He is starting to get physically violet...help!!! I

He is starting to get physically violet...help!!! I
0

Hi......Today has been the worst day yet......I can see there is no longer playing around with this, he pushed me on the bed 3 times almost hit me in the mouth and grabbed my arm really hard. He is so enraged.....I am going to get out later tonight or first thing in the morning when he goes to the gym. i am actually scared.
He has been screaming and yelling at me, calling me all kind of names, etc. He says I have caused all of this and I should just do what he says, not "talk back", "be humble and show respect to my husband"

I have never seen anything like this before. I am getting out ASAP, this time and blocking everything. He is going to "make me pay, and punish me" for moving out 6 weeks ago...he is EVIL!!!

JOY

greengirl91's picture

Hey Joyvb, from your post

Hey Joyvb, from your post your situation seems serious and dangerous.

People here CAN give you advice and support, and a place to vent and everything, BUT the decision to leave has to be YOURS..

Please get out of there, save your sanity and health!

You can do this! Nobody should be treated this way.

midnight7's picture

Dear joyvbfla, my xN hit me

Dear joyvbfla, my xN hit me in the face on one occasion, pushed me in to furniture several times, and I truly thought he might continue and I would die. I desperately tried to call the police on my mobile which he took from me and drove off with returning only in the morning to tell me to get out (from a place I had rented for him). I had a 2 hour drive home, and to this day I do not know how I managed to get there. I have never experienced anything like it in my life. Get out - now. You have been a member on this forum long enough to know exactly what a N is - a sub human, pathetic, incapable of feeling anything for anyone. Ns have only one agenda to secure and torture supply to fill their emptiness to fix a core trauma that can never be fixed, one that they are incapable of even understanding so superior as they act. Ns enjoy what they do and never show remorse. This situation will never, ever change - you have to change. Leave, leave now and never look back.

Trainwreck56's picture

Stay away from him, go NC now! Don't wait another minute!

The next thing you will be picking your teeth up off the floor, it always escalates, he is just conditioning you to accept this now!

Blames it all on you too! RUN AWAY FROM THIS LUNATIC!

Hugs,

TW

sunrising's picture

Joy it's time to leave

Hi Joy,

reading your post put me right back to my abusive relationship and my husband pinning me up against the wall or refusing to let me out of a room while he screamed at me, half the time I could not even hear his words just his yelling because I would just shut down with fear. After he would say he was sorry but then would turn it on to me "if I had not instigated..." and I took the bait telling myself I need to make changes how I approach a problem to him etc.

My thinking was confused or clouded with his lies one minute but then I would come back to reality and say I need to get out of this relationship NOW the next only to slip back in to I can help him be a better man a caring kind man and/or our relationship can work. I now know since leaving I was not in the true reality world because he had brainwashed me so much to fix problems vs accepting the fact this relationship was unfixable and no relationship he will ever have will be a healthy, calm and happy.

I left many times...many times I felt like I had no where to go because he had brainwashed me to never tell anyone about our relationship and/or told me that I should not "trust" so and so. Many times I would leave the house and drive my car to sit in parking lot of some store and cry for hours trying to figure out what to do. Of course he would call and tell me to come home and I would. I was a programed robot. Everyday I wanted to leave him..leave his abuse, his lies, his cheating, his manipulation. I knew he was doing all this but I could not understand why I could not leave him. I was a mess not the person I was when I entered the relationship. Nope he had trained me like a dog to accept his treatment.

When I finally left I was torn on the one hand I was happy I was out but on the other I morned our relationship. Now I just shake my head and think that was not a relationship I was a prisoner who was allowed to leave the home while still under his mental hold. One of my turning points was going to my local abuse center. THere I spoke with a counselor who also had left her abusive relationship years earlier. I also at her suggestion went to group meetings. We have all seen the movies where one of the characters becomes hysterical and they slap the person back into reality....well the first group meeting at the abuse center was just that a slap in the fact to bring me back to reality. I remember sitting listening to dozens of stories just like mine and thought I am not alone.

I remember thinking I am strong I can leave this relationship for good.

It's time for you to end this abusive relationship. It will never change. You can call the National abuse Hot line 24/7 to talk with a counselor 800-799-SAFE.

joyvbfla's picture

you are describing my life for the last 2 years

Hi ........ When I got back to his housevhe was calm and then he started again. I was eating these candies I eat sometimes, he wanted a couple of them and then said, "Thanks alot you bitch, now you have got me addicted to sugar".....IS HE ACTUALLY BLAMING ME FOR HIM EATING SOME CANDY??? All of your posts really got to me. I went to sleep last night at his house. He started again this morning ......He says stuff like "if you want to be my wife, there always needs to be underwear in my drawer....go get some for me NOW" Its about 15 steps, if that to the laundry room, he can't go himself???
Now today, I have to do what he says all day....run errands for him, be his helper. He will give me one more chance to act "like a wife" because I never help him or act like a wife when there is work to be done.
I understand complety your post here, sunrising, as that has been my life. Especially the past 2 months. I leave, get in my car, go sit in a parking lot and cry because I don't know where to go. That is also why I packed all my stuff and got an apartment, in january. The problem is, like you say, I have been so programmed and he calls and I go back. Well, of course I look like a crazy person to everyone he talks to......I leave like that, then come begging back 1 week later. Now there is also the threat of "I am going to call my girlfriend if you don't do what I want"

So, he is at the gym right now swimming, and I have the choice to get my stuff and leave......or run around all day as he orders me around.
Why would I do that?? He spent over 6 hours on Sat. with another women while I was shopping with his kids.....then both saturday night and sunday morning, he goes to church without me (taking the kids) because he does not want his women supply to see him with me!!

