Old N and I are through. Waaay through. He moved on to some fresh unsuspecting supply.
I've been single for months. I met new guy, thought he was a great guy. Worked in the helping profession. We hung out a bunch of times, chatted til 4 and 5 in the morning about anything and everything. He never made a move, I thought it was respectful.
I paid attention to red flags. He talked about his ex often, but blamed himself for their breakup. He said that "often times in relationships you take things out on the other person and he felt that by his doing that he had pushed her away."
He mentioned that his mom "thought she was a narcissist" but that was it. I REALLY paid attention to how he spoke about his exes.
He was always talking about how emotional he was, how much he loved love songs.
I told him from the get-go that I was a free spirit and that I'm moving in July. I told him I didn't like relationships and that I'm a very chill person.
Finally, one night after talking again about everything from "molecules to zebras" (his words) he asked me if he could take me on a date sometime. He told me from the first night we stayed up talking he knew I was "something special." He said he had wanted to ask me to be his valentine from the first night he met me and he ended the night kissing me on the lips and saying "bye valentine!"
After that he kept being really pushy about plans. One night I had worked about 16 hours tirelessly and he asked me to hang out at midnight when I was out of work. When I said no, he kept pushing and pushing and seemed angry. He then called and apologized for "coming off mad because he wasn't mad."
The next time we hung out we were making out laying down and all of a sudden he sat up and seemed to have gotten angry that I wasn't "touching him." I told him that I had boundaries and that I liked to go at my own pace and I only slept with people I trusted as I had had a bad experience in the past. This started an hour and a half long argument where he was saying that since I was moving to New York he didn't understand why we should go slow and then kept contradicting himself saying that he didn't want to be fuck buddies. He then got up super close to my face and was staring directly into my eyes asking "how much do you like me?" And I was like "why do you want to know?" and he was like "If you ask me that one more time I'm leaving!" So I saidI liked him a lot and he kept asking if I was falling for him and all this. He said he didn't want his emotions to be toyed with if I was moving. HE WAS MAKING NO SENSE.
We unfortunately ended up having sex. Don't know how it happened, I think it was the moment and the fact that he was staring into my eyes for such a long time. He had never even looked me in the eye before that for the most part.
Today he told me on the phone that he just wanted to be friends. That it was a mistake. That he knew it would cause drama. I never said ANYTHING. I told him I didn't want to be friends, that i had plenty of friends and those friends didn't confuse me.
He kept texting me after saying things like "I wasn't using you, sorry if I hurt your feelings it wasn't intentional you'll be alright." ALL OF THIS CRAZY STUFF when I kept saying I didn't care.
He kept saying "so you really don't wanna be friends?" I kept saying no.
So we had sex once. It is what it is. I'm glad I found out now he is batty instead of months from now.
This is no reflection on me whatsoever,I did nothing but be nice and relaxed with him. He acted SO WEIRD! The only reason I'm feeling yucky right now is because the last time I remember interacting with someone in this way... it was my ex-psycho. The behavior was almost identical. Whenever I tried to cuddle with him he "didn't like cuddling unless his legs were up." The weird ticks..
The sex, then pushing away. The closeness, then distance. The games. The manipulation. The mirroring.
2 words: F*CKING WEIRD.