Its time D

You wont know how much I have worked myself up to this, you wont know I have tears in my eyes now but its time D, time to say goodbye.

I want you to know I though about giving up EVERYTHING, my husband my family for you. I want you to know my love was pure love. I honestly gave it my all. I tried to make you feel so special, you really mattered to me. I loved you with all my heart.

But I cant go on. You have made me doubt myself, made me feel an ugly worthless human being. My compassion meant nothing to you. I really didnt want it to end the way it did, I loved the fun we had together, the times you made me feel special but sadly those were far far outweighed by the times you made me cry.

I got bullied at school D from being 5 to 11, sexually abused by my uncle, had a forced abortion at 16 yet still I smiled. You knew all that and yet you took away the bit of self esteem I had left, the bit I had worked so damn hard to get back.

I wanted you so badly to be that person I first met, that person that made me feel alive, that I held on to far longer than I should.

I am not a cruel person and I tried every which way before finally going no contact. But you wouldnt listen, I text such heartfelt messages and you laughed at me for being weak. The times you gave me silent treatment hurt so much more than any name calling, because I had years of silent treatment as a little girl at school.

I left school as you know with no qualifications yet I picked myself up and ended up a double qualified accountant. I worked so very very hard to get to where I am now and you ripped down every bit of self esteem I had.

I wished you were the person I fell in love with but you arent.

But you know what.. I believe every cloud has a silver lining and I believe my close friend Rob was watching over me and allowed you to give me this pain for a reason. He is my guardian angel and he allowed me to go through this so I could see it for what it is now, before I gave everything up for you.

I dont wish you any harm, I just hope one day you realise what you lost.

Goodbye D.