About NC

Something's on my mind today, and I've thought of this before, but today, since things are not feeling quite as fresh in my mind as before (the things he did), I think that's why it's more of a concern.

Is it ok that I just stopped talking to him, without verbally saying or sending him something about it? I know why I did it, but as time has passed, and I've gotten contact from him asking me for clarity, or a phone call, or a few minutes of my time, and apologizing, pleading, asking me for closure, or to let him explain, etc.., and asking me for help in trying to understand what he did to push me away, etc..and even saying that it's obvious to him with my silence that all I meant to him was just someone he dated, as opposed to the many years we had this emotionally intense relationship..It just makes me think, should I have said "goodbye" or said "I can' talk to you anymore"...I hate that because of his actions and nature, I have to keep doing things that I'm not comfortable with, like give a lifetime of silence without so much as a word to him. I of course hated when he gave a silent treatment of sorts when I was around him, and have read about it being control, yet obviously as everyone here knows, my doing it is to protect myself.

BUT, that being said, is it a normal thing for those doing NC to just do it out of the blue (for them), and literally not make a peep no matter what they do? I mean I have ignored everything, every form of contact, and to know I never said a single word to him...It's making it difficult for me, the more time that goes by.

And yes, I know the nature of our relationship was completely unstable and I've tried to break away many times before, either with saying goodbye or not, and knowing that it's not so much the words I say, but my actions. I get that. I'm just having a really hard time making peace with that. And how crappy I felt with his responses to my silence and the above things he said.

Thank you.