OMFG REALLY OW#2

32 posts / 0 new

#1 Feb 18 - 11AM

nlvr7

OMFG REALLY OW#2

LMAO! Well I guess I forgot to block "ONE AVENUE" of contact and apparently there were TWO OW... t 2nd OW" is super cute and is a speech pathologist and owns her own joint. Well good for him. He brought her to dinner to meet all the friends last week. Good deal, good deal. I'll meet my prince someday too.

Hope I haven't forgotten any other avenues! Won't lie, kinda hurts but I don't feel like crying or anything.

#2 Feb 18 - 7PM

janemarie

Another validation of why he

Another validation of why he not worthy of you!!!!! Let these OW juggle him and all of his games....you are no longer one of his toys for him to play with...so celebrate that!!!!! He is their problem now!!! Move on...enjoy and embrace your new freedom and bright future ahead of you...Narc Free!!!!

#3 Feb 18 - 7PM (Reply to #30)

nlvr7

word! im going to go have a

word! im going to go have a fabulous dinner in a narc free zone! have a wonderful evening everyone!

#4 Feb 18 - 8PM (Reply to #31)

janemarie

Hahaha....word.....shiiiiiitt

Hahaha....word.....shiiiiiitttt!!!!! Enjoy your dinner!

#5 Feb 18 - 7PM

Deidre40

you are on the road to

you are on the road to healing, he is on the road to nowhere. over and over and over and over again. whether it lasts a week...a month...5 years. he will end up nowhere. he will continue to abuse, and it will forever be about him. doesn't matter who he is with. my ex had FOUR EX WIVES by the time he turned 37. lol that, my dear...is karma. lol but...you need to close this chapter of this book. it didn't work out. it doesn't have to be a monumental thing. i know it hurts and all. i remember all of this very well last year. and everyone on this sight helped me get past it. see the light. you will get past this. once i was pretty much recovered, my ex N started hoovering. isn't that funny? he did this around thanksgiving last year...and hoovered hard. I DID NOT EVER BREAK NC. Had he hoovered before I had recovered? Who knows, I might have taken the bait. A hoover CAN BE helpful if one is recovered, because what I saw was...HE HAD NOT CHANGED. I had even heard through the grapevine (and I wasn't replying to the 'well meaning friends' either by that point, cut them out of my life too) that he broke up with his latest gf. (at that time) I remember thinking...and so here he is...sniffing around for me again. LMAO! And his emails vascillated from nice to mean to nice...to...what the fuck ever. I can't even remember it all. But, I remember posting it all on this forum when it went down...and we all laughed. I was pretty much at that point over him, and he was still sitting there wallowing in ways to lure me back in. But...regardless of who he is with. He will strike again! And I honestly believe narcs get WORSE as they continue on adding new victims to their collection. They get meaner. Angrier. They are very angry and insecure people. And as they continue to fail at relationships, they blame the victim...and the cycles never end. Karma is...that you will heal. And he never will.

#6 Feb 18 - 7PM

Hunter

Please Stop

http://www.lisaescott.com/2011/10/31/ow-compliments-sparrow We are All the OW.. Hunter

#7 Feb 18 - 9PM (Reply to #27)

Isabella B

Thank You, Hunter

I agree with Hunter. Waking up takes time ... enjoy the journey.

#8 Feb 18 - 8PM (Reply to #26)

freaked

You are absolutely right

You are absolutely right Hunter. Yes we are alllllll OW. Nothing more. Nothing less. This statement from yu opened my eyes and brain too.

#9 Feb 18 - 5PM

neverlookback

OH OH

He is triangulating - there is ALWAYS more than one woman ALWAYS!!!!

#10 Feb 18 - 2PM

redsunset13601

I understand how u feel, my

I understand how u feel, my ex N-has a new one too....actually she isn't all that new he met her a year ago... he was with her while with me but not all the time once in awhile when he would take off on his bike...needed some space so he said..she had no idea he was with me for the past 4 years. Just a back up. that is what he does. he is on every date sight known to man and he gathers all these women. checks out what they have materially to "offer" so to speak. he has a pool of victims so i found out when i got into his email and i saw he makes files of every woman he dates with there pic he takes with them! mine was called "what could of been" what a nut case! I look at it this way, just a new victim for these N's to pounce on...I feel sorry for these women because he is very handsome and so charming and caring when it is all new. i know the reason i feel kinda off because he is with someone new is because right now she is getting the best of him, meaning that prince charming i fell in love with.I miss that man the one I thought he was and i so wish he had been for real...so yeah i feel hurt inside.. this new one never had the chance to really know him because like i said he didn't see her all the time when with me, just now and then. Now she has been with him almost non-stop all the time. Unfortuneately. she will learn like i did, he won't stay, they never do. 3 months the bliss will be gone..he will toss her and if she get's sucked into his web like i did she will be tossed like trash only to be brought back with the huge iam sorry's only to do it over and over and brainwash the hell out of u to make u feel it is u that makes them stray like that. or he will pick from the pool he has and totally toss u to the curb without looking back. he never did that with me for some reason,kept me around for the last 4 yeas and i have no answer as to why i stayed...i just don't no. maybe he knew he had me hook line and sinker who knows? so when i get feeling poorly when i know he is with someone else i just tell myself it won't last with the "new" either...and i hope she is smart enough to get out before it is to late.

