The Narcissist and His Mother

The Narcissist and His Mother
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Sorry if this topic has already been discussed. I wasn't able to find a thread like it in the forum.

I'm just starting to recognize the signs of a narc, and I'm wondering how they evolve into the oh-so-lovely creatures they become, and if their moms play a large role in what they turn into.

My soon to be ex appeared to love and respect his mom when we first met, but when she came to visit from out of state with his brother, the week I spent with them was a bizarre. We'd go out to dinner together and have drinks, and the conversation was totally strained. They didn't talk to each other at all. I felt like I had to keep the conversation flowing. I knew he grew up in a pretty strict Catholic household, and was raised by a single mom, so I thought she was reserved because of her faith.

My mom always told me that you should pay close attention to the way a man treats his mom, because he'll treat you the same. He was always so respectful of her, but the silence and tension was unnerving once I was in the room with them.

Does anyone have any thoughts on narcs and their moms? I'd like to hear your opinion!

Trainwreck56's picture

X-psycho held his mother in total contempt!

They fought and argued all the time, both have a really grand
sense of entitlement!

Both users and abusers! The apple did not fall very far from the tree! They had a very sick dysfunctional relationship!

SHE IS AS FUCKING NUTS AS HE IS, HE HAD A HELL OF A GOOD TEACHER!

She caused MAJOR problems between us! I GUESS I WAS GREAT
SUPPLY FOR THE BOTH OF THEM, now that I look back, thats all it was!

UGH

NCNCNC

TW

Harper03's picture

I posted another

I posted another idea/question based on this post. The N's mom makes me as sick as the actually N!!

onwithmylife's picture

the old taboo

I could write my own book on the narc and his mother, never met her, she was in ill health when we started going out but i do know she smothered and doted on him according to a relative of his and she must not have given him the unconditional love he sought so desperately. According to one of his wives, he once might have slapped his mother when they were both downstairs in their house , the mother came up from the basement with very red cheek. she told me.. something strange went on between the two of them.I think she was hypercritical of him, but I was not there, so can only speculate.As Sparrow says ALL roads lead to good ole mommy......

Harper03's picture

My exN's mom is a passive

My exN's mom is a passive aggressive, critical women. She is judgmental (claims not be be) but always wants her son's attention. Her husband cheats on her and I think she knows this and turns her head because it is all about status and what people think... Upholding this perfect life.

She didn't have many rules for her kids when they were growing up and she thinks this is funny. She spoiled them and never properly disciplined my ex. Her kids are all know it alls and she thinks this is funny.

My exN thinks she is a "great lady." She isn't... At times she can be bossy, rude or belittling to her husband. But, I don't trust him, either.

Hunter's picture

Oh.. Just ask me about this

Oh.. Just ask me about this one...

Read " when he's married to mom" ken Adams..

Hunter

Sparrow's picture

The narc and his

The narc and his Mother.........oh, where do we begin. In my experience, you will find most every road leads back to the Mother as far a narcissistic man is concerned.

Whether neglected emotionally, abandoned or spoiled rotten....most times, and of course it would be, the Mother has a hand in the disorder.

You will find many here that will attest to that as well. I refer to this Mother as the "Monster In-Law". The damage she has done, and/or the Father has done is incredible. And very sad..........but with that said, please, by no means, think this is an "excuse" for them and have pity on them and try to fix them. They are unfixable.

Believe me, many have tried and all have failed. We just have to accept that it is what it is and move on to healing.

knighty2035's picture

Where to begin is right

The relationship between Narc-boy (as he is now known on my cell phone) and his mommy is unpenatrable. But that's not to say it's a good one. She is just like him, an unpleasable, critical, demeaning, Godess... who is in her mind the ONLY perfect and worthy woman in the entire world. All others are gold digging, lying, coniving, disrespectful bitches. She wants none of her son's ever to marry and to date, my H is the only one to have "bucked the system"... but we are getting ready to remedy that! Once I am gone and can not be scape goated anymore.. they will certainly enjoy the torture they will put each other through... and I will be OUT OUT OUT of the dysfunction that is her and him! Woo hoo... I think I'm even more excited to never have to deal with her snarky bullshit than I am to be free of him.

kimberly4398's picture

Mine can't stand his mother,

Mine can't stand his mother, he has cut her out of his life completely. The almost 2 years we were together we saw his mother maybe 3 or 4 times, I dunno what really happened I get his version of she did this and she did that to me so I don't know. But I know he told me if she died he wouldn't go to the funeral. Mine has been married 3 times and countless failed relationships. The men that I have had in my life that were good to their mothers were always good to me so I do believe that this holds very true.