My N would drink cans of beer while also drinking shots of whiskey. blech.

Sometimes I was happy when I knew it was a night my ex N was going to drink. When my N was sober he mainly just sat around and watched TV and didn't talk. When he drank he was talkative, affectionate, and wanted to take me out. I liked when he got talkative, he worked for his father and when he got drinking he would tell me stuff about work and his family (I wouldn't tell anybody but it was nice to know some secrets...LOL) and even talk about his ex wife and ex girlfriends which when sober he would never do.

Also the next morning after drinking he was always really physically affectionate, he wasn't affectionate like that normally after a night of NOT drinking.

But the bad part is after we had been dating awhile he started getting nasty when drunk. That's when he would insult me or accuse me of cheating.

I dated the N almost 5 years and in the last 2 years I noticed his drinking got a lot worse. He ended up losing his license and he will never get it back which sucks for him. But he would never admit that it bothered him even though now he has to take the bus or get rides.

He is so good looking, if I drank and smoked as heavily as him I would probably be a wrinkled mess. I do think the N fears getting older because he could always attract women by his looks.

But he is now having breathing problems, this is the first time he has ever had a health problem so I have to wonder who would stay with him if he did get sick with breathing problems? Whenever he would even get a little cold he was a total baby and acted like a bastard.

His drinking probably was the biggest thing that led me to leave him in the end because I was afraid of him being around my daughter like that. Also the mood swings and his typical N behavior were no picnic either.

My N was an alcoholic too. He drank a 30 pack of busch light a day. What a patheletic life. My N was sweet as pie when he was drinking or drunk. But, mean as hell in the morning when he was somewhat sober.

My N lost a great job as an engineer for the railroad. Now, he farms for a living. Drinks all day, while working on the farm. Scary if you really think about a guy running big farm equipment drinking like a fish...

I think mine drinks for try and medicate the disorder... Only way he can function in life...

My N was an alcoholic who drank smoked marijuana from the time he got off work until bedtime and from morning to night on weekends. He was high so much that I rarely so him sober although he was so controlled his affect was not that different. I basically used right along with him and jut I was so sick of it at the end. All his kids 18-23 use constantly too including his 23 year old unemployed, unnmarried daughter with 2 infants. The last night I saw him we waited around at the daughters allI night waiting for her to set up a druog deal for him, even with the 2 babies in the house.

This is a guy with a Masters degree and an important career in public health not a guy who lives in a trailer park. I watched him make promises to his exwife and kids that were often not kept, often they blamed me and left me mean messages, but he of course was controlling everything and still is as far as what they get from him and his time. He used to celebrate that he didn't have to pay child support on this youngest child anymore even though it probably means his ex wife can no longer afford the mortgage where the kid lives and he is still in Hight School.

And I know his kids thoght I was an idiot and not aware of what their father really was and were all aware of constant other women over the 3 years I continued to follow behind him collecting crumbs.

His new woman is Indian from a very sheltered family and a PhD degree from a top school. Maybe she hasn't realized yet that he is a habiual user as he keeps her very compartmentalized and sees her a lot sober as he works with her. I can only hope she sees the light and that things with him never really "add up" before she gets in too deep and he can move on to some lower caliber supply.

I do believe using is one way that Ns are able to do what they do because it supresses emotion and makes people very selfish. The Sam Vaknin literature says Ns are often addicted to drugs/alcohol.. I admit I have continued to use as a way of escaping thoughts of him but it doesn't help and I"m often tempted to contact him when I've had a few too many. Now I need to take my sobriety more seriously too.

It's all just part of the package but as stated above, just being involved with someone that is a drug/alcohol abuser is enough of a reason to leave the relationship. I'm sure women of alcoholics that aren't full blown Ns have very similar issues to us.

Would love to hear from more folks about Ns other addictions (supply being the first and most important one).