#11 Feb 18 - 12PM

Journey

nlvr7, you MUST understand

nlvr7, you MUST understand the pathology of narcissism better - narcs NEVER get their 'happy ending' that you seem so concerned about him having. You are right, it isn't 'fair' how they move on easily - but it is a fact that they do. They ALL do. Of course it hurts, these OW are our replacements and to think we are so easily replaced is very painful. It is as if you think just because this new OW is a 'keeper' in your eyes, that he will actually hold onto her as someone 'special'. There is no 'special' to a narc - even the most perfect partner for him is eventually discarded - it is in their disorder to do that. This high you've been on recently is temporary - always was, even without another woman in the picture, I'm sorry to say that, but it is just the way it is. The only high that isn't temporary is the one that we build from within. As long as you are affected at all by anything he does - or whoever he 'does', that high will be transient. Don't let the ups and downs control you - you control them when you let go of the rational that a narc is capable of any authentic emotional bonding - he simply isn't. If this new OW is successful and smart, she will hopefully see through his games early enough to save herself. My exN has been with so many other women since the final D&D I lost track long ago. The first was the hardest, but after that one ended I realized NONE of them will change him. NONE of them can remove his disorder and turn him into the guy we thought they could be - NONE! It is so important to believe that and stop thinking about what she might have that could hold his attention. Obsessing about what may or may not happen is futile - the end result is ALWAYS the same. If they stay together she will live a life of emotional heartache with him, chances are she'll lose her business, her home, her self esteem and her inner joy. I truly hope she is everything you say and kicks him to the curb nice and quick. We NEED to support each other on this stuff - we are all survivors of narc abuse and she will be one of us if she lets him get close. Don't doubt that for a second. Be strong! These outer circumstances will start losing their power over you emotionally when you stop letting them make a difference. Nothing he does needs to make a difference any more - he is disordered and you are better without him - time to believe it.

Journey on...

#12 Feb 18 - 12PM

Jar of hearts

Nlvr7

You Won! He didn't because he never will be happy no matter what the OW looks like !! Mines NW is as rough as a bag of spanners ( not being a bitch it's true) but her parents have money and she did ( although he was doing a good job of spending it ) so its probably the status thing more than anything! I'm just Really glad I never let him know my real financial status and I saw who he truly was without him making me pay financially Great thing blocking all FB avenues Hun xx

#13 Feb 18 - 12PM (Reply to #21)

nlvr7

i hope i can see myself as

i hope i can see myself as being the one that won someday :/

#14 Feb 18 - 11AM

Isabella B

Who is in Control?

Cry and block him and any mutual friends. You were flying high when you thought it was a "down grade" and now "kinda hurt" because she's an "up grade"? This yo-yo / roller coaster ride will continue because you stay in contact and see the world like he does. It is still fresh...it has taken me a long time to stop looking through his eyes and thoughts. It took some work, but I am getting out of that fog of his crazy thinking. I compared myself to OW and his late wife - my self-esteem dropped to new lows and as I started to look at me again, by my own standards and values (which are pretty awesome), I can see that I'm a good person. I don't want to think about OW or late wife, and I will admit it still creeps up, but not as much and it is diminishing more each day of NC. Who is control of your emotions and behavior? You or him?

#15 Feb 18 - 3PM (Reply to #18)

