So yesterday was a rubbish 'I miss him but also hate all men' kind of day. Today was supposed to be better - thats the way it usually works.
Got up, saw to the kids, went to work, came home and my mum was here. Told her how I was feeling, I mean really told her what was going on in my head and she just said ' Well, he's gone now and that's better isn't it? I know you are lonely but this is much better than when he was here' and then she went home.

Aaaarggghh, I just nodded at her and stopped talking. It seems like everyone, even my mum who saw me in pieces over the past few months, thinks that I should just pick myself up, dust myself off and carry on as if nothing has happened. Don't get me wrong, I have some great days and I can see the old me coming back but when I have down days , I just want to know that people understand. Can anyone really really understand all this until they have been through it? I feel like screaming 'THIS IS NOT A NORMAL BREAKUP' but I don't , I just tell everyone that I am fine and put my usual fake smile on. It's only on here that I can really be myself at the moment.

Oh I don't know what's going on in my head today. I'm sat in the kitchen listening to bloody 'Separate Lives ' by Phil Collins and that's never good - even when this hasn't happened!!! Time to change the Ipod to 'Firework' by Katy Perry!

Sorry for moaning - just feel a bit rubbish.

Hugs to all xx