It's been awhile since I've posted on here, but I thought I'd post today to see how everyone is doing and let you know my progress. I've been working on myself a lot. I've processed some difficult things the past few weeks and now it's all come to fruition. I've taken on a new outlook on things.
When things were first unfolding, I was reading, posting, going to therapy, and hibernating. I wanted to go out but I was so afraid to. I couldn't do anything out of my comfort zone: eat, sleep, go to work and hang out with a handful of friends. As time went on, I pushed and pushed and used everything I knew about me and life to not give up. I continued to work on myself but slowly started incorporating things that I REALLY enjoyed into my life. It seemed like the light at the end of the tunnel was dim for a long time, but now I can see the sun shine.
I am not trying to be upbeat person here while others are down, but I am just trying to share that things do get better. Today, I have forgiven him, but most importantly, I have forgiven myself. I honestly do wish him well, but I don't care to be in touch to KNOW how he is doing. What is going on in his life or what he is doing is none of my business. Do I still think about him? Absolutely. Do I reminisce about what he had and all the smiles and laughter? Yes, but I also know that I am finally done. I have no desire to talk to him again, but if I ran into him somewhere, I would discreetly acknowledge him and keep going. There is no need for us to exchange words. I no longer "hate" him. I just want us to both move on with our lives and just leave things at that.
I hope you all are recovering well too and please share your stories.