Cease and Desist Order

Cease and Desist Order
Posted January 28, 2012 - 5:51pm
0

Has anyone ever sent one of these to their exN? What was their response? Did it work to make them stop contacting you and stop communicating with you?

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Monica's picture

Mine has already been sent.....

January 29, 2012 - 10:51am — Monica

I also contacted an attorney who said this was an excellent plan before taking further legal action. I took the chance. The letters have been mailed. I just want PEACE. No means no. I am tired of his being allowed to use and abuse and manipulate so many people without any ramifications. If he hadn't used his work cell phone to harass me, I probably would have let it go. But that went way over the line. His personal cell phone was blocked and I didn't know his work cell phone number so it wasn't blocked. He is relentless. He would never give up no matter how many times I blocked or ignored. I just got sick of having my life turned upside down by him. Enough is enough.

Has anyone on the site ever sent one and had it be effective? I thought I read at least one post a long time ago where someone had posted that all contact ceased after the letter was sent.

abreva's picture

I think I wrote you about this, but maybe not.

January 29, 2012 - 2:21pm — abreva

I did not send a Cease and Desist - but my lawyer sent a similar type of letter on my behalf that was more appropriate to my situation.

I wanted him to stay away from my house.

It worked.

Good luck. And please keep us updated.

Hunter's picture

Sometimes this is a necessary

January 29, 2012 - 11:43am — Hunter

Sometimes this is a necessary process..

just make sure all bases are covered before taking action..

Hunter

Monica's picture

Thank you for your response, Hunter

January 29, 2012 - 2:22pm — Monica

Oh, I have made sure. 100%. I have all the proper documentation and proof. I have copies of the contents of his texts as well as mine asking him respectfully to leave me alone and not contact me any more and the proof that he ignored my request and contacted me again. And again. I have a copy of the letter I sent him via US Mail asking him not to contact me again. It was not combatitive. It was firm and polite and respectful and truthful. My attorney told me that with the documentation I had I could have gone right for a summary harassment charge or applied for a PFA. I truly do not want to have to do that. I just want him to let me live my life in peace. I do not want him to lose his job. I just want his employer to be aware that he is using his work cell phone to harass me (his personal cell was blocked) and that a person in management in my professional organization is harassing a member of that organization and they need to make him stop.

I will tell you that several people he was once close to, people that used to be his friends, believe that he is close to being over the edge for some reason. They are not sure why or what in his life is causing it. They don't even know if it has anything to do with me or if he is just using me to act out his frustrations. I feel that, if I don't take some kind of legal and official action now, it may be too late pretty soon. Next time, the authorities may ask me why I didn't do something sooner. This seemed like the best course of action that would not result in his having some kind of criminal record, at least right now. It is his "last chance" to go away and leave me alone.

Movingforwardnow's picture

Monica

January 28, 2012 - 6:31pm — Movingforwardnow

I just asked this the other day. I actually had mine drawn up with the help of my lawyer. I posted about it and everyone said ...."don't do it". I decided I'd sleep on it, pray about it and talk to my therapist as well about it. I decided NOT to initiate it. What I have been told is that will just really piss the Narc off and revenge will be HELL. I have to believe this is true. That advice came from everyone I spoke to about it, especially those on the forum who have more knowledge than I do about this and disordered jerks. I am glad I decided not to do it. I know his retaliation would be hell and part of what I can't stand right now, is the constant worrying of his next move. Living in fear, wondering what he is going to do next. If I had initiated the Cease and Desist I know my anxiety would be through the roof right now waiting on his next move. I don't want to live like that anymore. NC all the way for me. Granted, I don't know your situation so I am not telling you what to do. I am just sharing my expierence. Did you sign up for the weekly support group? I am really looking forward to it and believe that is a tool that is really going to help me in my recovery. Just think about it before you send it, ask others about it, pray about it (if you are a prayer) your answer will come. Mine did!