pi**ed off!!!!

pi**ed off!!!!
Posted February 7, 2012 - 3:27pm
0

Im in a really pissed off mood. I moved out of the house that was mine and exnarcs before xmas as i was starting to fear mine and my daughters safety, and i had a house lined up to move into so i went back to my parents over xmas. I managed to move most of my stuff out but made it look like i still lived there as he wont give me my money back i paid for the deposit on the house and it is with solicitors.

Anyways a week ago just before my daughters bday he broke in and changed the locks. Now i can freely go back and change the locks again but i decided not to as my solicitor had received a letter jus before i found he had changed the locks sayin he agreed to give me the money. Now we have not heard anything and i have just been informed that the house is now on the market.

But what infuriates me even more is that i didnt trash the house, i paid all bills up to when i left (even though i am now up to my eyes in debt) and the house looks quite nice mainly to the fact that i paid £600 to decorate and paint the whole house when we moved in and i didnt have time to get my made to measure £600 blinds and curtains out! i dont know why but its making me soooo mad, i wish that id not paid the bills and trashed the house so he didnt have it so bloody easy!!!!!!!!! why do i feel mad at myself? doesnt that show that im not a bad person leaving it in a good state! I just wish he would get his comeuppance soon!!!!!!

hopefully he wont be able to sell the house as i have a restriction on the property that i have to consent to any sale. but im jus sick of trying to move on for me and my daughter and doing the right thing but then hes always there wanting to punish me!!!!! for what!!!!!! argh!!!!!!

‹ Is the dog whisperer a Narc?? Got the draft divorce petition today ›
janemarie's picture

I moved out in sept...same

February 8, 2012 - 9:02am — janemarie

I moved out in sept...same thing..I left with my 3 kids for our own safety...left with my belongings that I brought, but left behind everything I bought for the house...furniture, window treatments...long story...I put 12k into that house and he has refused to acknowledge this...He agreed to sit down with my brother (hes a lawyer) after the holidays to negotiate something...but now he is avoiding my brother..

The house is on the market because he cant afford it without me...but he will be taking all of the items I bought...

After he sells he will have the money to pay me back, but Im ready to just take it all as a loss...

I gained my life back...I gained a life back for my children..Looking at it this way..I didnt lose a thing!!!!

Some things are more important than money (even though money makes things a hell of a lot easier :)
xoxo

abusednomore's picture

Hey hun, yes i agree with

February 8, 2012 - 5:10pm — abusednomore

Hey hun, yes i agree with you, gaining your life back really is worth more than money can buy, especially when ur kids lives r involved. The money we r arguin over is my dads, he loaned us the money so we could buy that house but my exnarc put it all in his name! stupid i know but at the time i just trusted him when he said he would sort it out that it was written that my dad gave that amount!!!! Luckily it was done by cheque and he has admitted in sol letters that he owes this money! but getting it seems to be a different story!

I got a restriction on the house, even though its not in my name because i can prove i put money in for the deposit he cannot sell the house without my consent. I paid £80 for it, best money i ever spent! haha! so he is ignoring his solicitor now and thinks he can get away with selling it but hes gonna hav a surprise once it reaches the solicitors. Even tho he knows about it i think he thinks it doesnt mean owt! uneducated cock he is!!!! haha!xxx

jackguy's picture

it sounds like you've been through a lot

February 8, 2012 - 6:56am — jackguy

and had to deal with a lot of issues that I haven't had to deal with to the same extent. sometimes I look back at things I did (where I acted reasonably or tolerantly) and feel angry with myself that I didn't create more aggravation for my exn. But I listen to s vaknin and others on the point that you cannot get back at a narcissist or psychopath...and in my case I feel that while she won't get her comeuppance in this case (I won't publicly contest all the things she said and did and expose her) her pathology is not going to serve her well in the long run...they do follow a downward trajectory, even if it looks like they're getting away with it...their lives are desperate really and they age very ungracefully and unhappily.

