Kylie's story 1

Ok so i'm 17 years old and I meet T. He is 19 we fall in love and basically we are together 8 years. He isn't prince charming but he loves me and I love him. He has a nice family who are always there for us to help out (although I took this for granted at the time). T IS NOT A N! Since T i've been involved with 2 N's I will call them N1 and N2. I was about 21 when I met N1 I worked in child care and baby sat for parents for extra cash. I baby sat for him and his wife. i remember the first time I saw him his smile so huge and i walked away mesmerized. It was as if I knew instantly he was the one and we had this amazing connection. Wow I never felt that before. Nothing eventuated and occasionally I socialized with them as a couple. They openly told me about their past having group sex with others. Some of her friends and other couples. I was shocked but tried not to judge. They insisted it was good for their relationship. I was infatuated with him and she seemed to know it. He seemed like the perfect husband. Any way we rarely saw them and mine and T's life was pretty boring but I was peaceful and happy. A few years later I had our son. T is a chef so worked split shifts. N1 would drop by and have coffee with me and flirt allot but it seemed harmless and as far as I could tell he was devoted to his wife. T expressed a dislike for him but he wasn't the type of guy to say 'hey i dont like this, he is over stepping boundaries visiting you while im at work. it's inappropriate'. So I continued to justify it to myself. He was grooming me and i was oblivious. I would often run into N1 while out shopping etc. (later he admitted he would drive past my house and park and watch see where I was going and follow me) Although at the time I seemed to think it was fete or something. Anyway nothing ever happened but fast forward about 12 months and I end up drunk on a night out with this couple and going home with them. YES IT IS DISGUSTING I KNOW!! I remember her whispering in my ear 'I'm doing this for you'. So after that night I could no longer live with the guilt and could not tell T what I had done. It would kill him. So instead i think I sabotaged our relationship. All of a sudden my family was no more. N1 continued to boost my ego and I thought I was falling in love. T and I were over and i started life as a single Mum. N1's wife who seemed to share him so willingly with other women told him to stop seeing me and I respected that for a while. I did a uni bridging course and began my degree in sociology. I loved uni and I was so passionate. Even though I was grieving my relationship with T but I was coping. The worst was the guilt I think I cried daily for over a year thinking of the pain I must have caused T. N1 was still texting me etc and coming to 'visit'. It was my dirty little secret. Fast forward again. His marriage breaks down and when we feel its safe we bring our relationship into the open.