! Either of those would work right now....but I will just picture it, laugh at it and then provide myseld with some self-loving thoughts.

It's all good. Don't need either of them. They both just caused me constant anxiety.

She cleans houses as a part time job and he use to say clean mine naked and I will pay you double. (the house was really ours as I was paying 3/4 of the mortgage)And then of course he'd say he was just kidding and can't I take a joke? Man I have some serious issues because I am not letting him be him blah, blah, blah,....I think that was lecture number 212.

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tar Heel Blue's picture

I adopted that song as my athem

April 24, 2012 - 9:43pm — Tar Heel Blue

and my fantasy! For a few days, I'd crank it up in my car on my way to and from work, and sing along as loudly as I could, sometimes with tears running down my face. But eventually, I was singing along with a smile, so I must be getting stronger. You're right, just thinking about doing those things feels good.

You're rid of them, and fuck 'em both. You're doing great.

Janie53's picture

Rant away! You figured it out

April 24, 2012 - 8:45pm — Janie53

Rant away! You figured it out so that is what is important. You are moving forward!
Stay true!

xxxooo

Movingforwardnow's picture

I figured it out a long time ago...

April 24, 2012 - 9:02pm — Movingforwardnow

Just one more thing I tucked away, hid my head in the sand about, ignored, denied when I knew better.

He always said his "MO" was he needs to feel like the rescuer....his way of gaining control. When I met him I was going thorugh a rough spot but climbed my way out and became his equal, financially, socially etc and that threatened his precious f-ing ego and that's when the shit started. He soon realized i was not going to be bossed around or controlled. i am a strong, independent woman. He couldn't handle that. he needs "a wounded bird" those our his words. Well this ex best friedn is a wounded bird. Not very educated, welfare, and has never been faithful to anyone relationship she has ever had. Has a son my oldest age, they were friends for awhile but her son is very anti social and my boys aren't so the friendship fizzled. Anyways my exN hated her kid and always made fun of her....nice body but not so much in the face. He'd refer to her as "butter face" He always told me he likes to rescue women and then when he is perceived as the wonderful rescuer he moves on to his next victim. Dumbass movingforwardnow thought I'd be different. NOPE! He is onto his next conquest. Way to go...be the hero,,,but I am onto you NARCASS!

Tar Heel Blue's picture

His MO?

April 25, 2012 - 7:59am — Tar Heel Blue

What a ass. He actually BRAGGED about how he uses and abuses women?? That's an all-time low. I think I'm gonna throw up.