DLP75's story

I'm probably one of the few males on this site, but I have had my heart torn out living with an extreme narcissist for over nine years. I had recently divorced after 21 years of marriage and soon after met this woman at work, where soon after we started dating. She's very attractive which was a plus for me because I never really thought I could attract the attractive. We had, what has been mentioned here as a roller coaster relationship. Friends and family always wanted to know why we were together so long but never married. All through that time, it seemed as if everytime things would be going great, she would get angry about something and break up for not getting her way, then in a couple weeks I'd be a fool and we'd get back together. I had no idea about narcissists, but after reading all the signs, this lady is textbook. She would get angry and whirl around in her chair as if to fight if someone brushed the back of her seat while walking behind her. She wanted everyone to know she drove a popular luxury car, worked at a very well known high ranking company, and lived in an elite neighborhood. She would want HER picture taken with birthday gifts SHE was giving. She would gripe continuously at me when I would try to help her, as I could never do anything good enough for her. She is obsessed with the way she looks. She would have the waiter when we would go out to eat change our table to her liking, or take back food for whatever reason.While we were eating she would in a loud voice say that she can't understand why people cant control their kids if a child would bump the back of her seat while sitting in a booth.I would ask her why things bothered her, and she would tell me she DESERVED the best seat while eating, and not be bothered while eating. She'd also tell the waiter to either turn the music down or change the setting on the air conditioner themostat. She would walk outside after eating and if people were smoking, she'd say again in a loud voice how she doesn't understand why people smoke. Really rude and embarrassing things.She made the comment to me that the women at work were jealous of her and treated her bad because of the way she looked. She has very few friends, but has complained that she wasn't going to speak to them again at one time or another because of the way they treated her, when she treated them even worse, including me. I would give her what I considered constructive criticism and ask her why she was publicly rude to people, and she would go into the rage and then silent treatment as has been mentioned in these blogs, and then tell me I was "yelling" at her, when I wasn't.I would tell her I love her and didn't want to see her that way, and she would tell me "If we're going to talk about ALL of my problems, why do you want to be with me"? I loved her very much and wanted to marry her (why now i don't know). I never had reason to think she was seeing anyone else as she had always said if I wanted to see other people she hoped I had the decency to tell her. There's not enough space here to tell you all of the ways she fits the textbook narcissist, but suffice to say if there were a narcissist hall of fame her statue would be out front. Well, 7 weeks ago she said she had to spend time at her Bible class helping this guy at her church set up a power point presentation. Stupid me, but yet I trusted her after 9 years. I started really talking very serious about getting married finally, and she played along. She always worked late (?) on Fridays, so we didn't go out much on Friday evening, but one Friday 6 weeks ago, I hadn't heard from her so when I called her she said she was eating out with her cousin, and wanted to know if I'd be awake later as she wanted to talk with me. She called later, and after 9 years, she broke up with me over the phone. As typical stories, we never saw each again, and when I tried to get answers or any closure, she would never return my emails or texts. It breaks my heart to think that this sweet, caring, lovable lady who I thought would love me for all time, would blind-side me with one phone call after all those years and time spent. After all of this, I profess to be a Christian, and am praising ALMIGHTY GOD,that I did not in fact marry this woman. Thank you. DLP75