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i avoid going to places where he can be, i am scared to run into him..
flowers
Member since:
1 year 4 weeks
1 year 4 weeks
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46 weeks 3 days
46 weeks 3 days
i avoid going to places where he can be, i am scared to run into him..
Posted April 22, 2012 - 8:15am
we live in the same town, and since he broke up with me 3 months ago, we have not talked to each other, did not have any forms of contact. he is the one avoiding to talk to me- a kind of ST again. (NC from my part for 1 month now)
Right now, i am not ready to see him again, so i am avoiding to go to places where i know he can be hanging out.
Did anyone of you been through this? what am i supposed to do?
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This takes time!!!
April 22, 2012 - 3:13pm — janemarieWe worked out at the same gym....shopped at the same food stores...so yes Ive been and still go through this....
It took me about 4 months of NC before I went to the gym...I would go feeling ready for the run-in...other times Id go and feel like a tiny mouse waiting to see the cat....other times Id go and feel so anxious I would leave after 10 minutes...
Baby steps....some days you feel good and strong so you venture out....on days you feel weak...stay home...
Listen to yourself....
Its been 7 months since Ive seen him..just saw his truck driving next to me on the highway for the first time the other day....it sent a hot flash through me, heart palputations and tunnel vision, but i got through it...and I feel now that if it happens again...ill be better...
Its all about time passing, and living through it...
Just listen to yourself...and let yourself guide you
I still look over my shoulder as Im driving...cant help it...but its not as constant as it was...like all the other shit we have faced, it fades with time...
Sorry you have to deal with this too....it totally sucks!!!
xoxo
Yes, I totally know where you
April 22, 2012 - 2:01pm — rebuildingmysoulYes, I totally know where you are coming from. He is my neighbor, lives right across the street from me, and I have to put up a mental blind everyday, which is by far the hardest thing to do. Always wondering about other women, and what not... hear his truck all the time, at all hours of the night. Its awful, but I will get past it. I am fine when I am not home, but as soon as I drive on our street, I get a sick feeling. I found out he is moving... right down the effin' road... that's it. Right down the road. Unreal. Anyway, we also have many mutual friends that I now know I have to let go of, even though I am bound to see him at some point. But I am avoiding all places he might be at for the time being until hopefully in a couple of months I will be indifferent. The summer is coming up, and I am not going cut myself short from enjoying it because I have to avoid a critter, but for the time being is the best thing for me right now. We are better then these people and we shouldn't have to avoid the public because of them... we will get past this!
Omg this is so what I'm doing
April 22, 2012 - 2:00pm — tootsgeeOmg this is so what I'm doing an have been doing for four months... He moved across the road and I get v anxious about running into him. I prepare myself everytime I go outside but I hope that one day it won't matter.... I avoid him too because I don't want more hurt I think tw's bunker mentality is a good analogy it's keeping ourselves safe. I hope it won't last forever and I do struggle with it cos I feel I should be stronger but it is what it is just now! Xx
I know how you feel! Mine
April 22, 2012 - 2:05pm — rebuildingmysoulI know how you feel! Mine lives across the street from me as well... it sucks!!!! Just passing him while driving makes me sick... but TW's bunker mentality is the right thing to do for now.
Bunker it up people!
April 22, 2012 - 2:22pm — Trainwreck56Thank God that bastard does not live across the street!
MY X-PSYCHO NARC lives 8 blocks away, UGH.......
IGNORE HIM...I'M NOT MOVING, HE CAN GO TO HELL, he lives with
MOMMY-NARC! LOL
IT SUCKS WHEN THEY LIVE CLOSE BY! IF HE TRIES TO OFFER YOU THE FRIENDSHIP CARD---IGNORE AND WALK AWAY!!!
PSYCHOS IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD, IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD!
UGH... NCNCNCNC
TW
I plan to look straight
April 22, 2012 - 2:29pm — tootsgeeI plan to look straight through him I'll never speak to that piece of shit again! NC all the way! Xx
I was just having this
April 22, 2012 - 11:39am — SparrowI was just having this conversation earlier in the week and count my blessing that mine lived clear across the country. Makes it much easier to work through the steps for sure.
You are doing the best thing you can be doing. Avoid the places he frequencies. Find new places to hang out, make new friends, create new interests. It is difficult, I am sure, but it must be done.
Great job staying NC and avoiding these places! Keep up the good work!
Avoid any and all place he may hang out at!
April 22, 2012 - 8:57am — Trainwreck56I don't go the neighborhood bar we hung out at, the owner
knows why, and is very sympathetic to my feelings, everyone there asks about me!
I use the bunker mentality, I will not give him any access
to me at all! Nor do I desire to see him, if you should
run into him, walk away in silence!
DO NOT ENGAGE HIM, PERIOD!
He did try to confront me face to face about 5 weeks ago,
I left him with the words "If you don't leave me alone, I will get the LAW involved"!
So I have been good since then, lots of hoovering attempts,
BUT I WONT CAVE IN, 85 Days NC...IT WORKS!
Peace and Hugs.
NCNCNCNC
TW
i am sure
April 22, 2012 - 11:31am — flowershe will not talk to me, because right now he is avoiding me at all cost. he was the one to break up and the first one to stop talking.. but i am scared of what my reactions will be.. i dont want to freeze, or to panick or to run away crying but am not sure of being able to maintain an apropriate composure if i run into him somewhere..
Flowers, I dont think you will scream, freeze or panic!
April 22, 2012 - 11:39am — Trainwreck56Just show no emotion, and don't speak to him! That's supply!
That day will come, when It happened to me-I was dreading it and knew it would happen, I just held my head up and sucked
in my gut and did what I had to do!!
You will do the same, and it will make you feel GREAT!
Knowing that your saying, no more, no way and no how!
HUGS, You will persevere!
TW
thx TW
April 22, 2012 - 11:44am — flowersdreading that day too, but as you said, that day will come..thanks for the encouragement
Flowers
April 22, 2012 - 8:27am — Janie53Yes, I too, live in the same community as my psychopath. Not only was I paralyzed by the fear of running into him, I avoided all the places we went to together.
I had a choice, I could remain a prisoner in my home or I could take the step and rejoin my community. He has stolen enough from me. I do avoid certain places I know he frequents, why make myself uncomfortable. We are members at the same gym and I have seen him, well, not really, he is invisible to me now.
It's a mind set. Give yourself some time. If you think that seeing him would cause you to break NC, then yes, you have to carefully micro manage your where abouts. Eventually, he will become invisible to you as well.
Stay true toy you and it will all fall into place!
Janie