This is so fucking absurb........I will post on here all day, but I must get out. I should call that phone number and see if there are counselors around at a shelter.
Joy

sunrising's picture

I moved my post to your new

I moved my post to your new post for you to read.

wsh's picture

JOY.....Thank you for

posting this a.m. I've been worried about you & am so very happy to hear that you're getting out today!

Yes....POST ALL DAY.....& BE SAFE!

Goldie's picture

Thank you for sharing this Sunrising

Thank God you were able to get out and I am so sorry for your pain with this man. You were able to get out by taking that first couragous step of going to the woman's center and finding your voice. No one can possibly understand the fear, hopelessness, shame, guilt, and hold they "appear" to have on us unless they have been through it themselves. The truth you saw in those other stories was what it took to snap you back into reality and begin to see that this so called power and hold he had on you was only an illustion it was not true and was not really the case.

They try to brainwash us into believing that they are the only ones who we can trust and the only ones who understand us and love us and the truth is the exact opposite.

They do not love, the do not understand us at all, and they are NOT to be trusted on any level. The truth is that they are the only ones who do NOT love or understand us.

This take deprogramming to realize and these woman's centers across our country are trained in doing this and often are the only place you can go where this abuse cycle can be fully understood. This or a therapist who is specifically trained in the abuse cycle or has been through it themselves.

We go back because they continue to brainwash us with their lie's and because deep down inside we still do not feel worthy of a better life. The only way to begin to break the cycle is to get away from their abuse and their lie's and begin to get our selves back and our sense of what is true and real back as you so clearly illustrate in this post Sunrising.

Joy the only way for you to begin to see and heal is to go NC and stop allowing his unhealthy influence to contiue to tell you these lie's and brainwash you into thinking that you are not good enough and that somehow you need him to survive.

You do not need him to survive and the truth of the matter is that you are barely surviving with him anyway. He is taking everything from you, draining you of your life force and engergy which allows you to see the truth and do what is best for you.

In this senario everything that is done is what is best for him; not you. He is slowly killing you inside and the only way to stop this is to get the help you need from others who understand what he has done to you in keeping you down and away from what is decent in life.

Men like this are the statchers of souls and hearts. They do not love; they hurt, the manipulate, they control.

Joy, please beilieve that we believe, even if it does not feel real for now. Get out and get help and begin the process of finding Joy again.

God bless,
Goldie

cant smile without you's picture

may love pull you through and

may love pull you through and into the light
please keep safe
xxx

Layla's picture

Most triggering post ever.

Oh dear Lord how upsetting and triggering this post was for me to read...........I have no words..beyond upsetting..........

Please God keep our friend Joy safe.........

I want to see this woman triumph over this cross she is bearing so badly.......how saddened I was reading this. I am heartsick for Joy. Heartsick.

: (

love~ Layla

SundaySmile's picture

keeping you in my thoughts

and prayers

wsh's picture

GOLDIE.....THANK YOU!

For calling her.

I do not think it's a good idea for her to go "home"...if this lunatic KNOWS WHERE THAT IS!!

He is f'g LOOSING IT!! You are RIGHT.....she needs to go to a shelter!

Please let me know if I can help in any way!

wsh's picture

JOY.......

WHERE ARE YOU? I mean STATE.....I know your children are in......where are YOU......would your ex-husband help? If there is a snowball's chance in hell that ex would help you....PLEASE CALL HIM!

Just please LEAVE!!!.........NOW!!!!!

I am so scared for you. PM me.....I'll do whatever I can!

wsh

bgirl's picture

No human being owns anyone.

No human being owns anyone. You do not need to be PUNISHED by him for ANYTHING!!
You need to get help with this. FAST. This is SERIOUS.

PLEASE BE SAFE. strength and love and hugs your way from all of us here.

XxxxX
B

Journey's picture

Yes Joy, please get out of

Yes Joy, please get out of there asap and keep us posted so we know you are safe xoxo

wsh's picture

OMG!!!!!

PLEASE...PLEASE....PLEASE....

GET OUT NOW!!!! Your very LIFE IS IN DANGER!!!!

DO NOT WAIT FOR THE MORNING!

I am CRYING as I write this......PLEASE GET OUT!!!!

Sparrow's picture

Please listen to Goldie. She

Please listen to Goldie. She knows what she is talking about. Joy, please be safe. Get out as fast as you can and do not look back.

Please let us know that you are safe, as soon as you can.

joyvbfla's picture

yes, I am going now

I know it is time to leave this situation.....things are somewhat calm at the moment, I am getting my stuff and leaving. I know it is not something to mess around with at this point....he is angry and enraged.....
He is getting blocked from everything!!
Joy

I will post when I get home!!

D.'s picture

I'm praying for your safety.

I'm praying for your safety. Update when you can! xoxo

Deidre99's picture

I am praying for u joy.

I am praying for u joy. Please be careful. We love u here. We do and we care.

Goldie's picture

Yes this is exactly what he is doing

You need to go to the woman's shelter NOW. You are in the severe throes of the domestic violence cycle. I am calling you now. This needs to end now.

God bless,
Goldie