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Ok girls
Snowflake
Member since:
1 year 18 weeks
1 year 18 weeks
Last activity:
6 days 21 hours
6 days 21 hours
Ok girls
Posted April 18, 2012 - 2:34pm
Here we go again.
NC starts now..but tomorrow I will call day 1.
Today is day 0, the lovely people on here have given me feedback, I have had a 1-1 with Goldie to talk through things, I am now going to reread T Sheridan book..because Lisas is on my computer so harder to keep 'private'..and I have had a good think about everything.
About the N email conversations..
And he doesnt care about me
Its throwing a crumb out
Like the boring bird but you have a spare minute in the park
Chuck a crumb, if it takes it chuck another
If it doesnt move on your way.
Thats how I have been treated.
And I just need to sort it out now..I really didnt think I would go back, but the sorry tempted me. Wont fall for that one again x
© E. Scott Enterprises | Lisa E. Scott
We are not certified mental health professionals and this site and message board is in no way a replacement for professional therapy, legal or medical advice.
Good for you!
April 19, 2012 - 9:42am — dazedNot a girl and haven't been confused for one. Well, actually there was this time.....oh, never mind. Haha.
Anyway, good for you going NC again. You are not a failure if you keep at this thing. Persevere and the greatest of rewards, getting yourself back, will be yours!
Ha ha
April 19, 2012 - 11:16am — SnowflakeHi Dazed :) really pleased you havent been confused for girl..you're an honorary girl here anyway lol...
Dazed...I think there is a
April 19, 2012 - 11:14am — TNR1Dazed...I think there is a side of you that you haven't shared yet...pictures are always welcome. :)
Snowflake...it's all good...many of us had to put our hand on the stove one or two or several more times to figure out that it burns. The important thing is to take what you have learned and apply it so that you can move forward with NC a stronger person.
HUGS.
TNR
April 19, 2012 - 11:19am — SnowflakeThere's been many a stove, smiling..good that we can all smile together anyway, this forum is a lovely place..
x
Blind Freddy could see how
April 19, 2012 - 7:23am — bgirlBlind Freddy could see how serious I was about being with my N. I can only remind you of what you stand to lose if you continue to remain in contact with this man.
Your marriage.
Your family home.
Your place within your family and your workplace and community.
Now for me none of the above will ever be the same. Ever.
Another thing...my N was in a position of power for a respectable organisation and was my daughter's coach for 1yr prior to making his move. During this lead up he was flawless and gained the trust of our entire family. He duped us all and we thought we 'knew him.'
Just ask yourself how well do you know this guy and are you willing to risk all of the above to stay in contact/in the game with him?
For me my cards were on the table. You say we all have choices...we do. We may not be able to choose our feelings but we can choose to make a concerted effort to CHANGE OUR PATH SO AS TO increase the possibility that our feelings may eventually change for the better....be more evolved, more complex more fulfilling...
This is hard. I did not want to blow the whole thing out of the water..i wanted to be with him..this is absolute.
What i DID do however wad do what was RIGHT....right for my children and my husband.
At the time it wasn't what i wanted...I WANTED HIM! I wasn't even aware of narcissism or psychopathy until I was CRIPPLED WITH PTSD AND SUICIDAL IDEATION AND SOUGHT PROFESSIONAL HELP.
You know what this guy is. You need to really think about what you believe is right and then ACT on these beliefs. This has to come from deep within and i have faith you can find it in yourself.
It will hurt...lord knows i'm still in pain and i may not be on my feet yet but i'm not face down on the floor either....so what will it be for you???
Lots of love.
X
B
Thankyou Bgirl
April 19, 2012 - 7:27am — Snowflakefor believing in me, for me its no contact and getting used to the idea of never seeing him/talking to him again.
You are right I have a ton to lose and it really is that v the addiction..
So its day 1 again
April 19, 2012 - 4:45am — SnowflakeAnd I dont feel like doing it, I really dont.I am trusting Goldie that you done feel like it at the beginning..I know I have been here before but it just feels worse..
The blank emails..I let him in so he could d and d me and its not a nice way to feel..
Why are you fixating on
April 19, 2012 - 6:42am — RenegadeWhy are you fixating on emails from someone who's too lazy to form written sentences? Ooooooooh blank emails - he's a real man of mystery, that one. Did he sign them "Night Hawk" or "Ninja"?
There is a lot of comedy to be had at their expense you know! :D
Renegade
April 19, 2012 - 8:43am — SnowflakeLaughing..you are right, thanks hon x
Hahahaha that's funny!
April 19, 2012 - 8:16am — LaylaHilarious!!!!!
love~ Layla (AKA "Dark Shadow")
My Handle for Email Mind Fuckery Is (drum roll please).........
April 19, 2012 - 8:20am — Renegade"Iron Maiden"
Keep positive Snowflake
April 19, 2012 - 6:37am — julesuklike you I'm starting NC again (day 3 now). It will get easier day by day we both know we are way too good for this shit.
Try not to be too hard on yourself you are only human. We are so lucky we have found this awesome forum and really educated ourselves on what we have been dealing with.
