LightAtTheEndOfTheTunnel's Story

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#1 Nov 29 - 2PM
LightAtTheEndOf...
LightAtTheEndOfTheTunnel's picture

LightAtTheEndOfTheTunnel's Story

Hi Ladies! My Story - Need Advice?

Hi Ladies,

Ive been a lurker since February.

The story in a very quick nutshell is, i was D&D'ed very cruelly after 2years with a Narc on June 28th... on July 16th (ha!) he was at a mutual friends wedding with a OW as my replacement and has been with her since.

Ive been no contact since then, however had a contact slip this week when he emailed me.

He first emailed me on August 12th alledgedly to check i was safe due to the London riots?! (Sure.. you left me for dead quite literally in June and now you wanna check im ok?!) - i stayed no contact :-) and later found out he emailed whilst holidaying on his own (low supply - jeez these creatures are so predictable).

Ok last Friday i recieve an email from him, my hotmail unbeknown to me had been spamming my contact list.

I replied calling him out on OW and what he id to me - true to Narc form no accountablity yada yada.

But here comes the rub, he tells me twice ( the first time i ignored it) that he doesnt want his relationship with OW anymore, "grown tired of it" (still these creep's make me shudder|) it not what he wants etc etc.

Pulls out loads of BS such as "If i thought you could change Light id be chasing you back in a heartbeat" " You were the reason i ran away" "You were horrible to me" "Even though i dont want OW shes been fine, she hasnt nagged me, she hasnt done x y and z"

This has not fazed me ladies i still think this guy is a prick. I also believe the reason he has emailed me is because hes got tired of OW, supply is low yada yada.

He started talking inappropiately about our past sex life, reminiscing so to speak *wretches* Telling me things arent the same without me, how he will think of me in his old age (hes 31?!). All the crap we basically know Narcs arent capable of feeling basically.

My question is though ladies.. He asked me "How do i break up with someone when everything is absolutely fine?"

1) Everything isnt fine, hes disordered
2) My heart bleeds for this poor girl in ways, i saw this coming, getting into his car and noticing the passenger seat had been adjusted for a smaller woman (im 5ft 9 1/2 eek! lol), the way he went cold on me and ran straight to her.
3) Wow the idealisation period truly just last 3-6 months.. this is month 5 for them and already hes "bored". Truly speechless, alas it happened to me, and the one before me etc etc

Sorry back to my question lol

** He likes to throw at me that he left because of me being "bad" *rolls eyes* so i dont believe him when he says "everything is great with OW and shes better than you Light" as he knows he has to say that to try make me feel like shit.. it may have worked back then.. but now? Hell no!

Ive read far too much, experienced his wrath and educated myself, been through therapy to fall for his sh*t ever again.

Ladies as a silent lurker you guys have kept me strong in my recovery also.. back to NC! xx

Nov 30 - 12AM
Journey
Journey's picture

Welcome to the forum Light, I

Welcome to the forum Light, I congratulate your clarity and strength! No contact is the best way to keep that clarity and strength intact!! :)

Journey on...

Nov 29 - 9PM
las730
las730's picture

Mine does the same thing.

Mine does the same thing. Tells me I need to work on myself and why can't I fess up to all the things I did to him - my mind is blank on my actions. Anyway, I'm moving in a few days so the daily living will be done. He has been extremely nice, and wants to work on this relationship, tells me he is going to miss me. I only say there are so many problems that aren't being addressed. He said, well maybe we can do that when you move. I know he won't be able to. I know I will miss his company but this is be best, I can be myself again. I don't trust him). For you UK, you need to block his email address so you don't have to see his name or read his messages - you won't even know. Most all email accounts have this feature. I have yahoo, it took a few searches in the help menu, but I found it.
Nov 29 - 3PM
LightAtTheEndOf...
LightAtTheEndOfTheTunnel's picture

LOL!

