I haven’t been on here forever. Months and months. I was doing really well. All the sudden, I’m not. I actually got through the divorce (official in January) fairly easily. I just didn’t care anymore. I thought I was okay.
I stopped going to my therapist (maybe a year back?) because she told me that she didn’t think she could help me. Now I feel like I need to call her and get back ASAP.
Now I’m in some kind of panic mode. I feel like maybe I made a mistake. I doubt most people are happy in their marriages and now I’m just alone and unhappy. At least I wouldn’t be single. I’ve never dated (started dating “him” when I was 18) and I really don’t see that happening any time soon. I’m a sworn future cat lady. Everyone tells me that is ridiculous but I don’t see me ever dating anyone. EVER.
I’m 30. All my friends are married. All my friends are going on child #2. All my friends have it together. Except me. Now I’m stuck living at my parent’s house while they discourage me to move out and not waste my money on rent.
I feel like he had a good premonition when he asked me what my chances were of ever finding anyone else since I have a child. He’s totally right. I have no chances of finding anyone else.
Now I have to go to a wedding this weekend. Alone. All by myself and I just would rather even go with him than by myself.