I'm officially an idiot

I'm officially an idiot
0

I'm laying down sideways on a king size bed in a five star hotel room with a huge window overlooking Barcelona. All expenses paid by a cosmetics company for me to come do what I love the most.

AND STILL, 6 months later, the first thing I thought when I saw the room was "oh I wish he was here". Why, why am I such an idiot? When will this end?

Winter's picture

RubyWoo

I think ONLY 6 months after, we are all official idiots :) I felt the same back then.

I am now about 10 months after and also in a nice hotel room on a business trip. I feel indifferent for him not being with me, even glad. It will come with time.

For now, let yourself feel whatever you feel and don't pay too much attention to this bothering feeling.

Love

Winter

fallingfoward's picture

Ruby woo...

I agree with the other posts, it's hard and it can be very sad to be missing the narc.

I have a young son, who was homeschool and went alway to NYC for college. He has struggled so much out there, even though I help him it's very expensive. He's only 22, has traveled to 18 countries, and is now on a government committee. He will be speaking to Congress next spring. He comes from a very humble place. You may wonder why is FF sharing this story.

Well, the other day I asked him, are you ever afraid? He said yes, but I do it anyway.

So I was thinking to myself that day. I need to do things, if I'm afraid, if I'm sad, if I'm lonely, even if I'm angry. My son said Barcelona is beautiful. So Ruby if you need to just stay curled up in the bed, then do it for your mental health. But if you can, get up, get dress and enjoy yourself, do it in spite of your emotions. You had sad times when you were with him, but now you are by yourself, you really do have some control.

I believe the universe is waiting to meet the real Ruby-woo and has great things awaiting you, as you take the steps.

Hugs from the usa.

Redhead's picture

Well hell yeah you're an

Well hell yeah you're an idiot for not inviting me;) I felt the same way when I went to Vegas for Christmas. you are perfectly normal my Friend. Remember, this is a process. Now that being said, get out & enjoy this because the most important person is there - & that's you!!

laxl's picture

Totally understand...

I totally understand - those N's make us so desperate to be with them... I certainly found myself thinking and doing things that weren't normal for me, simply with the hope that I could make him smile, make him approve of me. I found little things all the time that I would hope could somehow make an impression on him. You are not alone to find yourself someplace that would be GREAT with a man who loved and cherished you. The G-D kicker is that your N would never love and cherish you, no matter how much you deserve it, because N's can't do that. They only love and cherish themselves. Even after such a horrible D&D, I can find myself thinking "wow, he would love this place/thing" and want to plug into his life. But no place, nothing, NOTHING AT ALL will make these N's be the men we wish they would be. So, dear friend, enjoy your time in Barcelona, stretch out in that big ol' bed, and even if you're a little sad, please remember that you are infinitely better off without that N piece of you-know-what! Hugs to you, please don't feel lonely. You would feel even worse if he were there because even if N's are physically with you, they can't be with you emotionally. xxoo

matahari's picture

dos vino por favor!

Barcelona is beautiful, please go out and enjoy youself, flirting is good for your self esteem, take it from me.
Time is a healer just think of all the hurt he put you through and throw caution to the wind and enjoy
xx big hugs and wish i was there with you we could have a girly nite outxx dos vino por favor!

onwithmylife's picture

ruby woo

ENJOY yourself, reat assured he is NOT thinking of you.....................

jones's picture

just start checking out the

just start checking out the Spanish men they are Hot and you will forget him soon enough :-)

I love Barcelona, have fun!!

Movingforwardnow's picture

RubyWoo

You are NOT an idiot. You got your feelings out on here and that makes you most definitely not an idiot.

As for "when will this end?" I can't really answer that. I think it ends when we really, truly let it end.

A king size bed, a five star hotel room, a huge window overlooking Barcelona, all expenses paid??? Wow! Try to enjoy it. Embrace your surroundings, relax, and enjoy it to the best of your ability.

Someone else posted on here asking what do we do with our lonely Fridays? It got me thinking and I replied to that post as positively as I could but if you don't mind I am going to enjoy my Friday vicariously through your surroundings tonight. As I take my bubble bath I am going to try to picture myself taking my bath in that beautiful hotel room you are in. I am going to visualize your surroundings. It sounds beautiful and amazing.

I hope you have the oppurtunity to enjoy it as well.