Good of you to get the ring out of your life. Legally, many (majority of) courts consider the engagement ring a conditional gift that becomes final once the marriage occurs. It is considered an implied condition to the gift. Not the same as your iPad gift. That was given and he can keep it. You didn't give it to him with the implication that he is not an asshole. Unless of course you did and you can get that back. Ha ha. As to who caused the breakup and how it bears on whether you keep the ring, that will depend on the state you live in. Some courts are favorable. Others aren't. So for healing, get it out of your life. Selling it and likely pissing him off (depends on value) is further contact. Be done with it.

Give it back? You are kdding I hope. Have you ever taken a gift back from someone? The ring is yours. SELL IT and donate the money to this forum!

My 2 cents!
Stay True!

Janie

Why are you talking to him.. He gave you the ring..

The ring his his tool to play in Narcville ...No Contact..

Assclown should have thought about things before he gave it to you..are you sure it's even REAL?

Hunter

He GAVE you the ring. It's YOURS to do with as you wish. He broke the engagement and therefore forfeited the ring.

His mommy and daddy don't get an opinion. Say it...right now...out loud, "THEY don't get an opinion."

Personally I would sell the ring and get myself something nice. Or have it melted down and design something pretty for yourself.

I wonder why his urgency to get the ring? Is he going to give to someone new? Has he lied to her and told he already bought her a ring, confident that he could bully you out of YOUR ring.
*sarcastically* Is their anything else of yours he wants to give her?

I would tell the whole lot of them to pound sand and stop harassing you or you'll get a restraining order.

Send him a text, "Too late, I sold MY ring to pay some your portion of the bills. It's gone. You and yours will stop harassing me NOW or I will get a restraining order"

At the end of the day the ring isn't the real issue. It's just an EXCUSE to contact you so he can continue to bully and abuse you. If wasn't the ring it would be something else.

Keep the ring it was given to YOU!

Harper03 no longer dances to the tune of the Narc!! - yes??

Xx

In my opinion, he gave you the ring. It's a gift. Therefore it's yours and he has no to right to it any longer. It is NOT his ring. Personally, I would not give him the ring back. Period. You do not "have" to send the ring to him Fedex, like you said. He is powerless to physically to make you do this. It would be YOUR feet under YOUR control walking into that Fedex office. You no longer need to follow his instructions or listen to his commands. Just because he says, "Jump", you are not required to ask, "How high?". You have no relationship any longer (and by his own doing). Just go NC with the narc. You are in charge of you now. He no longer has any vote in your life. None.

If anyone sells that ring it should be you. If you owe him half the rent, and feel obligated, sell the ring and mail him the cash AT YOUR CONVENIENCE. However food for thought: Chances are that if HE owed YOU money, it would be a cold day in Hell before he would give it to you. He's a narc and would keep using it as an excuse to keep the door open, so that HE could get supply from you (either positive or negative - narcs don't care). Supply is supply. I'm betting that actually getting any money out of him would be like pulling teeth. Remember, narcs are all about HIM. Any relationship with a narc is a one-way street (all going in his direction). He would ALWAYS have some excuse for why he isn't giving what he owes, if the tables were reversed. ALWAYS.

He ended the relationship. If HE needs furniture, that's HIS problem. If HE is short on cash, it's also his problem. None of this is YOUR problem. You must own your own problems. The narc must own his, too. You are not responsible for the narc's problems.

Xnh tried this sort of garbage on me, too. They all do it in one form or another. The night xnh dumped me, he turned around in the NEXT sentence asking how long he could stay in MY house with me, and then he started whining about, "Where will I go? It's 10:30 p.m. on a Sunday night and I don't have any money for a hotel?" I told him, "I guess you should have thought about all of this BEFORE you dumped your wife, huh? I really don't care WHERE you go or how you pay for it, but it's NOT going to be here. It's over between us, remember? You just dumped me."

In short, once the relationship is over, it is OVER. The narc cannot have his cake and eat it, too. To quote one of my friends when it applies to the narc's problems, "Tough titty said the kitty when the milk went dry."

My advice is to do whatever YOU want with that ring. It's YOURS, and not his. Do what is right for yourself, and don't worry about the narc. Trust me, he's NOT worrying about you. Don't pick up the pieces this time. His problems are NOT yours. I'm sure you can find some way to spend the money from that ring for YOU. In my case, I enjoyed the wedding ring from my first marriage EVERY time I turned on that nice, new stereo I bought when I sold it. I'm betting you can find something you need or want, as well. Take back command of yourself and your own future. Your life is about YOU now, not the narc. :)

Huge hugs.

Sell it!! Buy something with the money that youve always wanted! It was bought FOR YOU, why the hell should he have it back?! Go on girl...just do it...F**k him, he has no right to ask for it back, bastard!
xx

I wouldn't give it back either... He forfeited it. Get something nice in it's place that gives u joy. Or give it away. I conceding room much after the break up ... Was too reasonable and normal with the freak and I kinda regret that now as they don't deserve it! Xx

Proper etiquette is the person who breaks the engagement either gives the ring back or forfeits the ring...

I would direct him to study up on Proper Etiquette. And, do something for yourself with it... Melt it down, sell it and buy yourself something, or donate the cash to Goldie for 1 on 1's!!! Either way I wouldn't give him shit!! LOL!!

And have it remade...

In Texas, the ring is considered a "gift", not a contract, so the ring is considered the woman's.

I kept mine, and had that bad boy melted down and reshaped into something I liked.

Important fact: My narcissist was hell-bent on getting it back... I think because he didn't like to admit to himself that he "condescended" to marry him.

But it's my pretty bling, and I took a pic and sent it to him and told him thanks for the "gift."

LOL

Um...ya! That ring is yours. If you had ended it before marriage, different story. He gave it to you, with a promise, that HE broke.

Gf go get that ring melted into some nice earrings or a necklace and send him a photo of it fedex