I'm reading a good book "Women Who Love Too Much". When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He'll Change. By Robin Norwood.
This book is awesome, if any of you can get your hands on it do get it. The problem is not all the men, the problem is also us and why we end up with these kind of men.
I've noticed that alot of the posts are from women who have alot in common with me, the way we think. Good, caring women who thought they could make a difference in the Narcs life, that we could "fix" them, make them happy, save them from themselves. By concentrating on them we were avoiding dealing with ourselves.
We should have been changing ourselves, not them. Changing them or anyone for that matter is hopeless. We can only change ourselves.
I can't speak for any of you, but I can speak for myself and I did enter my relationship with baggage from my childhood, an alcoholic mother and a distant, unavailable father.
I'm not blaming my parents or my childhood but I am saying that it helped form me into the person I am and that in turn made me stay with a man "I had to make love me". I felt that if my parents couldn't love me and if he couldn't love me than no one could.
Am I in the minority as far as coming from a dysfunctional family? How many of you came from stable families and entered into your relationship with the Narc with self-esteem and really liked yourself before the Narc started sucking the life out of you?