abusednomore's picture

you are right jackguy, i have

February 8, 2012 - 5:13pm — abusednomore

you are right jackguy, i have calmed down a bit today and realised that so what if he is left with some of my stuff and had it easy, he will get his comeuppance throughout his life as he will never be truly happy. And the last time i saw a photo of him before i went NC he had aged so much and gained many wrinkles! so i suppose karma does come in different ways as he always wanted to be forever young! haha! good luck with ur journey and thanks for ur comment.xxxx

fooled no longer's picture

im in the same position or

February 8, 2012 - 6:27am — fooled no longer

im in the same position or worse. heres the bottom line they suck you in to negotiating because you need to, and as soon as you trust them to go through with whatever they wanted and agreed to they change it around on you. it is seriously sick and f **** ed up. they want to see you in the gutter. mine wrote me an email after I let him collect his stuff from the house in my absence, saying "I will spend every cent I have making yogur life as miserable as possible"

its like being stmabbed over and over and it sucks, i so envy those who never married these psychos!
sorry for you, message me if you like.

Femmegem's picture

Sucks

February 7, 2012 - 3:50pm — Femmegem

Hey can't believe its come to this.
You did it because you're human, unlike that creep!
As for the house, in a way it'll be good, you can finally get your deposit back (please tell me you'll get the deposit back!) then you can move on without.him. he doesn't care he never has!

Rant away hon......but stay strong x

abusednomore's picture

thankyou femmegem. I really

February 8, 2012 - 5:25pm — abusednomore

thankyou femmegem. I really hope i get it back, im jus gonna leave it to my solicitor now, as he said in no uncertain terms whether he ignores us now, he cannot sell the house without my consent, so if he doesnt agree to give me my money back, he wont be able to sell the house! nob!!!! Ive calmed down tho now and realised that his actions really do speak for himself and i just need to carry on with my life, and try not and think about it as i have been doing. Just hard not to get angry when its shoved in ur face like that. I just think give me my money back then u can do what the hell u want with the house!!!! but hes a control freak and this is the final hold he has on me, ive blocked him in every other way!!!xxx Hope ur well and doing ok.xxxx

spinning's picture

Anm, it does sometimes

February 7, 2012 - 3:49pm — spinning

totally suck that they seem to skate away into oblivion while we twist in the wind trying to cobble together a life for ourselves out of the ashes. Your anger is understandable, and I hope you can find an outlet for it. I'm glad you vented it here. It needs to get out so it doesn't poison you.

I'd like to give you my observation when I read this, though, dear abusednomore. I see a woman who is an outstanding example for her daughter of doing what is right. I see a woman who has a moral compass and lives up to her obligations and her word. I see a woman who is making very wise decisions about her OWN NARC FREE, ABUSE FREE FUTURE and is very wisely listening to her solicitor. I see a WINNER here, abusednomore.

You might not feel it now, but never will come the day when your abuser can tell your daughter that you trashed the house and did other vengeful, spiteful things. You will always be able to hold your head up high because you have acted with integrity. HIS SELFISH ACTIONS speak for themself and your CLASSY actions rise like cream to the top. Doing the right thing is ALWAYS GOOD. It will never come back to bite you.

Remember how good you are and all you have endured and forget about him and his pathetic attempts to manipulate you even still. He can try to "punish you" but you demonstrate in your actions that IT MATTERS NOT and you keep pressing ahead. YOU HAVE ALL THE POWER HERE, abusednomore. He is just trying to push your buttons. He is trying in vain!

Keep venting here and maybe you could go for a run or a walk or go punch a pillow to let off steam.

Hugs to you and stay strong. YOu are doing the right thing and that is GOOD!

Sincerely
(not) spinning. AND IT FEELS GREAT

fooled no longer's picture

spinning sorry to say but he

February 8, 2012 - 6:31am — fooled no longer

spinning sorry to say but he can make up whatever shit he likes about what abusednomore did and didnt do, and most likely they will believe him, and there is not a thing you can do about it. thats what sucks.

as someone once said "they cost us everything"

abusednomore's picture

Thankyou so much for your

February 7, 2012 - 4:05pm — abusednomore

Thankyou so much for your kind words Spinning, i had to go back and reread as it started me off crying, but i feel a tad better now. I havent cried for a while so maybe that will help with the outlet. I just read and read and i know my situation isnt as bad as others but it just hurts how they can treat people like this with no respect! it just truly determines that he is a nasty narc and i am well rid.

Thankyou again, i truly dont know what i would do if i didnt have this outlet, u r amazing people.xxxxx