Sunshines story

Wow, where to begin. Its such a long story and to me its such a completely typical story of abuse and narcissism it sickens me to tell it. I basically got severly abused, beaten, kidnapped, psycholigically torchured, spit on, punched kicked, accused of: cheating, f-ing men, having affairs, sleeping with bosses x bf's and co-workers. I was devalued as a cheater and lyer, and i was discarded for apparent cheating and lying. Thing is, none of it was true.I was isolated, I had no male friends, I didnt speak to any male friends the whole time he and I were together. I got spit on and called a dirty slut...over a tape he claims he has of me which he hid a recorder in my house where he said i was having sex with another man. (No man has even been to my home becides him, ever.)

I tolerated it because i thought it was caused by a bad relationship he had where he was cheated on in the past and i thought it would get better once he saw i was trustworthy.It sickens me to write this by the way. It got worse and eventually when i realised that all this was just tactics for him ( his way of torchure) he began to discard me. The last 4 months he was discarding and i was holding on tighter and i became obsessed.

After the last incedent wherehe was drunk and he body butted me and whipped a jacket in my eye gashing my eyebrown with the zipper, I went to the crises centre. 3 days away got me just far enough away psychologically to run. I have not called him. He has not tried to contact me and I dont think he will. I am a useless slut to him, bad for his ego. I suspect he is slandering me to death with all our common aquantences. I dont want to know and fortunatly I dont really care anyway.

My current status is numbness and loss of interest in everything. Im empty just like him. I rarely cry.

Thanks for listening