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Hoovering Includes Suicidal Ideation?
SkinnyBuffalo
Member since:
1 year 10 weeks
1 year 10 weeks
Last activity:
23 weeks 4 days
23 weeks 4 days
Hoovering Includes Suicidal Ideation?
Posted April 24, 2012 - 5:45pm
Day 4 hoover text from him - pages and pages of how he's ill, can't take care of our dog, can't reach out to anyone else, can't pay bills, and he's thinking of killing himself....I'm of course both the cause and the solution to this.
Anyone ever dealt with that severe a response to NC? I know they say that a Narcissistic Crisis can sometimes bring people into treatment. I don't know what to do, but it's definitely working it's magic on me. He doesn't have a relationship with his family (of course) and I don't have a way to contact them since I've never met them.
I have to stay mad at him for deceiving and using me and realize this is just a grand finale attempt. But then there's the man in there I would and have done anything for...
© E. Scott Enterprises | Lisa E. Scott
We are not certified mental health professionals and this site and message board is in no way a replacement for professional therapy, legal or medical advice.
Mine used:" MY MOTHER HAS ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE"
April 25, 2012 - 4:49pm — Trainwreck56TACTIC...TALKED TO EVERY ONE HERE ABOUT IT, HE LEFT A VM..DID NOT RESPOND, THEY WILL USE ANY THING TO TRY TO GET YOU TO RESPOND....
IT WAS ALL LIES AND BULLSHIT, TROLL NARC PSYCHO MOTHER HAD A KIDNEY STONE, I KNOW A LOT ABOUT MEDICINE AND PSYCH ISSUES-MY LINE OF WORK! AFTER I HEARD THAT, I KNEW HIS GAME PLAN, NCNCNCNC! WHO CARES ABOUT EITHER OF THEM!
I FOUND OUT FROM SOME ONE HE KNOWS, WHO CAN'T STAND EITHER
OF THEM WHY SHE WAS HOSPITALIZED!
USED MOMMY TO TRY TO MAKE ME BREAK NC!
I DID NOT BUDGE, DONT EVER BREAK NC!
HUGS
TW
Since you're only on day 4
April 25, 2012 - 1:21pm — Deidre99Since you're only on day 4 when this text came in, I understand you not changing your number at that point. But, as you can see, he will stop at nothing to get your attention.
Hoovering really isn't flattering. Now that I have a lot of time into NC, I can say...it's rather unflattering. It basically means, 'I have no one else to bother, so tag you're it!' Yuck.
Sort of like being in the relationship with them still, lol but you're not.
We are all compassionate here, and I do take cries for help seriously. But, I'd change your phone number, for I can see more and more of these nonsense texts coming your way...to get you all fired up, worried, etc. With the ultimate design to be to get you to break NC.
That's their mission. Their only mission.
Stay strong!
Suicide
April 24, 2012 - 8:53pm — Janie53In all due respect, narc or not, I think if someone says they are suicidal, it is not our place to judge if it is valid or not. You have a responsibility as a responsible humnan being to call 911 and let professionals assess the situation.
Suicide
April 25, 2012 - 12:35pm — HunterSuscide threats in a narc world are just that ...threats..
Typically a suicidal person just does it quietly ..
A narc is looking for attention and supply.. It's also a way to control you..
Don't fall for the Bull Shit...
Hunter
Totally Hunter.. Anyone I
April 25, 2012 - 2:16pm — Im_always_fineTotally Hunter..
Anyone I know who committed suicide didn't warn anyone because they didn't want to be stopped.
Threats of suicide are MANIPULATION. "If I threaten suicide I will spur this person into action proving that I have CONTROL over them to MAKE them DO for me.
Im_always_fine, but sometimes
April 25, 2012 - 2:31pm — CeeCeeIm_always_fine, but sometimes it is a cry for help and if someone doesnt help the person they feel uncared for and they actually do it. That was the case with my friends boyfriend. He threatened her a couple of times and she thought it was an act, but then found him hanging in the basement :( It was tragic
Sheesh...he's ripped a page
April 24, 2012 - 8:43pm — Im_always_fineSheesh...he's ripped a page out of my NARC's book....word for word... verbatim. This is not a "severe" response. It's a CLASSIC text book narc tactic. Same shit...different pile.
