It's my 2 month NC anniversary. Yeah! The idiot broke up w/me over the phone after 2 years together & living in my home. How classy! At first it was very hard not having closure. I made my own closure by going NC. My daughter is in contact w/him over some money issues. He actually texted her yesterday "Doesn't your mom want to talk to me"?. Her first response was to text back...Wow...No shit sherlock, it's been 2 months. But she simply said "read your email". I have a third person e mail back & forth until all of our affairs are settled.(We are in 2 different parts of the country). I have made some significant discoveries about myself now that my fog has lifted.
At first it was truly all about him as i tried to sort out what just happened to me. But in the 2nd month, my focus shifted to me, thanks to this forum. I still have a boatload of issues to work through but I've discovered that I was wanting to be "rescued". After being in a toxic marriage for 30+ years, I lost my sounding board for my business, my maintenance man for my home, and a body to fill the lonely places at night.
I also discovered that I am a bit of a Narc myself. I love attention, love to flirt & be the apple of some mans eye.
Now I am certain that my XNBF carefully studied me to rape my vulnerabilities. He propped me up in all the right places, saying all the right things.
I didn't think I would ever stop crying. I read the posts from people on here & the mods & I truly thought "I" was different, "I" would not recover. But I am on my way!!! Yeah!!! Truly, i don't think about what he's doing, who he's with, what he's saying about me etc. I am even thinking of forgiving him.
So please hang in there all you new victims. It does get better the longer you go NC, gain strenght & respect. NC = I no longer care (aka....FU)