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Madonna/Whore complex article, and guess what!
greengirl91
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Madonna/Whore complex article, and guess what!
Posted February 18, 2012 - 5:11am
The author says it applies to most and "vast majority of men in our society"! How`s that for an answer, lol. Meaning what, most of the men`s society is basically composed by disordered Narcs??
Who does that, their dysfunctional relationship with their Mothers? Porn?..Who knows for sure.
Basically the author of this article, some men-trainer psychologist or something, says that basically you gotta deal with the fact, whether you`re the "wife" or the "mistress" that you will never have this man "whole" for you. There will always be somebody else, and you will end up somehow hurt, no matter which role you have :|
Thought it was interesting to check it out and share!
About these twisted men with M/W complex..it actually explains some really interesting stuff about the origins, to their relationship with mothers.
http://www.examiner.com/men-s-dating-advice-in-los-angeles/when-you-unde...
© E. Scott Enterprises | Lisa E. Scott
We are not certified mental health professionals and this site and message board is in no way a replacement for professional therapy, legal or medical advice.
This article is great
February 19, 2012 - 12:45pm — ruby01I was most definitely the Madonna, but in the end he tried to treat me like the Whore.
I think he knew that would send me running for the hills- and it did!
Who knows? They are so disgusting.
It`s truly confusing, but I
February 22, 2012 - 9:03am — greengirl91It`s truly confusing, but I guess it is exactly as it sounds, for them Love and Sex are separate, always. With separate people.
And it takes a damn LOT suffering and sacrifices, from a LOT of people to make these men happy. Intimacy scares them, but it`s not just that, they will always be this, with women on the side, no matter how good or perfect his "good girl" is.
Take Tiger Woods for example, and look at his wife Elin. You must be insane to cheat a woman like that, lol! Or disordered :(
Thank you GreenGirl!
February 19, 2012 - 12:03pm — Lisa E. ScottThank you so much for sharing this article, GreenGirl. It is so helpful in understanding a narcissist's behavior. I've blogged about this before, but I'm going to create a new blog with a link to this specific article because the way the author explains it is extremely helpful, in my opinion. Thanks again, GreenGirl!!!! XOXO
Oh my, you`re welcome Lisa,
February 22, 2012 - 8:57am — greengirl91Oh my, you`re welcome Lisa, I`m honoured!!
He does put it pretty clear, doesn`t he? I was very enthusiastic to find this article and author, beause the only place I have read about this "Madonna/Whore complex" was in Sam`s work.
And I am so glad and happy to see that other psychologists, men-trainers take this seriously. It feels pretty liberating doesn`t it? :)
I am glad to help anytime, and I am glad it`s useful for everyone. It can take years and years of struggling, confusion and pain for the women in those men`s lives to fully understand it. And we are so lucky to have this community, and each other.
All the best!! >:D<
This article explains a lot
February 18, 2012 - 12:35pm — janemarieThis article explains a lot about both of my ex Narcs
The exboyfriend...liked the "girl next door" loved my motherly qualities, but then became distant with our sex life...But he could only be content with this one persona...we used to have great sex till I became the homemaker stay at home mom...then I was ignored and he looked elsewhere...
The exhusband liked both the good girl in the street and the freak in the bed...He wanted me all the time (actually I think he may have a sex addiction but thats a whole different story) and loved the stay at home persona as well....he enjoyed the best of both worlds....
Both men thought were controlling, critical, manipulative bastards...
They both are disordered...but this article did help me understand the different types of sexual relationships that went on here.....
In conclusion.....Narcs suck either way!!!!!!
Janemarie, that is exactly
February 19, 2012 - 12:02am — greengirl91Janemarie, that is exactly how my ex Narc was, and probably still is!
The part "With the Madonna/Whore complex, a man does not want his girlfriend or wife to have any "kinky" or "freaky" traits whatsoever. If a man perceives you as a 100% "good girl," revealing any characteristics of a 'kinky freak' might just traumatize him psychologically (seriously). This is akin to him thinking of his mother, favorite grandmother, or favorite aunt as a "kinky freak." Uh oh. See what you did. That man just threw up a little bit in his mouth on the mere visualization of his own mother being 'kinky.' "
I think is so TRUE and funny when you think about it. I remember a member said in one topic, she was the "good girl" and the Narc kept pushing her into the rough stuff and one night she said, "Man, you`re MY bitch tonight" And it freaked him out loooll!!!
