Is Marriage Just A Trap?
Wendy AtterberryJanuary 15, 2009 19 Comments // relationships
A columnist for the Guardian thinks wedlock is a nothing more than a “legalised prostitution trap cum labour exploitation racket” and any woman who gets excited about her big wedding day as she painstakingly plans every last detail is just deluding herself from the ambivalence she clearly must feel about entering into such a horrible union. Behind the façade of excitement, she argues, women are really just “dubious” about marriage, which “is revealed by their desire to constantly reinforce a sense of the fated immaculacy of the day. The obsession over creating a perfect wedding is actually worry, fear, uncertainty, only sublimated and channeled.” Just what is it that women are so afraid of and uncertain about? According to the writer, it’s the tension between feeling like marriage is our “one and only opportunity to feel significant” and knowing that wedlock just “conceals at worst domestic violence and emotional abuse and, as a norm, a vast well-documented housework and childcare disparity between the sexes.” You know, if I had to guess, I’d say the writer’s parents probably had an unhappy marriage.
Lest you think she’s just some crazy, bitter woman who has a warped idea of love and relationships, she offers this: “The desire for a lifelong friendship with one loving, loyal, funny, kind, lively person is a natural wish and a genuinely sweet ideal.” Of course, this doesn’t mean such a “friendship” should be legally unionized in matrimony, something the author is quick to reiterate she has absolutely no desire for. “I know too much about the real, private, unequal life which follows the public spectacle,” she says. On second thought, maybe she really does have a warped idea of love and relationships.
So what do you guys think? Are women who get super excited about their wedding just “sublimating” their fear of and uncertainty about marriage? [Guardian.uk.com]