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A morning from Hell
Grymel
Member since:
1 year 19 weeks
1 year 19 weeks
Last activity:
11 weeks 2 days
11 weeks 2 days
A morning from Hell
Posted April 23, 2012 - 11:41am
10 phone calls in less than an hour…I was shaking like a scared mouse every time I saw his number. When I finally picked up he said that he wants to see his daughter. He cancelled his visitation yesterday supposedly because of work and now is demanding to see his baby today at his convenience. When I told him I have to abide by the court rulings (he has 2 hours on Sundays) he went ballistic. Started saying “When I left you I thought I knew who you were but now I don’t know you. You are a bad person”. And then the yelling, screaming and swearing began until I hang up the phone. Then he called again and again…I did not pick up and send calls straight to voicemail. He then texted me that he will see me at the babysitter today. I almost fainted when I saw the text…I know my rights and I know I can call the police however, I still feel so scared…and I AM TIRED…almost on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I really don’t know what to do anymore?
Grymel
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We are not certified mental health professionals and this site and message board is in no way a replacement for professional therapy, legal or medical advice.
Fear
April 26, 2012 - 2:26pm — agnesmurphy17I don't know why you are afraid of this man. And you say you know your rights. Seems to me that a man who logs 10 calls in 60 minutes is being abusive. Going to a child minder who does not know him to "check up" on condition is controlling.
You need to talk to your lawyer about a restraining order which minimizes contact. Not allowed to call you. He can be confined to contact e-mail & only about the child. You can get a special e-mail account only for him ourbabynameetc@gmail.com Never use the account for anybody or any thing but him. The you have total control as to when you will be exposed to him.
A visitation order that allows drop offs & pick ups at a police station. Usually occurs in the parking lot. Minimizes drama & nasty verbal exhanges. The babysitter may want to weigh in on this RO & have him kept away from her place too.
Sorry. Dump your sister. She will not help you. She's been snookered by him. She's your sister & you love her & you two can be pals. BUT, she's useless to you in this situation. Sigh. We all have our faults. SO do not ask for her help any more. The betrayal there must have been awful.
And why did you stick around? Just take your baby. If he forbid it, then just leave. Go to the curb & phone the police immediately.
Grymel
April 23, 2012 - 2:55pm — Janie53Another important issue you are facing in addition to the custody and legality logistics, is your emotional health. I know it is terribly difficult to navigate through the hell thrown to you by the narc and raising your young kids. This is when you need to be pro-active and ask for help from friends, family, whoever you are comfortable with. You have to take care of yourself so you can be the best mama you possibly can.
Please, stay true to you.
Your kids need you.
xxxooo
Janie
Grymel
April 23, 2012 - 2:01pm — Jar of heartsI'd definitely go with the advice of telling the police! He doesn't have a leg to stand on with regards him breaking the visitation agreement - that's his loss!
And the " I thought I knew you blah, blah, blah" is usual crap they come out with to raise a reaction out if you to try defend yourself but you don't need to you have done nothing wrong and do NOT need to be intimidated and threatened by him!
Please inform the police , change your number and communicate via e mail only I've found mine less aggressive when it is written In black n White xx
If your scared of him.. Do
April 23, 2012 - 12:44pm — HunterIf your scared of him.. Do you really think its safe to put your Child in his custody....
If he makes you feel bad don't you think this behavior will be passed to your child..
This behavior needs to be documented .. you must protect yourself and your child..
Hunter
Thank you
April 23, 2012 - 2:01pm — GrymelI am documenting everything. I talked to my lawyer and he says the same thing if he gives me any hassle i will call the police. I am trying to protect my child the best way I can...the only problem is that we are in the divorce process and all these orders are temporary. The judge assigned to this case is a firm believer that all parents should have the right to be with their children not matter what and she granted him visitation on a trial basis and as you can see he is not following rules. I am just documenting and hoping that he backs off. I am a fierce animal when it comes to protecting my children and I will not let this coward trample all over me. Thanks again.
Grymel
Refuse to answer him
April 23, 2012 - 2:54pm — HunterRefuse to answer him verbally.. Email will allow easy documentation..
Hunter
GrymelHappy
April 23, 2012 - 12:28pm — Janie53First, please try to relax because you won't be able to think clearly otherwise. It sounds to me as if he is threatening you and I would alert the police so you have this on record. You have done absolutely nothing wrong; he cancelled the visit not you. He is using the baby solely to scare and control you.
Do not answer the phone; let all messages go straight to VM. I would think any communication regarding your child should be done via e-mail which will allow you to maintain copies of all correspondence.
I'm sorry you have to go through this.
Thinking of you!
Stay true!
Janie
If he
April 23, 2012 - 11:52am — sweetpeasarahshows up call the police! In fact it probably would be a good idea to call them and tell them anyway.
Both of you have to adhere to the court rulings, he cant just swop things round to suit him.
Dont put youself or your daughter through it hun, inform the police.
Stay safe
Hugs
xx
I failed....he showed up to
April 23, 2012 - 5:14pm — GrymelI failed....he showed up to babysitter demanding to see in what conditions she had the baby....she told him she did not know him and if he did not leave she was going to call the police and then I showed up and I engaged......will tell rest later I'm in turmoil. And writing from mobile right now.
Grymel
Yesterday
April 24, 2012 - 10:36am — GrymelI was so angry at myself yesterday. I told him that he had not right to be there and that I was going to call the police and he said go ahead. I had called my sister earlier to join me at the babysitter; I thought that by having her with me he was going to back off. When I was about to call the police she showed up and he just started to project blame and play victim. She was giving him the time of the day by trying to reason with him and telling that his behavior wasn’t helping him with the baby, blah, blah. I kept telling my sister lets go and she just keep listening to all his bull. His OW said something that triggered me and I responded to her letting her know that I had no issues with her and she kept defending and justifying his actions. They both kept at it telling my sister God knows what about me...I couldn’t deal with it and got into the the car with the baby until my sister decided that he was calmed. He knows how much I hate drama and he made a public scene. People walking by were looking at us and I gave him the satisfaction because I was afraid. Today I decided to regroup, learn from my mistake. I know what needs to happen and I will follow thru this time.
Thanks for your support,
Grymel