Hoover # 1

Hoover # 1
Posted February 4, 2012 - 10:17pm
1

I received a text recently from N. he was being extremely nice and asked to meet up. At first I felt happy he contacted me and then on the other hand it confirmed his pathology. Who in their right mind could be a cruel asshole and return months later like nothing ever happened? He never even acknowledged his treatment or anything he had done to me. A normal person would at least say " hey, was thinking of you I know you probably hate me but...." even as selfish as that is at least a normal person would know that I haven't forgotten. I ignored the text. Will he try again later? I honestly don't think he really wanted to go out or bother with me. I think it was an attempt to see where my head was, if I'd respond to him at all. These jerks!!!!

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midnight7's picture

Ns never believe a

February 5, 2012 - 6:00am — midnight7

Ns never believe a relationship is over - they believe they are entitled to come back at any time, despite their evil behaviour, as if nothing had happened. My xN has contacted several women up to 10 years after he D&D them and been successful securing a one night stand in some cases. I thought the xN would not get in touch with me. He has 3 times in the past 40 days and twice since I told him not to contact me ever again. NC is the only way. http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2012/02/04/always-wait-24-hours-remember...

Anari's picture

Please stay nc. If he really

February 4, 2012 - 11:46pm — Anari

Please stay nc. If he really cared he'd show up , take you out for dinner and make it up to you. He's just testing the waters and effing with your mind . You'll hate yourself if you respond.

jackguy's picture

if he really cared

February 5, 2012 - 8:54am — jackguy

he wouldn't have abused you in the first place...sounds like you are handling this well...recognising that anyone who thinks they can reset a relationship like nothing happened is well and truly into mental abuser land...glad you weren't tempted to respond.

Phoenix72's picture

Yep! He always wanted to get

February 4, 2012 - 11:12pm — Phoenix72

Yep! He always wanted to get right to it, hardly any foreplay! Always wanted me to hop right on like he was the mechanical horse at Wal-Mart! I can probably count on one hand how many times I climaxed during a year and a half with him!

Are you sure yours was telling the truth about his exs come begging back for sex???

Armed's picture

Stupid narc

February 4, 2012 - 11:54pm — Armed

Well um they do lie....lol no he probably was lying about it. If anything, they miss the man they
thought he was. Im sure because I do too but I know it's all fake. He even told me his most recent ex started back texting him but I talked to her and she told me he'd text out of the blue. Who cares....waste of space. If I hadnt done my homework I'd probably respond and meet him. When you know better you'll do better. Very hard but the lesson is learned!!!!!

Phoenix72's picture

They are AHMAZING! Yea, ALL

February 4, 2012 - 10:35pm — Phoenix72

They are AHMAZING! Yea, ALL the times that my xN broke up with me, which was on a weekly basis for the past 6 months, he would text after a few days as if nothing had happened. The last 2 times he ended it though he would wait a few weeks before contacting me.

I'm sure yours will send another text. It may not be in the next week or so, but he will hoover again. I just know by what I had seen with my xN's contact pattern with his ex's via his text messages on his phone. He would wait a few months before the initial hoover. Depending on how they responded or didn't respond, would determine how much longer he waited for another text. If they didn't reply, he would wait 2 or 3 months.

Armed's picture

Meaningless existence.

February 4, 2012 - 10:45pm — Armed

I wish he would get what he deserves. From what he said, all his exes come back around. He even said that one ex would beg him for sex ( the ultimate boost for ego). One thing about me, if he never remembers me for anything else. I refuse to be the ex that slipped, gave in, and let his back into my bed. My N is the Casanova type: handsome, charming, manners, and respectful. At least that the mask he wears. He's none of these things and actually told me he holds all women in contempt and lacks respect for them all. Funny, how they'll tell you who they are if you're listening carefully. Boy did I have a ton of what the f*** moments during " pilow talk". Yuck they serve no purpose on this earth but to warn and prepare us for the rest of the pack, wolf pack that is and validate human evil.

Isis's picture

Same here

February 5, 2012 - 2:18pm — Isis

Mine was also the Casanova type and would also be very sure the sex act was something good for me.

He always kept one "ex" because according to him, it was her who wouldn't let it go and wanted to sleep with him. Curious as it might be, it is partially true.

There was(is) another OW who was always contacting him asking him for sex. I read it.

However, if they do it, it's because those women feel they can do it. One of them even told him on an email "consider me your unemotional eletric heater because you may need it in the future.

When I look at this now, is amazing to see how they are all so manipulated.

Armed's picture

Wow...my ex said they used to

February 5, 2012 - 2:39pm — Armed

Wow...my ex said they used to text and beg for d**k...ugh, why? He once told me that his child's mother wanted sex even after he was in a relationship to have a piece of him. Of course he wasn't going to turn down free sex. I will not ever call him for sex, hell, I didn't want it while we were together. Puh-leeze.

Phoenix72's picture

Thats too funny! Only one of

February 4, 2012 - 10:54pm — Phoenix72

Thats too funny! Only one of his ex's EVER came back to him, she's an alcoholic along with him...so they were drinking buddies. And of course, the times they hung out he had lied to me and I caught him lying! To be honest, sex with him was great in the beginning then it dwindled out (madonna whore complex). It was NOT great, it was like having a drunk one night stand with someone over and over and over again. He MAY have lasted 5 minutes and that was WHEN he could get and keep it up! It was so mechanical, robotic like. What's crazy is I'm 10 years older than him and I stayed hornier than him!! lmao!!! And he THOUGHT he had sex appeal! Yea right!! We both could go into a public place and I could get a guy to come over to me and ask for my phone number BEFORE this fool could even find a girl to prey on!!! No joke, that actually happened to us one night a while back! I've had so many of my friends tell me that I am WAY too pretty for him, and they weren't saying that because they are my friends but because it was truth!! ha

Armed's picture

Wow bad sex too?

February 4, 2012 - 11:05pm — Armed

Well my ex N is very attractive and many women like him but the sex thing I couldn't quite understand. It was never super or mind blowing. It would take him forever to cum due to drug abuse and it was pure torture. I felt like a blow up doll with warm plumbing. He always wanted instant gratification and me well I was hardly ever aroused. I'm not the get right to it type of girl. Especially not into it when you don't pace yourself and go right in for the kill. Um NO. That said, I have no idea why his exes were chasing him for sex. Hmmm from my research, I've heard that most have great sex. Well mine was an exception for sure!

midnight7's picture

Hi Armed - yes, agree, sex

February 5, 2012 - 8:50am — midnight7

Hi Armed - yes, agree, sex was terrible. Think the reason many say it was great is the frantic, roller coaster nature of the relationships with these predators make it seem as if the sex is fantastic. Especially if you are in LDR as I was then it always involved running back/forward for brief encounters. As the relationship progressed though I didn't want sex at all - it was so dull/repetitive/mechanical/zero foreplay. They don't make love, as you say, they just seem to want a blow up doll, the treat you like an object. Think some exes chase Ns for sex as they are still addicted and still equating sex as a demonstration of his 'love' or that they are 'special' in some way.