Blue Moon's Story

Day 5

I was married to an N for 10 years and after an incredible amount of drama and pain (all kinds of abuse), he left me although he proceeded to drag me through years of litigation for custody and defraud me of marital assets. The financial and emotional repercussions have been staggering. And he is keeping it coming. Meanwhile, he is doing extremely well and remarried. It took me more than 2 years to date after my divorce. I met someone that I dated for nearly 3 years. He was much more reserved and emotionally contained then my raging ex-husband. But soon the lies came. And the distancing. And the criticism. And the cheating. My therapist said that I managed to do it again. My worst nightmare as I thought I learned my lesson. Another N! I can't believe it. I'm not a stupid woman in any other area of life. I don't know how this happened. We were ready to move in together and he suddenly left me. Was kind enough to shoot me a text when I wondered why he wasn't picking ad a phone up my calls. "I think it is over between us. I'm sorry." Out of nowhere. Some time later he brought himself to tell me by phone that he just didn't think he loved me enough to marry me and that is what he should be doing. Although he loved me. What? I suspect an ex returned. Or he was perturned that I had been becoming wise to his lying. I don't know but it was a sudden ice cold slap in the face. Hurt so much. I was also close to his kids and my kids close to his also. I'm day 5 NC. Just hurts so much. I have been having bad dreams. I don't even know what the heck happened. He said maybe I was too perfect, my ex husband was a liability, etc. etc. Nothing making sense. After three years and begging me back? What just happened?