From what I have read, my missing him, my CD, and my still present fantasy about him are because my sub-conscience mind and conscience mind are not on the same track. One is still in denial. It has been over three months since final D&D. I am worried that I will NEVER get there. It is getting better. I am continuing to learn, read, etc. I read an email written by his ex wife (friend of a friend showed me) and she talked about his "lies and manipulation" which were the EXACT SAME WORDS I USED IN MY LAST LETTER TO HIM. I KNOW I AM RIGHT-I have all the evidence in front of me and am processing it. How long does it take? I don't want to be stuck like this for years. He did the exact same thing to me 20 years ago. I let him do it again three months ago. So I am a double dipper which makes this even worse.