I find exercise and Zumba classes really lift me up at the moment and just trying to keep busy.
NC WITH A VENGEANCE!!
XX
Hey you go girl
April 19, 2012 - 6:42am — SnowflakeZumba..god it makes me tired just watching it lol..they do water zumba now I believe in some places too..
Its a killer restarting and my head feels filled with stupid questions so if I start posting stupid things, please bear with me its hopefully just a phase :)
Aqua Zumba
April 19, 2012 - 6:53am — julesukyes done that as well and its really good fun.
You keep posting Snowflake its obviously helping you. I don't normally get much time to get online during the day but I think at the moment this NC thingy needs to take priority.
My head is also spinning with it all. I just want to lose that heavy heart feeling I have been carrying around for too long.
XX
HEy that's great. go girl!
April 18, 2012 - 4:46pm — tootsgeeHEy that's great. go girl! (()) xx
By the time I came to this site...........
April 18, 2012 - 2:49pm — LaylaI had taken the PD back so many times in 8 years I KNEW he would never change! Coming here was an education in what PDs are and what they do from those that have lived it, just as I have.
Nothing the mods have ever posted here all the time I have been here have ever been a mis-truth and I have NEVER seen any member get back with their PD and come back and tell us all how wrong we were. Not once.
No Contact is TRULY the only way we will move on from these clowns. That's not some bullshit because we can't come up with any other way...it truly IS THE ONLY WAY THAT WORKS!
: )
love~ Layla
Layla
April 18, 2012 - 2:56pm — SnowflakeI need to accept my N is no different, deep down I had been so hoping he was..
Consider it a lesson
April 18, 2012 - 2:44pm — janemarieConsider it a lesson learned.....AND REMEMBER IT FOR NEXT TIME BECAUSE THERE WILL BE A NEXT TIME!!!!!!
Snowflake....he is NEVER gonna change....EVER!!!!!
He is disordered.....please embed that in your head!!! This is very hard to process I know..but you have been part of this forum for quite some time, broke NC and have learned a lot!!!!!
Please remember!!!!!!!
Janemarie
April 18, 2012 - 2:52pm — SnowflakeIts time now hon..I am a different snowflake, I feel far more humble and this feels like a new experience. Not sure why x
Every one of us has that "moment" when we just know.....
April 18, 2012 - 2:55pm — Layla...we have had "Enough".
You may have just had yours.
This is a GOOD thing. We reach that point we just KNOW he will never change, we can't fix it and it will NEVER get better.
love~ Layla
After the first couple of
April 18, 2012 - 2:40pm — Harper03After the first couple of days, NC becomes a DREAM. You still feel a void, sadness, confusion, you want to contact him, etc. BUT you start to think more clearly. Things start to make sense in your head and you want to find out why you would stay with someone who is like him. PLEASE stay no contact!
Some advice from me... I changed my number. It was easier to go NC after this breakup since I did that. I didn't know if he was trying to contact me or not. And silence is horrible in my eyes after you've been treated so badly. Ignorance is bliss in this case.
If you feel like you want to contact him, POST AWAY sweetheart!
Harper
April 18, 2012 - 2:54pm — Snowflakethank you, thank goodness I changed my number..last time I tried NC I got to I think maybe a month and a half and then two days ago broke.
And you are so right, I did start to feel better..one empathic moment of receiving a sorry and back to square one.
WE are all human on here with
April 18, 2012 - 3:12pm — Harper03WE are all human on here with feelings. It happens since we cared about these people and it is hard to understand why they don't, then if we get a sorry it throws off our thinking. But, they have a motive. You will get through this.
What also helped me... I do not have any contact and have blocked mutual friends. I think it is necessary to heal after experiencing something as traumatic as this.
And just to add
April 18, 2012 - 2:37pm — SnowflakeI am far from positive but maybe thats a good sign thats its the real deal this time?
Maybe I was too confident before and not prepared?
Anyone whose broke NC a few times have any insight please x
After the first d&d I never
April 18, 2012 - 2:47pm — Harper03After the first d&d I never stopped contacting him. I begged for things to work. He led me on, ignored me then treated me as if we were only friends (we'd been together for 2 years)... The cycle repeated and repeated itself. That went on for 6 months! But, the d&d's get more frequent and/or worse.
It gives them supply. They know they have you right where they want you and they will mess with your head (ignoring you also... in my eyes that is considered messing with your head)... It is horrible. It makes things worse.
You want to contact these people that you loved so much, who would make you feel so great at one time. You think by contacting them they will miss you or remember something that would trigger some emotion in them and make them come back. NOT the case. They do not have emotions like you or I... It is hard to break NC and then you have to go back to square 1 with the healing.
Been here before
April 18, 2012 - 3:55pm — SnowflakeSo I guess the question has to be 'what are you going to do differently to get the desired result'
As an empath the biggest hurdle for me was the sorry one..deep down I knew that one would be difficult. But its been done, and I have learnt from it.
So the lesson of 'can he really change'..well I now know dont I.
A more humble learning approach, a step back to properly learn/take in.
No promises because I feel I set myself up to fail..just going to see x