The same with me, I remember once a loong time ago, we were at this concert with some of his buddies, and I remember when I cam his friends were very enthusiastic then and made a circle of dancing around me or something, and I went along with the "welcoming" to make it fun, and he stopped all of it, and said if he saw this again, he was going to throw up, lol! I am sure it hadn`t had like that much connection though with me, more probably because he wasn`t in the center of attention.
But anyway. I am glad this article helped you, it helped me as well, I feel a lot more free inside. I`m sure NC and time spent away from crazyness helps me see things a lot more clearer.
In conclusion, stay away from them!! We will never have the "whole" man when they have this complex. And I think the "Tiger Woods" example is perfect given.
Actually after reading the
February 18, 2012 - 5:40am — greengirl91Actually after reading the article again, I realise this author himself may have a bit of the Madonna/Whore complex XD
Oh my..
I think most normal men
February 18, 2012 - 2:49pm — Snowflakelike a whore in the bedroom and a madonna to meet his mum..you can be both things and satisfy a normal guy x
Snowflake, exactly, a NORMAL
February 18, 2012 - 11:48pm — greengirl91Snowflake, exactly, a NORMAL matture man would!
These guys can`t stand seeing both of these qualities in one woman/one body, because of THEM not because of us. And that is why they "split" us into categories. And from here, there goes a lot of suffering and drama.
I liked this article because it sheds some light on this :)
and to add onto
February 18, 2012 - 11:59pm — Deidre40and to add onto this...there's no reason though, we should be thought of as either or. if a normal/healthy man LOVES you? he doesn't see you as a whore...or a madonna...or even both. he sees you as a beautiful person whom he cherishes, and sex is a way to show you his love and please you.
but narcs can't love. so they can't process sex in a loving way.
Deidre, I think then it`s
February 19, 2012 - 12:09am — greengirl91Deidre, I think then it`s even better!
I want to find a man that will be my best friend, one I can share everything with, to be with me all times not only on "seasons" (!!) like ex Narc and Narcs. I want to share good times, bad times, to make love to him, and why not, from time to time experience a little freakiness, who doesn`t want to, you know? :)
With these disordered men, they SPLIT us, Number 1 - saint, stay home, cook, be a mom for kids, number 2 - bitch, get over here, and let`s get the freak on!
I mean, C`mon! Who wants it like that? I am sure that even the "girls on the side" at one moment say, "Wait a minute, I wannna know the other side of you!".
And when you think THEY are still the one complaining that they are "left" and "abandoned" in the end.. XD
enlightenment
February 18, 2012 - 11:58pm — phantom adorationI agree, they do split us into catagories. Just before he discarded me and walked away I noticed a perceptible change in his attitude towards me sexually...I wasn't for him anymore. In his warped mind I became the "Mom". His loss. Just one more wound to heal.
I take comfort knowing both of his brains will fail eventually as the only one we need will grow ever stronger.
They go back and forth,
February 19, 2012 - 12:20am — greengirl91They go back and forth, between US all, and we fighting between us, is like their sides fighting in them.
I think like this article says, it all goes down to their dysfunctional relationship with their mother. Love is only "pure" and sex is "forbidden" and "dirty". I remember a lot of members said in their posts, that after being with them, they washed like they have done something "dirty". In their heads they did!
It is like, if you want to stay with such a guy eitherway, you have to deal with the fact and probably "shake hands" with the always "woman/ women" on the side for this guy. You gotta deal with the fact that you let`s say, will stay home and take care of things, maybe children, and you will get to be the "classiness" image of the wife, of him a "family man" (LOL!) while very consciously knowing, he takes on his "kinkyness" elsewhere! I think at some point I would become frustrated and demand some kinkyness too lol!!
See? Eitherway, is bad with them.