It had been 15 days no contact. I was finally starting to get some of my energy back. I knew we would be working together over the weekend and thought if I can just get through this weekend shift I'm home free. I stratagized over and over scenerios in my head and how I would handle them. I felt strong and confident.
I made it through Saturday without seeing him with the help from coworkers. Felt great. Then came Sunday....Out of nowhere he came through the double doors. There I was standing frozen. Couldn't breathe as he looked straight at me. I couldn't move it felt like the longest second in my life. I felt his look tear through my soul. I turned and he walked behind me. I felt him even though we didn't touch. No words. No hello or hey. Nothing but silence that pierced me beyond belief.
I then went to the bathroom and threw up. I was a mess the test of shift. Still am. I'm completey back to square one. Can't move can't eat can't breathe. And all I want to do is text him. So sick. He consumes my every thought.
Make this go away so I can live. I am dead inside.