MissScout's Story

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#1 Mar 18 - 6PM
MissScout
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MissScout's Story

Reconnected with suspected narcissist after 36 year separation. Is he really one?

I'm not making this up.

I met Charles in high school. He was my high-school sweet-heart. He truly was sweet, but I realized he was OCD. I eventually moved on. About three years after I broke up with him, I called him. We met a few times. I quit seeing him, just never got back with him. I should have at least broken it off, rather than just quit contact. He has told me that he was devastated by that and didn't date for five years.

I eventually married a man I really didn't love. I had a son with this man. We stayed together for 29 years. That ended 2 years ago.

During this period, Charles never married. After 18 months of being divorced, I contacted his brother on FB and told him who I was and to tell Charles that I hoped he had a good life and that an old friend was doing a welfare check on him. I gave his brother my email address.

After about 3 weeks I get an email from Charles. We start communicating online and by phone for a while before we decided to have a "date". I went to his condo. I immediately knew that I didn't look like what he expected. He expected an 18 year old, 110 lb. girl.

That wasn't me. I weight 147. Wore my hair short and wore a size 10. My hair was salt and pepper, but I am a runner and try to look good.

He was not impressed. I knew immediately that he was not pleased with my appearance. He kept saying how we had aged and grayed. I'm 54. That happens. I finally got up and said I had been insulted enough. Picked up my belongings and left. I was humiliated.

Then I fell into the trap that I later learned was narcissism. He started emailing me back and talking to me on the phone, encouraged me to change my hair style, dye my hair, lose to 115. I did it all. And more. I had an eye job and now weigh 112.

Several weeks into our "reconnection" I find out that he is LIVING with another girl at her home, while he maintained his condo in town. After I found out about her I have begged him to make either make a decision or at least tell her about me so we can all be on a level playing field. She doesn't even know he sees me. Even though I care about him, I believe he is narcissistic.

He tells me how young he looks (59 years old), he looks younger than I do, now that I have lost all the weight, he complains about flab. I walk/run almost every day, to yoga and basic floor exercises. What else can I do?

I do suspect that he has the Madonna/Whore complex, because he told me that since we had started going out, he quit having sex with her and has only had sex with me (sex life wonderful). He told me that he sleeps on her sofa, which I believe, because he has tried to sleep on mine before. He has hinted that their sex life was very infrequent. I gather he has had sexual problems with the few women he has gone out with in all these years.

He won't make up his mind. I am currently in therapy and on medications. He has hijacked my life. I have made every threat and option to him I can think of.

He says that they are platonic, were both lonely when they met on an online dating sight 4 years ago and that she hasn't done anything to hurt him. His last promise yesterday is that he is going to try to tell her over the weekend.

One other thing, I was helping him trim some limbs at one of his rental properties and tripped and fell on a limb that had fallen to the ground. The ladder and I hit the ground. He told me that I had embarrassed him. I would think a normal person would be more concerned for a small woman falling to the ground while holding a 6 ft. ladder.

This man is killing me. Is he a true narcissist?

Mar 28 - 9PM
Kimdanette
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STOP HAVING ANY CONTACT WITH HIM NOW!

Mar 25 - 3AM
Pumpkin
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Sorry

Pumpkin

Mar 19 - 8AM
Used
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missScout

Mar 19 - 4PM (Reply to #5)
MissScout
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I broke Rule #1

Mar 18 - 9PM
Sparrow
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Sounds like one to me. What

Mar 18 - 7PM
Hunter
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Is he a narcissist ?? We are

Mar 18 - 6PM
ruby01 (not verified)
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MissScout