Day 2/3 of RC (RECONTACT)

Day 2/3 of RC (RECONTACT)
Posted April 18, 2012 - 3:59am
0

Well after silent treatment, I then get it was in Italy when I realised I had fallen for you.
I replied yes I just dont see why you cant be like that all the time
He replied I will endeavour to be nice but you have to too dwarf.
I replied that someone who themselves were vertically challenged were in no position to call anyone a dwarf.

Cat/mouse/cat/mouse
sorry just helps to get out by posting on here.

Now I am getting blank emails.

This is fucking crazy, come on Snow.

‹ falling Hardest thing for me ..... ›
onwithmylife's picture

snowflake

April 18, 2012 - 8:47am — onwithmylife

TAlK to women in an a abuse center while you are waiting to see a therapist. it might help.

Deidre99's picture

Snowflake, the best advice I

April 18, 2012 - 8:31am — Deidre99

Snowflake, the best advice I can give if you have been through this a few times now, with no success. Change your phone number, and deactivate (not block him) your email. Remove him from anywhere else he might 'pop up.'

Truly, the only way to pure healing...is to rid the person from your life.

I also encourage you (and others here) to look at what you hope to gain from a 'hoover.' Is it the person you really miss, or just a sense of validation? I came to realize through healing, that it wasn't the ex I missed at all, but if he hoovered...I felt a sense of assurance and affirmation. Which is not healthy, and what I really needed to work on.

You are playing cat and mouse, because you still seek his validation of your worth. That's what you need to work on.

He's a drug, and you need to cut off your supplier. lol (ie the phone, email, etc)

It is hard at first to change your number, but then there is no more looking at the phone and wondering why isn't he calling, why did he text me THAT, etc...

Don't be the mouse anymore, with this cat.

goldie's picture

This is not going to fly on here

April 18, 2012 - 7:28am — goldie

This is a recovery site which recommends NC from a Psychopath. I do not find it helpful to read a play by play account of you choosing to go back to your abuser. It's chilling and triggering to the members who are trying to remain NC.

You may be getting a hit by playing your cat and mouse game, but I am not.

This type of post is not healthy.

YOU have some choices to make here Snowflake. The help has been offered to you repeatedly.

Talk about HOW and WHY you are struggling to remain NC, fine. The details of your games with your Psychopath are not acceptable forum material.

I have had enough of reading these types of posts. Not healthy for me.

What's it going to be? Recovery?

God bless,
Goldie

Snowflake's picture

Ok

April 18, 2012 - 7:55am — Snowflake

Ok sorry I genuinely meant no harm, typing it for help I guess as I was confused, just didnt think, it wont happen again.

Time to do more reading and go NC, sorry to anyone I have triggered, like I said I meant no malice, just didnt think. Selfish of me x

goldie's picture

That is the nature of addiction

April 18, 2012 - 8:05am — goldie

Absorbtion on one's self towards the object of their addiction. Everything else begins to take a back seat. Family, friends, self care, and of course recovery. The mind becomes so fixated and obsessed towards the object of it's addiction, that is shuts itself out to reality and most of all, it shuts itself out to the truth.

This man is a twisted sick freak who is using you for his own sick power trip and you are so far into your addiction that you cannot even see that you are being played.

You get off on it as much as he does. There is nothing we can do to break this spell for you. He is your crack pipe and you want another hit.

It stops when you stop it. You get off the sites, and block him. I know some who suffer as you do who in recovery have gone as far as to get rid of their computers. That is how powerful this addiction if for you. If you cannot stop then you need to take stronger measures.

I have been at this for a LONG time and have heard ALL of the excuses. You can come up with hundreds of them to justify WHY you need to keep this up.

It ends when you get real and stop lying to yourself. There is NO reason at all the be engaging with a sadist, none.

YOU need to take measures to be done with this. Get rid of the phones you use to engage with these whack jobs. Get away from that computer and begin the healing process.

You may need to withdraw for awhile and that is tough, yet it is the only way to get to the other side.

When you are ready YOU will make some changes.

God bless,
Goldie

julesuk's picture

Re Fucking Contact!

April 18, 2012 - 5:16am — julesuk

Snowflake I too know what I should be doing NC but like you I have fallen back into his "trap". My psycho popped his ugly head up a month ago with silent calls and then texts goading me to call to meet up. Well I have let myself down really badly. I started texting back after nine days and its gone on from there. I just texted him to call me so we could have a normal conversation (WTF was I thinking there!) trying to appeal to his non-existent human side (fucking hell really lost it haven't I). Well all I got was talk about anal sex, my flabby tits, apparently I can't come, lay there like a log and am desperate and easy. This is a fucker who likes sex with underage girls!!
I hate him sooooo much why has he reappeared to fuck with me again I have set myself back really badly. I was doing so well. I haven't risen to the insults I just fired back that I feel sorry for him and I don't need to stoop to his level to puff myself up and to GET A LIFE!! I just want some sort of closure thats the hard bit.

What are we like we don't need this shit in our lives. Snow how is your marriage doing what with all this going on?

