Hunter lady you always give the best advice and you are living life with no apologies. I love that about you!

ABC - it's been a long while since I've checked in here but your posting caught my eye and I wanted to weigh in. I first came to this board in the summer of 2010 and went through hell for about 14 months. Doing so much better now but the pain of lost dreams are always what get me! I have a feeling that is what you've been going through too. And, of course, those dreams are very connected to the narcs who ran us into the ground.

I firmly believe (as I think Hunter does) that the secret to our cure lies within ourselves. We have to make a conscious decision to turn the corner to happiness and live our lives fully and without compromise for those who don't give a shit about us - narcs and all! It takes time to figure out what sort of life you want to live because you're still greiving the loss of the only life you've known.

Faith is what will get you through. Faith in yourself, faith in those around you who truly love you and are there to support and help you and faith in the universe (or God, whatever you believe in) is going to guide you to the path you're meant to be on. He guided you away from the narc because he was killing you! Have faith in that and just keep your heart open.

30 is so young! You have so much ahead of you and plenty of time to have children. That is something you don't want to hurry and certainly needs to happen with the right partner. And YES, he will come! Enjoy the ride alone while you have it. Stop worrying about what, who, and when. Just love yourself and it will all come together.

And yes, that's what I'm doing and I can see how the changes in my life are so wonderful. Just keep the faith!

all my friends, all my friends ade happy, an illusion,,,, they could be in misery, 50 % of them will be getting divorced at least one of them could well be being abused. you are free! you are thirty!!! you could start again on a clean slate, you have no ties to this man , no children. you can start again in a new place or even country. run .... run towards your future and never look back.
your having a bad week so Am I , we will have them the mind takes time to teplace those memories and emotions with healthier ones. be gentle with yourself, sit with the pain , let it pass over you dobt fight it, soon youll be skipping in the sunshine again. its too soon for a serious relationship give yourself time.
even if you did land up a lonely cat lady which I know for sure you wont, thats still 500 times better than having your life destroyed by a narc..

youre going to be fine, find a newer kinder therapist, and make a pact with her you wont ever contact him .

youre going to be fine. I was triggered today too, but Im human.

be patient with yourself, go out and make new friends, xx

Yes, yes, and YES. For some reason I was forgetting all if the reasons I divorced him. Moment of pure insanity!!

I agree with S... Go back to your therapist. Actually, find a new one!

I feel the same about the dating and being alone. I am in my mid to late 20's and everyone in my life is in a serious relationship, married, kids, etc. BUT, we will BOTH heal and find someone. You are young, very far from old.

You will meet someone when you least expect it. Maybe at the wedding! Don't SETTLE for someone who isn't capable of loving. If you would have children with this man, it would get much worse I am told!

Worry about yourself and listen to YOUR needs and do not feel pressure to be married or have a family. Get yourself back on track, do things for you and look at events, such as this wedding, as an opportunity to be exposed to new people!

Hugs!

go back to your therapist.

You do know that you are manifesting your own self-fulfilling prophecies here, right?

You do know that if you think you will never find anyone, well, you never will find anyone.

You do know that if you dread being single, you will dread being single.

You must get to a place where you love yourself and your life, a life that you create moment by moment. Start small. Start with the gifts. You're alive. You made it through a horrible marriage and divorce! You made it! You are meant to be happy. We are all here to experience and create joy. To create and experience love.

What do you like to do? What pleases you? Think of these things and then set about doing them. Find something good to say about yourself...I know you can. Once you find one thing I'm quite certain you'll think of another. Tell me, I'm interested!

Please try to change your thought process. Please go back to your therapist. You are young and beautiful. You have a strong will and a strong mind that will work for you if you allow it.

Love,
(not) spinning. AND SO VERY GRATEFUL FOR THAT