Oh. What a journey it has been! I allowed him back in my life because he said he wanted to change. He admitted to *all* of the abuse. I am 99% at fault he told me. Then, because I am stronger and now started to stand up for myself?
No N. I am not ready for your weird sexual stuff.
Yes N. I told you I did not like that.
No N. I don't need to check in with you every couple hours.
Yes N. It's wrong to text, email and call me obsessively.
And, in the end?
A wise man at the Women's Resource Center in Decatur, Georgia told me once...
"Always expect a person to be exactly who they are."
He was "it" again and I was "that". I didn't want to be "that" any longer. I did not call him back one night (because I did want to look at the bars any longer) and was barraged with his stalking behaviors. He told me in an email that night to "fuck off eternally". This was after I sent him a text message that I was fine and would contact him the next day.
Then, after verbal abuse (serious twisted emotional stuff) I told him "that's it" in a Dear N email. I would not contact him again. And, guess what Forum? It's been since Friday! He predictably has stalked me (blocked him on my cell today) actually accused me (second time - first I had it - then he had it - then I had it and oh...his ex-girlfriend that he abused is a serial case) of having Borderline Personality Disorder. It's OK. He will still "love me" through my therapy now saying that he was only "responsible" for a couple episodes of his abuse towards me. "It can't be healed with drugs" unfortunately but he doesn't think that is a reason to "break up with me". WTF? I broke up with him!
Saved myself months of false therapy and further verbal abuse.
And, guess what!
Lisa *Goddess* Scott changed my Profile Name as requested to KittyRising from KittyVictim per (another Goddess post on this site).
Lisa Scott's book is amazing and I am buying the second one soon.
I don't even know how to express my gratitude to these amazing women who have bonded together on this Forum.
One paw at a time...