redsunset13601

I just wanted to add one more

I just wanted to add one more thing: I finally had the strength to block his emails last week and his last email to me he sent me a pic of his new woman standing on the beach in her bikini. He said the most cruel and hurtful things that ever has been said to me this was a new thing for him he has always ripped me to shreds with his words but never has he stooped this low never to send me a pic of another woman like that and say what he did. He first started off by saying "this is what a real woman looks like" and then went on to talk about her body parts and then went into the sexual experiences, which i won't repeat...cruel as cruel can be to me that was for sure. you no what though? she isn't all that ...really she is not and he doesn't see her as all that he is just seeing her as the newest victim. someone that hangs on his every word that is so captivated by him right now. little does she know he was frigin sleeping with me and her at the same time! when i discovered that is where he was going when he said he needed to go ride his bike to get away. so she doesn't mean nothing to him, just a tool and someone to hurt me with. i look at it this way wtf? she isn't any better than me because he doesn't care about her either, because he kept coming home to me! he has been with me for the last 4 years and every time he tossed me he was the one to come crawling back and i was the stupid brainwashed person to let him back and he knew it! I worshiped the ground that man walked on he had me so brainwashed. I am still very much in the healing mode.it has been only 2 months that i have not really been with him, i think the real last time was Jan 6th...but i have been down this road so many times before,,but this time i am sticking to it, he has pushed me way way to far and i can't take anymore.. every watch that show "snapped" well if i didn't get out when i did i think that could of been me. i have gone there hell with this man. I wrote a post back on page one that is called "I became like him and feel so ashamed" because i kinda got evil back at him for hurting me beyond hurt and that is so not me and i do feel bad for what i did but then again , all dogs have there day! these assholes never stay with anyone for very long. there are only two of us that ever made it past the 3 month mark and we are the ones he did the most damage to, i think i was the one that suffered the worst of his wrath,he took it out on me about his ex-wife from 8 years ago he still to this day obsesses about and never shuts up about his divorce and the fact he has to pay her 850 bucks a month for the rest of her life....he hates to have to do that! then the girlfriend before me his methhead partner i suffered because she stole from him and i heard that over and over and she was the one he tossed me back and forth for like clock work....i guess it was the meth that kept them together off and on..who knows not into drugs...she finally moved on left state. she knew i was always in the back ground right there waiting for my prince charming to return ..i was so f-up up over that and i still am. don't no why? why in gods name i allowed this? i don't really think she cared in the end before she finally took off she actually wished me good luck she hated me at first thought i was the one chasing him each time till she read his emails...she was a big biker woman all tattos and all, she was biger than my N was. a hard ass one ..omg she wanted to beat me to a pulp over him...i am a biker to but not like that, i have my own bike but i am far from that biker imagine some of these women have. she was a player just like him so i really don't think it bothered her all that much when she finally left after being in competition with me for at least 4 years she was around a year before i came in the pic..... I just feel sorry for this new one he is with..there is no doubt he will hurt her ..he does it to everyone. thanks for listening and i am thankful i have found all of you. god bless and stay strong, only way we will beat the demons that are chasing us.

#16 Feb 18 - 4PM (Reply to #19)

nlvr7

snapped!

LOL! I always tell my friends and think made a comment on this forum about how I'm gonna end up on that show!!! LOL Your story is like... crazzzyyyy. That is some crap to go through! Will type more later but I'm late for a class@ t gym OH PS... My mom called (oh boy) just to tell me that she found some pictures of OW2 and apparently she's a fitness model/bodybuilder and has t body of a man 1. I always thought the N was bi 2. Eww LOL

#17 Feb 18 - 11AM (Reply to #9)

nlvr7

really dont feel like

really dont feel like crying... im just mad bc he's found someone special in ONE MONTH and here i am posting on a forum! where is karma? jesus.

#18 Feb 18 - 4PM (Reply to #17)

Run4it

How do you know she is

How do you know she is special??????? Specially used is what she is.

#19 Feb 18 - 1PM (Reply to #16)

HelpMeHeal

How special is she really???

.... If he's messing around with the Asian chick too? Be thankful you're out of the mix!!! I know it's so much easier said than done. I'm in the same frame of mind as you right now - starting to feel better but hoping his "good luck" runs out soon! Son of a....

#20 Feb 18 - 12PM (Reply to #10)

Isabella B

Karma...

It takes time...karma is when you don't care anymore whether he's won or not. How do you know if this isn't good karma for you? Getting the toxic and bad out of your life? That's good karma, yes? I am grateful to God for getting the toxic exn out of my life now...at the start, I was obsessed and raw. Anger didn't come until months later. I kept trying to wait him out and he had already moved on...before we had broken up. Now, a month of NC; three months since last conversation/argument; and eleven months since breakup/D&D, I am confident about discovering me. This forum, a therapist, some family, and a small circle of women from Bible study who encouraged and listened, supported me. I could not have done it by myself. I am grateful. Good job with blocking him completely from fb and other contacts. That is the first step and know that the people here are very supportive. I appreciated the honesty of the members. Take it a day at a time.

#21 Feb 18 - 12PM (Reply to #13)

Isabella B

One more thing...

The "Special One" doesn't just pop up in a month, with his awful strings still tangled in the wind. Exn is NOT special enough to get a 'special one" in one month. It's all for show and you know what he is like ... comparing yourself to her or any of his OW is going to bring you down - no matter what. I know it isn't fair. It isn't, but we can pick ourselves up with support. I don't mean this in a mean way...but she isn't going to be "special" for long. He will devalue and discard her too.

