This revelation came to my kids and I weeks after we left his home where we lived for 3 months...one said, "I dont have butterflies in my stomach anymore' and "why was he always yelling?"

I did not want this type of life for my kids....In the beginning he came across as so wonderful, and patient with my boys...even strangers who knew him from him being their childs baseball coach alwyas told me how lucky I was to have him because he is so good with kids....and the sad thing is...he really was at times..he just couldnt sustain it....

His own kids were afraid of him and he spoke to them in a dictating condescending manner....another thing that I DID NOT want for my kids....

We now live a comfortable life without any type of turmoil or drama...the butterflies in their stomachs are gone...My babies come first before any fu***ing man!!!!

I let a psychopath in to my life too...as stepdad to my 3 older kids and as my youngest child's father. My kids told me afterward that they could tell I wasn't happy and that they never really liked them. He put on such a "family man" front in the beginning until our daughter was born and then it was all downhill from there. I had no idea that he was what he was until it was too late.

I know you feel guilty and I still do too at times...but you did the best you could at the time. Now that you know better you are doing better! Kudos for getting out and not letting him CONTINUE to abuse all of you. You and your kids will be so much closer for this experience, hard as its been.

{{{Hugs}}}

I just wanted to say to all those starting out on this journey of recovery that it does get easier and that NC is the ONLY way to go. Cut him out of your life completely, change your phone number and don't just keep it to see if he 'cares' by texting or calling because he doesn't, he really doesn't. His latest supply has just run out that's all. It's so hard to believe that but it's true and the sooner you understand and accept that then life just gets easier. I never ever imagined that I could have a day like today. When the narc left in october i fell apart, totally. Couldn't eat, sleep or function at all. My mum had to come and look after the kids and I just went to bed and took the sleeping tablets that the doc gave me. A few weeks later I realised that something had to change. I got a haircut, tidied myself up, wore something other than pyjamas, got back to work and found a counsellor. She taught me all about what the narc was and then I found this site. Accepting what has happened and accepting that YOU are the only one who can change this is the only way to move forward. It really works and I am proof of that today. Today is a good day, tomorrow might be a bit rubbish, or it could be better...who knows but as long I keep reading and understanding that none of this was my fault then I have a chance and so do my boys. Big hugs to all going through this because it is just terrible but we can do this and get out the other side.