So, I ended the relationship, told him never to contact me again, and went NC. I changed all the contact details - landline/mobile/email, told family/friends to decline requests for information. The xN caught me one last time the day before one of the numbers changed. I shouldn't have answered but I did and again I reiterated I didn't love or miss him, he should get on with his life, let me get on with mine, and never get in touch again no matter how much time had passed. I really thought that would be it.

At 3 weeks NC a card from the N comes in the post yesterday. I read it, then shredded it. I should have just shredded it. In the card he agreed that our deciding to end things was right even though there was still a connection between us and he forgave me for all! Connection?! I told him he was a parasite/predator. I ended it, he'd abused me for a decade - aaaggghhhhhh. I was so angry. I wanted to see a solicitor immediately, get a cease and desist/restraining order/phone him and tell him yet again to leave me alone. He forgive me! I exercised for an hour, stewed, posted on the forum, read, stewed, etc. I woke up the next morning, spoke to a good friend.

Then I just felt sorry for him. I'd been getting on with life whilst he'd been marinating in his anger for 3 whole weeks. I realised I didn't want to respond. I remembered Used posting about becoming 'addicted' to NC and how empowering that had been, I thought how Hunter would kick my arse if I responded - verbally, for my own good of course :) I thought Goldie, Spinning, Sparrow might be disappointed too. Then I just felt sorry for him again, he seemed so small, and insignificant. I regained my equilibrium and power in that moment. In the middle of the roller coaster nightmare with the N I would have responded in an extreme way. I waited, thought about it, thought about everyone on the forum, talked to a good friend. What exactly had I been so bothered about? The N is history. I'm in a good place, on my new journey. I am free.

When evil comes knocking again - always wait 24 hours, keep calm, and carry on as if nothing had occurred. Knowing everyone on the forum was there was just wonderful - thank you!