Used's picture

snowflake

April 18, 2012 - 4:25am — Used

This is not CAT AND MOUSE, this is him DIGGING you out b/c you keep letting him, I know you are in A VERY BAD PLACE, but this interaction with him is going to make you feel lower and lower, its what he wants and you are letting him...
Why do you not block him for good....you will never get better or feel better about yourself until you get this toxic DICKHEAD OUT OF YOUR LIFE....
YOU ARE GETTING NOTHING OUT OF THIS EXCEPT PAIN AND GRIEF...
You have to FOCUS ON YOU GETTING BETTER, NOT HAVING CONTACT WITH THIS MEAN LOWLIFE....

Snowflake's picture

Solo

April 18, 2012 - 4:34am — Snowflake

I need to sort myself out.

My head is spinning its hard to think straight..thoughts of whats his game, I told him I got blank emails, he hasnt replied.

Its prob so he can dissappear (because I wont give him my tel number, I told him I now have a work one) then come back and say ..you can see my email wasnt working/similar.

And mean is exactly what he is, throws a mean one my way dissappears then comes back with a light comment like nothing happened.

goldie's picture

You have that straight, this is a game

April 18, 2012 - 8:26am — goldie

Are you still confused that a sadists GETS OFF on destroying you? YES they do think that it is funny ad YES they set you up to watch you fall. IT is fun for them. They enjoy the game. We are talking about a Psychopathic Sadist here. NOT your run of the mill Narc.

These types enjoy infliction pain. It give them a high a rush a hit. He LOVES to watch your hurt and you are playing right into his game.

There is no change there is no resolution. What you see is what you get.

You need to get to your core issue's and why this game holds appeal for you.

Most likely it is triggering a cycle which is familar to you on some level.

God bless,
Goldie

Snowflake's picture

He wants me to crack up

April 18, 2012 - 4:37am — Snowflake

I know it, he wants my number, wants me to 'lose it' then he can say fucking hell you are needy I am working..

Who in their right mind sends blank emails? Then doesnt respond.

I am not thick he has a modern phone, his emails prob go to his phone to be instantly read.

Mine dont because I have swapped phones and got junk mail so decided not to have that facility.

Oh fuck I am all over again !!

Used's picture

snowflake

April 18, 2012 - 4:44am — Used

yes he does want to crack you up, but you dont have to let him...
Why even answer BLANK EMAILS?.......dont you see he wants to see how low he can take you...
BLOCK HIM FROM EVERYTHING YOU CAN....
He will never answer you....He alreadys knows you will always be available...
I know it didnt work out with therapist, but you need to talk to someone ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Snowflake's picture

Yes

April 18, 2012 - 4:58am — Snowflake

As a supposedly intelligent girl I have to hold my hands up and say I have allowed that behaviour by welcoming him back, I have allowed him to throw odd emails my way and have not just read but cherished every sad/sick word.

He is probably laughing knowing I am trying to work out why he is sending blank emails.

I answered the blank because I thought it was a genuine mistake, but then to get two..

Emails dont send blank anymore ..well maybe once but not twice and you then check your sent to see whats going on..this is mind games right, meant to fuck me over and working.

I am torn between feeling I need to do NC..is blank emails ENOUGH to go NC? I am kind of waiting for him to say something really bad to justify going NC.

Used's picture

snowflake

April 18, 2012 - 5:20am — Used

HE SENT YOU 2 *BLANK* EMAILS COS HE IS *BLANKING* YOU....
PLEASE LISTEN TO TRACEY, IF YOU DONT WANT TO LISTEN TO ME..

tootsgee's picture

dear snowflake this is enough

April 18, 2012 - 5:14am — tootsgee

dear snowflake this is enough ... its enough ... he is fucking with you and this is not the first time.... please find the strength and go no contact....

is there anyone you can talk to? can you get a session with Goldie? xxx

Snowflake's picture

Solo/TraceyJ

April 18, 2012 - 7:24am — Snowflake

Thank you both and yes I have gone back so many times..prob three whilst on here and many more before I found this site.

I am listening, just trying to get it out on here, thoughts feelings so that you can put me right and I do appreciate it.

Trying to work out time to agree with Goldie another session..nobody I can talk to..my friends would disown me if they knew I was back in contact..

He is fucking with me, I just couldnt work out the blank emails but Solo what you said makes sense..I am acknowledging you have sent me something by 'replying' but its a nil worded reply because I cant be arsed, you are not worth my time is how I have read it..

Ok girls where are my big girls ..this is wrecking my head, he has to go..

lilygirl's picture

Vampires

April 18, 2012 - 8:54am — lilygirl

Dear Snowflake, would it help to look at him as a vampire? Mine had this sixth sense, knew when I was getting strong & he'd come in for the kill again & again. You will never heal with this twisted person in your life. Remember nature abhors a vacuum, a decent person will show up when he is gone & you are healthy.

We become as sick as them. Please get healthy, take your strength back & turn your back on this evil.

Lily