This is the same song and dance the NARC has used on his X wife. The dog is sick, I'm sick, I have no friends, I think I'll kill myself, no one would miss me anyways yadda yadda.
Same song and dance he used on the X before that.
Same song and dance he used on me the first time we split.
If they can't appeal your love for them, they appeal to you compassion for a fellow man.
Next he'll have cancer.
I'm not sure why his problems are yours?
He's NOT going to kill himself and separate himself from the world where he gets so much attention.
Hunters suggestion is
April 24, 2012 - 8:13pm — Deidre99Hunters suggestion is perfect...call 911. Doubt he will bother u with that anymore. Narcissists typically don't commit suicide. I would change my phone number or block his. We all have compassion but he is looking to use you. Like a poison...even a drop can hurt you. I would change your number.
I agree with Hunter. Call 911
April 24, 2012 - 8:06pm — Blue MoonI agree with Hunter. Call 911 and say he is suicidal.If he really is, the burden is off of you and the professionals and he will get the attention he needs. My exNH did the same. In his case, it was purely manipulative. It worked in the beginning. When I started calling 911 instead of running back to him, he stopped it.
That's what I will do then.
April 24, 2012 - 9:06pm — SkinnyBuffaloThat's what I will do then. He's still alive - cause he texted me again later. But if I get that threat again I will. I wish I could change my number, but I'm self-employed and my cell is also my business number. I can also not respond. Changed his name in my contacts to "Do Not Answer".
Thank you all...
Call 911 and then block his
April 24, 2012 - 9:09pm — Janie53Call 911 and then block his number. This will not alter your business. Any phone number can be blocked!
meant to say is on the
April 24, 2012 - 8:10pm — Blue Moonmeant to say is on the professional
Call 911 .. Tell them he's
April 24, 2012 - 6:59pm — HunterCall 911 .. Tell them he's threatening suicide..
He will stop..Boderlines do attempt suicide ..
Narc ,not likely too vain..it's a way to control
Hunter
Your post is so similar to
April 24, 2012 - 6:22pm — CeeCeeYour post is so similar to mine it's eerie. I am new here and I personally am not fully understanding hoovering, because to me it seems that hoovering would be when someone lays on the charm to get us back but can it also be a negative way of trying to get someone back, could that too be a "hoover" ?
Ceecee
April 24, 2012 - 7:02pm — HunterA Hoover is a supply attempt.. It can be positive or negative it can even be indirect thru friends etc..
It's a way to keep you in the game a way to maintain control..
NC it the only option when dealing with these nut jobs.. It's sends a strong message. To go away..
Goldie have a few excellent blogs regarding hoovering ..
Hunter
CeeCee, The way I understand
April 24, 2012 - 6:37pm — SkinnyBuffaloCeeCee,
The way I understand it, and I'm relatively new too, is that a hoover is like a Hoover (vacuum cleaner) - anything that is used to suck you back into the relationship. It could be charm, but if that didn't work, sometimes it can be scare tactics, kids or pets, material possessions, or total decompensation on their part. Whatever they think will get attention and cause us doubt about our decision to leave.
Did your N threaten to kill himself as well? How did you respond?
Welcome, btw - I hope you find this site and the people here as enormously helpful as I have.
My
April 25, 2012 - 1:56am — sweetpeasarahex, did the same..said he'd taken an overdose, of course at the time i was'nt educated in narc 'traits'., so i responded to him as anyone would, it turned out to be a big fat lie. But, as Hunter and other's say, its not to be taken lightly, call 911, let them deal with him.
xx
When my NARC threatened
April 24, 2012 - 8:49pm — Im_always_fineWhen my NARC threatened suicide. I told him,"Well use a hose and a car exhaust...it's neater. Shooting yourself or cutting your wrists will make a mess that someone will have to clean up...and you've been enough trouble all ready!"
Oh he raged. How could I be so cruel when is in so much pain.
Pppht...he's still alive.