justmentheboys4's story

I know its time....

I just finished the book and I know in order to truly move forward I have to share my story..here Goes..... I was happily divorced for a year when "bob" came into my life. Its kinda complicated "bob "was actualy my old high school boyfriend I was always the one who got a way for him..I got pregnant and choose my X husband over him 18 years ago....Anyway when we started talking again he was still married and living in a "HORRIBLE marriage" he was sleeping on the couch..I know poor him right! He swept me off my feet and in within 2 weeks he had moved out of his home and had begon living with his parents, him and his wife were officially seperated. Everything was awesome he couldnt live withought me and the same with me, he was my everything we were together every day he was great with my boys i have 3, he has 4 kids...I thought wow why did i let this guy go 18 yrs ago he treated me like i had never been treated before i never felt that way about anyone not even my husband 9and of course the sex was unbelievable to the very end)..He knew what i was lacking and i hated to be alone! It was this way for about 4 months then all of a sudden his wife lost there house and it was being sold at auction, she all of a sudden had no where to go so the savior that he is moved his entire family into his parents home she is 100% dependent on him for everything...Our entire relationship was OVER in one weekend i never saw it coming..I was devestaded cried for 3 days straight. I left him alone to do what at the time i thought was to be the man he needed to be and take care of his family. About 3 weeks later he started calling again and texting me, of course i thought this meant he was miserable and loved me.( he couldnt tell me enough how much he loved me) This back and forth with him has gone on for over a year. His wife knows all about me and he has told her he loved me and wanted a divorce, he even had her and the family move out and go live with her parents. They were out for about 6 months and just moved BACK in with him since i told him finally I couldnt share him and i was done with the back and forth. I started demanding answers and well we all know what happenes when you do that. Alot has happened in the last 1 1/2 im sad still all the time i started seeing a therapist and they put me on antidepressants..this was about 6 months ago. I havent seen the therapist much but im taking the meds everyday. Im a strong independant woman who works and takes care of my 3 boys with no help from there dad.(he is a drug addict) nice i know....I cant believe i have let him treat me like a booty call and make me feel so insignificant for SO long sometimes i feel like this is pay back for me not choosing him 18 yrs ago,I told him that once and he just laughed!(bob) is also a complete alcoholic at night and smokes weed everyday, he works when its given to him, never seeks it out, I know real winner what the heck did I see in him...I cant help but wonder why does he always go back and why does she take it from him, i try not to think about them if there happy or fighting, sometimes i feel like im going crazy, they are supposed to move to maui as a family and why does that bother me? I have been NC for almost 4 weeks i do peek on facebook wich isnt a good idea i know! Im doing good and feeling stronger everyday i just have to keep remembering who he truly is and he will NEVER change no matter who he is with, im ready to move on with my life and truly be happy!! Wish me luck :)