Thanks UK Lady (Hey fellow Uk'er too!) and Spinning. Oh man ive had to keep a sense of humour, i literally had my best girlfriend in stitches when i recalled to her everything that happened in our relationship... because its just too incredulous to not see the disorder?! In the recent emails he asked me to tell him what he had ever done to me.. I outlined: Domestic Violence twice - the second time he bundled me in the car, dropped me at mine, dragged me out the car and literally went AWOL for 6 days all before my 28th birthday dinner that was coming up on the Saturday, he reappeared on the Thursday (Nice!) He cheated on me emotionally and psychically with a girl he met who was living in Beijing at the time but coming back to London, i had found the emails of how he was planning to be with her when she got back in the April. I emailed her letting her know who i was (he wasnt "best pleased" but i still took him back like a fool.. i know i know!).. oh then he turned all that round on me. He left me for dead in June, resurfaced updating his FB status to having been on a Stag weekend.. i saw my family members and friends cheering him on ( they didnt know that he had horns and went by the name Lucifer at night)... He then cheated/lined up new NS with his current GF he left me for/OW. His reply? "Light im still waiting to hear a legitimate thing ive ever done to you" Priceless! x
Nov 29 - 3PM (Reply to #10)
uk lady
uk lady's picture

Exactly

Priceless. But what does that matter - who would want to buy one. Yeap, been there, done that and am so not wearing that t-shirt anymore. What you decribe is exactly how mine operated over and over again. They never change - we just wise up eventually and have to walk away. The further the better. Nobody knows what it's like until they have been through the experience of a P/N themselves. Our sense of humour always comes back eventually and we all laugh like drains when it does. You are doing well. Keep it up. Dee x
Nov 29 - 3PM (Reply to #8)
Used
Used's picture

Light im still waiting to

Light im still waiting to hear a legitimate thing ive ever done to you" HE BREATHES...IS THAT LEGITIMATE ENOUGH...
Nov 29 - 3PM (Reply to #9)
spinning
spinning's picture

OMG Used!!!!

I am cracking up! So true!!! Love and light and laughter to you and to all who stop here from, (not) spinning. JUST LAUGHING MY ASS OFF!

spinning

Nov 29 - 2PM
uk lady
uk lady's picture

Light

He knows you are nearly over him so he is coming back to disrupt it to spin you back into his web. Such a sweet guy - NOT. But, you already know that. My ex used to tell me that I was horrible to him, LOL - read, "you are not giving me what I want Dee because you are onto me and I don't like it, that's not the way it's supposed to be because you belong to me and I can do whatever I want. So, stop it". Get real fella and piss off would be my response in my head. He's done enough damage to you so let him sort out his own problems. Or in more polite terms, NC. Stay strong - the light is very bright at the end of the tunnel. Dee x
Nov 29 - 2PM
LightAtTheEndOf...
LightAtTheEndOfTheTunnel's picture

Thank You Ladies

I agree with everything you have all said. Sounds weird but this was my "closure" in the weirdest way. He is just soooo evidently disordered where i hope OW sends him a "Get Well Soon" card instead of a Christmas card this year LOL ;-) We are so much better off i look back at my old way of life and shudder :-( xx
Nov 29 - 2PM (Reply to #5)
spinning
spinning's picture

Light, that's hilarious!!

A "Get Well Soon" card instead of a holiday greeting!!!! Love it! I, too, shudder when I look back at what I went through and even where I was just 12 short months ago...I am so happy now! Your sense of humor is great! It will serve you well and continue to bring you light! I am glad you're posting now! Most sincerely, (not) spinning. JUST GRINNING AT THE THOUGHT OF THE TONS OF GET WELL CARDS THAT WOULD BY FLYING THROUGH THE MAIL...

spinning

Nov 29 - 2PM
Used
Used's picture

LATEOTT

Welcome here, you are now in a sane safe place.... you know without me telling you ,he is no good.... so now NC IS THE NAME OF THE GAME... tho you feel for the OW, Its you that you should be concentrating on now....xx
Nov 29 - 2PM
spinning
spinning's picture

Light, your bulb is bright!

And I know you're going straight back to NC. Geez, I practically want to send the poor boy a hanky to cry in...boo hoo! (NOT)!!! Ugh, he's pitiful! As Hunter says, BLOCK HIM. And I'll add CLICK AND DELETE! Knowledge is power. I am so happy that your lurking here has brought you the knowledge and power you are feeling now! Rock on, Light! Most sincerely, (not) spinning

spinning

Nov 29 - 2PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Welcome to Narcville.. NC..

Welcome to Narcville.. NC.. Block him. Hunter