#22 Feb 18 - 12PM (Reply to #14)

nlvr7

what N wants N gets... for

what N wants N gets... for his career and image right now he wants a wifey someone to take to conferences and go on vacations w. she fits t bill. he wont discard her unless she inflicts major N damage like I did (trying to leave him out of t blue). but he will probably cheat on her, or eventually get bored. i can never see him having a "soul mate" deep connection w anyone but i could be wrong. she seems like a sweet girl with a heart, i hope she has found her happiness. i dont wish his shit on anyone. i just dont want HIM to be happy, or as close to happy as he can ever be. still dont feel like crying lol.....just super angry

#23 Feb 18 - 12PM (Reply to #15)

Isabella B

What do you want?

All of that was just about him...how about you? What do you want? It's too early to wish happiness for him...just work on happiness for you...then you can CHOOSE to share it with whomever you want. Don't look for a separate "soulmate" yet, look at yourself as your soulmate and then see what happens. You may be amazed at who you really are. Please believe me when I say, I UNDERSTAND how you feel...I had those feelings and thoughts and emotions too. My goodness...you are going to be better than okay, so read and read, and post to get your stuff out. Take care...

#24 Feb 18 - 12PM (Reply to #11)

nlvr7

good way to look @ it.......

good way to look @ it....... i wish karma was him being alone and miserable for t rest of his life

#25 Feb 18 - 12PM (Reply to #12)

Isabella B

That Karma will come back to you...

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL...I remember it all too well...still felt it about a month ago. I also saw that I became what I wished for him - miserable and lonely. It takes time to find yourself again, or in my case, to really discover who I am. I am nervous and excited about my upcoming therapy session. Apparently, I've hit a nugget of repressed memory that I am strong and brave enough to explore now. I want to explore that and not him...he is disgusting and cruel and vindictive. I want NO CONTACT with him and my body responds that way. I physically feel these walls go up when I just think about the possibility of running into him, and I AVOID. I missed my niece's final bball game from her high school career because I didn't want to be in the same building as him! He said I was special - I'm afraid of how he would have treated me if I wasn't...yikes. They are disordered - not your fault.

#26 Feb 18 - 11AM

miranda

it does hurt, but if theres

it does hurt, but if theres one thing we know after reading reading reading is that he will be no different with whoever he is with. no matter how cute, clever, well off etc they are. ok i confess, i broke no contact and looked at the dating site my ex joined, he hasnt been on it for weeks, so i know he has found a replacement, like he always does, like i knew he would, he just cannot be without a woman to admire him, but i still feel shit about it. but we both know the reality is that ultimately the narc will not be happy with her, and she wont be happy with him. far from it. well done for staying strong.

#27 Feb 18 - 11AM (Reply to #2)

Snowflake

NC means NC

Stop doing it to yourself, tell any mutual friends you dont want to know..how did the avenue get through? What you dont know wont hurt you...please block block block even if that includes losing friends x

#28 Feb 18 - 11AM (Reply to #3)

nlvr7

was a person on fb I added a

was a person on fb I added a loooooong time ago and didnt even realize was a mutual friend! oh I def blocked!!!! feel like he will marry this one, I know him. She has her own practice, is pretty and shoots guns (hes a hunter).....just one month out from dropping me wow. not jealous but mad we live in a world where t abuser gets t happy ending!

#29 Feb 18 - 11AM (Reply to #4)

Snowflake

nlvr7

I would be mad, hurt, jealous and ranting but thats me. Glad you blocked...remember lucky escape, she wont be as pretty soon after the d and d x

#30 Feb 18 - 11AM (Reply to #5)

nlvr7

im jealous of him not her..he

im jealous of him not her..he fucks ppl over left and right and still finds what he wants a shiny brand new object to make him happy. he will hold on to this one. he doesnt just bring anyone to that house for poker and dinner. he won...game over.

#31 Feb 18 - 12PM (Reply to #6)

Snowflake

nlvr7

Hey you can you see me wagging my finger at you (smiling). Listen. 1. I bet you are beautiful to look at so dont you dare compare. 2. We all know you are beautiful on the inside. 3. He aint no prize...she is in for a shitty old time. 4. Count your blessings you are out of it. 5. Dont you dare feel jealous of that dirty dog. 6. And if this is No2 would you really want to be her while hes flirting wih No1? He hasnt changed but you need to right now or you will make yourself ill. Imagine him doing all the shitty things he did to you to her...because eggs are eggs and he will..they get bored..you could be wonder woman and he would get bored..its their nature....you need to find your fuck him attitude lovely girl x

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